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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25460338">Like a Moth to Flame</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hetas/pseuds/hetas'>hetas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hetalia: Axis Powers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alfred Lovino and Feliks are a trio of unlikely friends, Alfred has Daddy Issues, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Bottom/Sub America, Dirty Talk, M/M, More characters and relationships to be added later, Non-Binary Poland, Overstimulation, Praise Kink, Top/Dom Japan, it gets a bit angsty but this is mostly smut and fluff not going to lie, its MY fanfic and I get to choose what characters interact!, oh yeah past america/england, yes arthur is kind of a dick in this but secretly i love him</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:14:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>73,708</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25460338</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hetas/pseuds/hetas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“So,” Lovino started, the irritating spark in his eyes, “I found out some rather interesting news through a mutual contact.”</p><p>Alfred stared at him across the table, “If your contact is Feliks-”</p><p>“Hear me out,” Lovino interrupted, sliding one of the shots across to Alfred as a peace offering.</p><p>The bass from the nearby speaker thudded through Alfred’s chest as he sighed in resignation, “I thought we agreed you’d stop trying to drag me into this.”</p><p>“We can agree that I lied,” His best friend continued, toying with his own glass, “You’re broke and listen, it hurts to see you eating cheap-ass cereal with a cheap-ass spoon when we both know you could be eating cheap-ass cereal with a golden spoon.” </p><p>“I like my cheap-ass cereal, Lovino.”</p><p>[in which Lovino and Feliks convince Alfred to be their last-resort sugar baby to the country's most successful lawyer, Honda Kiku.]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>America/Japan (Hetalia), China/Russia/South Korea (Hetalia), Lithuania/Poland (Hetalia), South Italy/Spain (Hetalia)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>207</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Subby! Al is critically underused. I'm here to educate the masses on our baby boy. Hope you enjoy!</p><p>follow me on tumblr @heta</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>In hindsight, Alfred really should have expected Lovino’s ulterior motive the moment he’d paid for another round of shots – Lovino was tight-fisted, a modern age scrooge where money was considered. The last time he’d paid for anything, it came right before a ‘haha so I kinda need to live with you until further notice thanks I love you too’ and Alfred hadn’t bothered to ask. The younger annoyance also refused to pay rent until they moved to a nicer apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” Lovino started, the irritating spark in his eyes, “I found out some rather interesting news through a mutual contact.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred stared at him across the table, “If your contact is Feliks-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hear me out,” Lovino interrupted, sliding one of the shots across to Alfred as a peace offering.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bass from the nearby speaker thudded through Alfred’s chest as he sighed in resignation, “I thought we agreed you’d stop trying to drag me into this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can agree that I lied,” His best friend continued, toying with his own glass, “You’re broke and listen, it hurts to see you eating cheap-ass cereal with a cheap-ass spoon when we both know you could be eating cheap-ass cereal with a golden spoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like my cheap-ass cereal, Lovino.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A little birdy told me you were looking to buy a studio-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you that,” Alfred interrupted, “Literally last night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I have a solution,” Lovino resumed, “All I’m asking is that you consider it – the moment something happens you don’t like, I’ll drop it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred sighed at the innocent face his best friend was attempting to pull across the table, “You’re serious about this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to live in a better apartment and we both know you can’t afford to go half with me on something with more class.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He snorted, “Class? You don’t even pay rent right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino didn’t bother to retaliate, “Antonio has a friend. A lawyer friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your lawyer boyfriend has a lawyer friend,” Alfred repeated, “Consider me shocked.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not my boyfriend,” Lovino scowled as Alfred rolled his eyes, “And believe me when I say that you’re my last resort. ‘Tonio asked me to mention it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred threw back his shot, motioning with his other hand for Lovino to continue. He liked Antonio – Antonio brought food when he visited and chastised Lovino for being a brat (and there was also the main fact that Antonio made his best friend very happy). Lovino was in denial about his feelings for his sugar daddy and Alfred would rather not instigate something in that mess.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nobody is working out for this guy. It’s making us look bad,” Lovino sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, “We even tried Liks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you conclude that I was your answer?” Alfred asked, his laugh slightly incredulous, “If your fussy sugar daddy turned down Feliks Łukasiewicz, why are you even asking me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah, like, hold up. He never said ‘turned down’,” Feliks Łukasiewicz corrected, sliding into the seat next to Lovino. “We got off, it was great – I didn’t even charge him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred threw back another shot. He should’ve found new friends when he’d had the chance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We agreed I was talking to him,” Lovino scowled in greeting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m totally necessary,” Feliks answered, taking the remaining shot without asking, “You’re getting nowhere with our timid little Alfred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino snorted, “Our?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Timid?” Alfred glared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mr Honda is willing to pay more than anyone I’ve ever met,” Feliks continued, ignoring them both, “Which would, like, make you the most expensive sugar baby I know. Yong-soo is gonna be totally pissed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still don’t see where I fit into this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We know you’re not, like, inexperienced,” Feliks started, a grin forming on their lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We also know you like to complain every time you get drunk that there’s something obviously dissatisfying each time you get laid,” Lovino finished.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two shared a look as Alfred sunk back into his seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re tall,” Lovino stated after a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good observation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taller than him,” Feliks added.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why is that important?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And, y’know, the biggest fucking sub-,” Feliks said bluntly, wincing when Lovino kicked them beneath the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred attempted nonchalance, looking between his friends’ heads instead of at them, “And how would you know that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a beat of silence, Lovino said, “Your porn folder is saved to our shared online account.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And really, he should’ve seen that coming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Alfred croaked. The blush crawling up his neck turned his ears pink and the word dumbass flashed behind his eyelids when he blinked. Of course Lovino would snake his way into Alfred’s shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s your decision,” Lovino replied, tone slightly softer than before, “Just think about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino reached into Feliks’s pocket and pulled out an expensive looking business card. Of course he had a business card.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred stared at the black card a moment before taking it, reading the squared white font on the centre of one side, “Mr Honda. Ambiguous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Think about it this way,” Feliks began, resting their elbows on the table and a shameless smirk on their face, “You, like, get fucked the right way and make money doing it. Mr Honda totally gets de-stressified and a pretty blonde to call his baby. Me and Lovino keep our platinum status. It’s a win-win. Duh!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And if he doesn’t like me?” Alfred asked, flipping the card over to glance at the numbers. His face felt hot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then it ends there, no problem,” Lovino answered easily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He fidgeted with the card, “So… What? Am I supposed to text him? Isn’t that a little…informal?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“People text, Alfred, that’s, like, a thing that people do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred slid the card into his pocket, filing it away as a problem for sober him. He was well aware of his friends’ chosen lifestyle and though he’d be reluctant to admit it out loud, they weren’t wrong – not to be cliché but sex and money were two things Alfred could get behind. Or beneath. It had been a while since he’d found himself satisfied after getting laid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometime during the night when Drunk Alfred deemed it appropriate to lack inhibition, he typed out the numbers in white font and text a single ‘hello’.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>❈</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling over, Alfred buried his head beneath his pillow and tried to put off thinking for a few moments longer. Considering how much they’d drank the night before, Alfred wasn’t feeling all that bad – minus his dry tongue and the overall grogginess that seeped into his mind. It could be worse; he could be throwing up, like he’d heard Feliks do at some ungodly hour in the morning. They reaped what they sowed, and what they sowed was betting Natalya they’d drink her under the table. Toris had to drag them home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred enjoyed the mornings he wasn’t forced to drag himself out of bed – the mornings where he could lay and allow his mind to linger in limbo and think about nothing more than how good it felt to be beneath his 300 blankets.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The vibrating of his phone brought his short no-thinking session to an end and he rolled over, running his hand along the floor until he found the offending object. Even after turning the brightness to its lowest, Alfred had to squint at his screen to make out the words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>[unknown number]</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘And who might this be, hm?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Frowning, Alfred swiped to open the text from the unfamiliar number and upon reading his own ‘hello’, allowed his head to drop, limp, back onto the bed. So yeah, he’d done that. It wasn’t like he had anything to lose and he’d never been directly against the idea. He stared at his phone screen for a few moments longer before typing out the words that came first to his mind and tapping send.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘i was under the impression you were expecting me’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With reluctance weighing him down, Alfred dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. His mind was only half aware as he cleaned himself, stray thoughts panning out his empty day. He wasn’t struggling for money – money was tight, sure, he couldn’t afford the same luxuries as Lovino and their apartment was falling apart; but it wasn’t like he depended on those luxuries. His day job as sound management at a theatre in the city was enough to sustain him when paired with the odd shifts he covered for Natalya at the club.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So maybe he was three weeks behind on rent and Lovino refused to contribute to said rent until they moved apartments.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed, running a hand through his hair for the last time as he shut off the water and began to towel himself dry. The extra money would be good – he could move apartments, maybe even consider looking for cheap studios to spend his time doing work he actually wanted to do. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d thought about it, especially when he was already accustomed to the normality of it having been around Lovino and Feliks long enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pulling on one of his lazy day sweaters, he flopped down onto his bed and unlocked his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>[unknown number]</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Ah,   Alfred F. Jones.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred stared at the reply until another message caused the phone to vibrate in his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Let’s get dinner.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So soon? It hardly sounded like a question. Alfred’s heart rate had already tripled and the man hadn’t even introduced himself. He’d expected the lawyer to be less… abrupt somehow. What was he supposed to reply? ‘Sure’? ‘Sounds good’? What if he came across as too casual? Lovino had mentioned the man was fussy (or, to quote his best friend: picky as fuck), what if Alfred put him off before they’d even had a chance to meet? He swallowed his thoughts as he typed. And deleted his sentence. And typed again. Feliks had told him that be himself, that he was fitting enough – whatever that meant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘depends. are you taking me somewhere nice?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After hitting send, he threw his phone onto his bed and went to grab breakfast. Lunch. A late lunch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His day was free, meaning he and Lovino wasted their time recovering from the night before and complaining about leg space when Feliks lay across them to play whatever video game they’d left at theirs the last time they’d gotten together. Each time his phone buzzed, Lovino lifted an eyebrow but commented no more as Alfred and Mr Honda exchanged minor details – the nearest time they were both free, if Alfred knew where a particular restaurant was or if he needed Mr Honda to send him a car, which led onto exchanging addresses… and Alfred’s account number.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The dinner is probably so he can decide whether or not you’re the person he’s looking for,” Feliks said later that night as they pulled on their shoes to leave, “Don’t sweat it – I have a good feeling about you. Name one time I was wrong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How much did you bet Natalya?” Lovino snorted, giving Feliks a shove towards the door, “You were wrong in thinking you could seduce Mr Honda.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should’ve seen him, Lovino, he was way stronger than I anticipated, but, cute,” He then paused, “A ripped bunny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Feliks,” Lovino finalised and shut the door, wandering back to drop onto the sofa with Alfred, “When’s the date?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tuesday,” Alfred yawned in reply, “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s no way I’m letting you dress yourself,” Lovino informed, eyelids shutting, “Gotta send you all nice and pretty in pants so tight ‘dinner’ will be the last thing on Mr Honda’s mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m starting to think you care more about your ‘business’ reputation than my lack of experience in this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah,” Lovino replied, “Did he mention anything about after dinner?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Told me to keep my schedule empty,” He answered, “Just in case, I guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino hummed, “We’ll see.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>❈</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred allowed himself to breathe in the late city air; it wasn’t cold, but the last of the summer heat had started to dwindle and it left a chill in the air. They’d agreed on a later dinner and so Alfred found himself standing outside a rather upper-class restaurant in an area of the city he ventured into rarely. Alfred wasn’t a stranger to fancy foods and expensive clothing – but after he’d cut contact with his parents and relied solely on the money he earned, he hadn’t any reason to live expensively. If only they could see him now – see what he was about to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a satisfying thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt oddly calm, Lovino had reminded him multiple times that this wasn’t something he had to do. He’d had days to think about it – he’d had days to come to the conclusion that this was something he wanted to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The doorman smiled at Alfred as he approached and Alfred bowed slightly in thanks, letting his eyes wander over the interior of the restaurant. It felt like any other overpriced restaurant his parents and ‘friends’ had dragged him to over the years – but he refused to let that dampen the small thread of excitement he felt. He made his way over to the bar, picking up a menu to distract himself from the wait.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t left waiting long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred F. Jones,” The voice greeted, tone confident and calm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred turned, the smile pulling at his lips as he replied, “Mr Honda.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look-” Alfred’s eyes met the stranger’s and he had to bite his tongue to stop himself saying something dumb, “Good,” He then swallowed, “You look good, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beautiful, was the word Alfred was looking for. You have the most endearing eyes I’ve ever seen in my life, is what he wanted to say – that the man glowed. That his suit fit him perfectly, that despite the man’s smaller height, in frame he was larger than Alfred – his suit jacket hugged his broad shoulders and left little to the imagination. Instead, Alfred blushed, he stared; and blushed harder when he noticed the amused tilt to the older man’s lips and his own incredulous behaviour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pull it together, man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should we sit?” Mr Honda asked and Alfred nodded, not trusting his voice to act in his favour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting – but he was certain it wasn’t this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were shown to a lone table near the back of the restaurant – a table that was reserved, Alfred noted as he sat down carefully and tried to keep his long limbs from doing something embarrassing. It was silent for a few moments as Alfred kept his gaze focused on the menu (unable to read, just staring), he assumed Mr Honda was doing the same until he stole a glance upwards, only to meet the eyes of the man in question. He did not blush – he was not some inexperienced teen who struggled to last 5 minutes in the bedroom. Alfred F. Jones was not blushing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to crawl beneath the table and hide beneath the table cloth costlier than his rent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” Mr Honda started, his lips twitching upwards, “Nervous?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Alfred said all too quickly, wanting to narrow his eyes at the way the older man grinned, “I’m not usually like this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not usually shy and prepubescent?” He was teasing him. Alfred scowled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He closed over the menu, holding onto his scowl as he replied, “I’m not used to being on this side of the table. I’m usually the one… making an impression.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, so it’s my fault?” Mr Honda smirked, waiting for Alfred’s resigned nod, “I see. You’re cute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred groaned, swallowing his retaliation and instead mumbling, “You’re not funny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He found it easier to relax when the waiter appeared to list their orders, Mr Honda offering to buy an expensive (see also: the most expensive) bottle of wine and Alfred agreeing under the condition that Mr Honda drank most of it. They both ordered their food and Alfred found himself unable to look away from the other man as he spoke to their waiter – Alfred was slightly taken aback by the easy boldness that the other man revelled in, perhaps by how smooth his words sounded on his tongue. The way he held himself demanded attention and yet the other appeared more relaxed than Alfred tried to look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Most certainly a lawyer, Alfred thought, but not quite the type he was used to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finished ordering, he looked back to Alfred and smiled comfortably. For a split second, Alfred felt like he was dying. Without being too dramatic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A lawyer,” Alfred distracted himself by asking, “Is it stressful?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At times,” The other agreed, his eyes not leaving Alfred’s, “Are you a student?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was,” He replied, the empty wine glass suddenly more interesting to stare at than before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mr Honda nodded, “Any particular reason you’re not, anymore?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Parents. Arrogance. His own pride. He had been the one to terminate his relationship with his parents, refusing to accept a cent and moving to a city they’d never find him at the cost of his education. He never would’ve been eligible for scholarships with the kind of money his parents made.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A long story – maybe I’ll share it next time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Next time,” The eyes that had previously winded Alfred were even more breath-taking when Mr Honda smiled, “That does sound promising.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man was undoubtedly beautiful – but Alfred was no stranger to beautiful men, so that left him with the question of why. Why was he so easily effected by a man he’d never even met before? Alfred was flustered, he wanted to impress the elder without making a fool out of himself in the process.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred swallowed, tapping his fingers on the edge of the table, “I was told you were the one I needed to impress.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chuckling, the lawyer started to pour wine into Alfred’s glass, “Believe me, you’re more than adequate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Looking up, Alfred found his mind at a loss as to how he was supposed to reply. He chose to let the moment go and watch the rising red liquid in his glass, unsure how his choices in life had led to him having dinner with one of the most beautiful men he’d ever met. Perhaps he should’ve let Lovino talk him into this sooner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your voice is deeper than I expected,” The lawyer continued, filling his own glass next.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that a problem,” Alfred asked, looking back to the other man as he added, “Mr Honda?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not at all,” He replied easily, an amused glint to his eyes, “Call me Kiku.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honda Kiku,” Alfred repeated the name, it felt good to say and he tried not to think about the way it would sound in other circumstances, “I was unsure if you planned on keeping your name a secret.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I considered it,” Kiku admitted, “If this hadn’t worked out, I would’ve.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Worked out?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Our arrangement,” He informed, leaning back in his chair, “The decision is yours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mine?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhm. Are you going to answer or are you going to continue repeating the things I say back to me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was all it took for Kiku to force Alfred’s blush to rise to his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t expecting… I mean – so easily?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You seem surprised,” Kiku returned, watching Alfred fumble over his words, “Were you expecting something else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred sipped the wine, clearing his throat, “My answer is yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. I was curious as to how long you’d continue embarrassing yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I like you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a shame, should I get the bill?” Kiku smiled sweetly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>❈</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Stood in an elevator next to Honda Kiku made Alfred as excited as he was nervous. The other man was smaller and yet his presence made Alfred feel half his height – it had been the same at dinner. They’d made idle chatter, filled the time even though they were both aware they wanted nothing more than to return to Kiku’s apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had just been picked up by Kiku’s driver when Alfred’s uncertainty had set in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m new to this,” Alfred had admitted over the quiet hum of the car engine with Kiku’s hand on his thigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku had glanced up at him, a softer expression on his face as he’d replied, “I know, Antonio informed me that Lovino already threatened to cut up my favourite tie if I stepped out of line.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All I’m getting from this is Antonio is a snitch and you have a favourite tie?” It was Alfred’s turn to tease, “Suddenly you’re not half as scary as you seem.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You thought I was scary, that is cute. You don’t have to worry, I think there will be something satisfying in taking this slow,” There was an obvious suggestion in Kiku’s words, his hand feeling heavier on Alfred’s thigh, “Drawing it out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred hid his blush beneath the collar of his own jacket, pulling the lapels up to cover his face. Honda fucking Kiku effected Alfred’s blood pressure more than any unhealthy lifestyle ever could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The world beyond the elevator was not one Alfred had been expecting. He’d expected Kiku to have money – more than enough money, a highly paid lawyer, good at his job, a hard worker, no time for family but enough time to waste money on pleasure. No, Alfred was walking into the penthouse apartment of one the highest fucking skyrise buildings in the city. He’d expected Kiku to have a nice apartment; penthouse of a small apartment building at best.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Did Kiku work for fucking gold? The carpet beneath his feet felt like memory foam. It had been ten seconds and Alfred was already feeling like Lovino played him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Walking through the living area, he allowed his eyes to scan across the expanse of floor to ceiling windows that served Alfred with a beautiful skyline horizon view, the moon felt a lot larger than before. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth as he turned to stare at Kiku in slight disbelief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you were a lawyer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am,” Kiku replied, heading towards the kitchen in the corner without expanding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What kind of lawyer…” Alfred murmured, turning back to the darkened sky that felt a lot closer than it did an hour ago, “I got it – you’re a corrupt lawyer accepting under-the-table money to fix cases for rich mafia bosses.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku laughed, “Maybe I’ll share – next time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Touché,” Alfred replied, squashing down the thought of wow I really like that laugh if there was one sound I had to listen to for the rest of my life-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shut his mind up by wandering around the open plan living area. The carpet really felt like memory foam. Fluffier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku took his time pouring out two glasses of an amber Alfred didn’t recognise from look alone. It was when he held out Alfred’s glass that he noticed Kiku had rolled up his dress shirt sleeves to reveal tan, toned forearms. His tongue felt dry. Averting his eyes, he took the glass and sat himself quietly on the sofa, anticipation already settling low in his stomach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you seeing anyone, Alfred?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way Kiku said his name made Alfred’s grip on the glass tighten.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not,” He replied, sipping his drink, “Are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scotch whiskey. Alfred hadn’t tasted something this expensive since Lovino convinced him to break into his parent’s wine cellar reserved for the grander parties. It had been a fun evening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have time for stringed commitment,” Kiku answered, “What’s your excuse?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never found permanency appealing,” Alfred admitted in honesty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Placing his glass down on the glass table, Kiku hummed, “Take your suit jacket off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred complied, his skin feeling ten degrees hotter than seconds ago. As much as he wanted to say the mood change was sudden, he’d be lying – the moment Kiku had placed his hand on the small of Alfred’s back and walked him to the car, Alfred had been willing to drop to his knees and be good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Asking isn’t your thing?” Alfred placed his suit jacket on the sofa next to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not the one who needs to ask,” Kiku replied, considerably content.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see that,” Alfred replied, watching Kiku closely as he added, “Mr Honda.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s lips tilted upwards slightly, “I was hoping you would, baby boy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took a considerable amount of self-control for Alfred to bite back the curse on the tip of his tongue. Baby boy. Alfred had never felt so small – so turned on – in his life. He was used to being the one in charge, on top, dominant; Kiku took all of that from him, stripped him down with a simple tilt of his head, eyes watching for every tiny move Alfred made. His eyes reminded Alfred of a cat, pretty, sure, sly and deceiving – perched above a mouth and a tongue that could tear him open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take off your glasses and stand up,” Kiku started, his finger trailing along the rim of his glass, “And unbutton your shirt, for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred did so without a sound, the anticipation flooding his veins as his fingers began to unbutton his shirt. He took his time – not too much time – but enough time to not seem eager. Kiku huffed, raising an eyebrow as Alfred undid the last button. He let his shirt fall open to reveal the skin beneath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something wrong?” Alfred asked, faking innocence with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved to stand in front of the elder, his heart beating a little less systematic than before. Even like this, looking down at Kiku – even like this, with Kiku sat before him, Alfred was well aware that none of the power in the room belonged to him. Alfred wasn’t used to wanting things.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His breath hitched when he felt Kiku’s finger trailing along the skin above his belt, his anticipation growing into something close to want. The finger paused at his buckle, hooking lightly so he could direct Alfred.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“On your knees,” Kiku’s voice was low, certain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred lowered himself to his knees, the expensive carpet providing enough cushioning for comfort as Alfred fitted himself between Kiku’s open legs. He remained silent, his arms hanging uselessly by his sides itching to touch, to feel the other man with his hands. He looked up, want swirling in his stomach at Kiku’s satisfaction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I...” Alfred trailed, his hands hesitating at his sides.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku smirked, well aware of what Alfred was trying to ask, “Use your words, angel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I touch you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhm.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He placed his hands on Kiku’s knees, feeling the firm muscle beneath his fingers as his hands followed the length of Kiku’s thighs. Increasing the pressure of his hands, he traced his right hand towards the elder’s hips and paused. Moving his eyes from his own hands and to Kiku’s eyes in question, the other man gave him no answer and instead watched, a curious look in his eyes. Alfred dipped his hand into the softer inside of Kiku’s thighs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaining more confidence in his actions, he drew nearer to Kiku’s bulge and palmed him softly, watching Kiku carefully and ignoring the fact that Kiku felt big and he wasn’t even fully hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You never told me you were a tease,” Kiku said, his voice a little more controlled than before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You never asked,” Alfred replied, before applying more pressure with his palm, “I want to taste you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe if you ask. ”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mr Honda,” Alfred looked up, feigned innocence on his face as he moved his hand against Kiku’s crotch, “Can I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you what? I already told you to use your words, angel,” Kiku trailed his fingers along the arm of the chair, “I don’t like to repeat myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred swallowed, taking a breath. He was already hard and they hadn’t even done anything – he wasn’t used to this, it was unfamiliar and Alfred loved it. He wasn’t familiar with asking to suck his partner’s cock and part of him already wanted to know what would happen if he didn’t ask. He stored the thought for another time and bit his lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I taste your cock, Mr Honda?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku smiled – smirked – and Alfred’s breath caught in his throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s hands were no longer hesitant as they undid Kiku’s belt and trousers, not bothering to pull the elder’s trousers down and instead just his underwear. He took Kiku into his mouth, using his hands to pump where his mouth couldn’t yet reach and using his own saliva to help the slide of his hands. Beneath him, Kiku groaned – the sound went straight to Alfred’s dick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku let out a content breath, relaxing back into the chair and tangling his hand in Alfred’s hair. He didn’t push, merely scratched his nails gently against Alfred’s scalp and Alfred keened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So pretty,” Kiku praised, his words breathless as he continued to tease his fingers through Alfred’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s lips were tingling, both from the alcohol and from having them stretched around Kiku. He fell into a rhythm, taking Kiku deeper each time – this wasn’t his first time blowing a dude, but it was his first time blowing someone who resisted thrusting up into his mouth. As much as he wanted that, as much as he wanted Kiku to just tighten his grip and use his mouth, he was just as turned on by the mere control Kiku exhibited over everything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All too soon, Kiku was tugging him up by his hair and Alfred whined – until Kiku pulled him in to kiss, a hand still tangled in his hair as he licked into Alfred’s mouth. Alfred groaned into the kiss, submitting completely to Kiku’s mouth and enjoying very moment of it. Kiku wasn’t rough – his movements were strong, confident, dominating and Alfred found himself whimpering into the other’s mouth as his dick pressed against Kiku’s thigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take your pants off,” Kiku said as he broke from Alfred’s mouth, littering small kisses down Alfred’s jawline as he spoke, “Spread yourself out on the sofa, for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred complied, sliding both his pants and underwear off and moving to sit on the sofa. Kiku waited for a moment, watching him with his eyes dark. He ran his thumb along his own lower lip to clean away the spit and Alfred almost moaned from the sight alone. Kiku pushed himself up, moving to stand between Alfred’s semi-spread legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he lowered himself to his knees, Alfred almost whimpered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s hands were warm on Alfred’s legs, but they didn’t linger long as Kiku pushed Alfred’s legs open wider.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you...?” Alfred asked, aware that if he looked down his chest would be tinted red with blush.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to be honest,” Kiku started as he started stroking Alfred’s cock, “I don’t usually do this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred bit his lip to keep quiet as Kiku’s other hand began to knead the muscle on the inside of Alfred’s thigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you look so fucking good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with that, Kiku lowered his mouth to Alfred’s hole.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time, Alfred whimpered, the entire bottom half of his body out of his control – Kiku’s hand felt so good on his dick, but his tongue, Alfred was fucked. His head lolled back as he continued to moan, his arms trembling on the sofa – Kiku went on, moulding Alfred into a mess beneath his hands and mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for Alfred’s moans to turn into something less conceivable and when Kiku pulled his head away, his lips wet, the strength in Alfred’s arms failed him and he fell back against the sofa cushions. He was so fucked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku leaned away to receive something from a drawer under the table and Alfred almost whimpered again at the mere thought of what was about to happen. He was painfully hard, pre-come leaving a small wet trail wherever it touched.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the press of Kiku’s lubed finger to his entrance, the pleas fell from Alfred’s lips without his full awareness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>," he keened pathetically, "Just-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a good boy,” Kiku began, pumping his hand as he hummed in thought, “You take my fingers so well, baby boy. Do you finger yourself, hm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred tried to cover his face with his hand, well-aware he was blushing harder than before – but one look from Kiku had him lowering his hand back to the sofa. He nodded, biting down hard on his bottom lip as he tried to keep his own hips still.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku hummed again, kissing the inside of Alfred’s thigh as he added another finger. The stretch wasn’t too uncomfortable but Kiku distracted him with his mouth regardless, marking the sensitive skin on Alfred’s thighs. Alfred was breathing hard, hands digging into the soft cushions beneath him, he wanted more but he knew he had no power here – this was Kiku’s pace and Kiku wanted him wrecked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the fourth finger, Alfred was a mess – his breath left his lungs in short pants and his mind screamed with want. When Kiku curled his fingers up, Alfred also jolted up, a sob leaving his mouth at the white hot pleasure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So pretty for me,” Kiku said in a low tone, “So perfect.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku,” Alfred wanted to sob, “Fuck, please-- fuck me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for Kiku to withdraw his fingers, what Alfred was not expecting was to be pulled down onto Kiku’s lap – the other stroked him slowly as he sat down in Kiku’s lap, the stretch causing him to bury his head in the crook of Kiku’s neck. When Alfred’s ass met Kiku’s thighs, it took him more than a few moments to adjust.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hands gripped Kiku’s shirt, thighs trembling and Kiku soothed him, pressed kisses along his mouth and to his ear, whispering a quiet ‘you’re doing so well, baby boy’ that made Alfred whine into the elder’s neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s hands were running across his thighs, up his stomach and down his back in soft motions as he waited. Alfred was breathing hard, mustering the strength in his thighs to start moving. Kiku caught his lips, kissing him slow and gentle as his hands continued to knead Alfred’s thighs and ass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the support of Kiku, Alfred began to rock himself on the other’s lap. The pleasure was almost instant and his thighs continued to tremble, less so with the support of Kiku’s hands on his ass. It took a few moments for him to find a comfortable rhythm, lifting himself up and dropping back down until Kiku’s cock filled him up again. Moaning almost repetitively, he moved his hands to the sofa behind Kiku’s head and picked up his rhythm – Kiku thrusted up to meet him and Alfred couldn’t help the yell that left his mouth alongside his please because Kiku felt so fucking good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku was nipping along Alfred’s neck, his teeth leaving marks as he fucked up into Alfred. Alfred pushed back just as hard, meeting Kiku’s thrusts and drawing a low groan from the other man – the sound spurred Alfred on and he rocked harder against the other, riding Kiku’s thighs and crying out every time Kiku thrusted up at just the right time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit-fuck, ” Alfred let out, unable to catch the curses, “Kiku – Mr Honda. Please-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His own dick was left neglected between them as Alfred bounced, Kiku panting hard against his skin – when he reached to relieve himself, Kiku caught his hand and pressed it back to his own shoulder. Kiku was slowly picking up the pace, his hands gripping Alfred’s hips so tight he was certain there’d be bruises. Alfred was forced to hold on to the broad shoulders, his thighs burning as Kiku fucked into him harder and Alfred attempted to rut down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No touching,” Kiku answered Alfred’s pleas, “Be good for me, baby.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-- fuck,” Alfred groaned, his fingernails digging into Kiku’s shoulders as he chased his release, “I don’t-I can’t. ”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can,” Kiku murmured, using his own strength to bounce Alfred as Alfred’s strength began to waver, “You can, baby boy. For me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please, ” Alfred let out, sobbing into Kiku’s chest, “I don’t think I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku bit down onto Alfred’s clavicle hard and Alfred yelled out, every movement Kiku made causing pleasure to shoot up his spine as he found the perfect angle to rut into Alfred. Alfred’s words became incomprehensible as he tightened his grip on Kiku’s shoulders, his nails leaving track marks even through the shirt. The sweat trickling down his back was nothing compared to the way Kiku snapped his hips up and into Alfred – Kiku’s voice at his ear, tone deep and demanding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could feel his lower stomach curling tight, a begging need for release that had Alfred whining pathetically. He’d never felt so good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred,” Kiku’s voice was almost a growl, “Baby, you’re doing so well, so good, ” He thrusted up harder, Alfred yelling his name with the last of his energy, “You want to be a good boy? Come for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s hips stuttered, the pleasure rolling over him in waves as he came hard between them. He let out a hiccupped moan into Kiku’s chest as Kiku’s thrusts grew more erratic with the pleasure of Alfred’s ass tightening, hot, around him. He groaned Alfred’s name, spilling into the younger with the last of his thrusts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Collapsing forward, Alfred fell into Kiku with his strength diminished – Kiku’s chest was rising and falling hard as he breathed, but Alfred still curled against him when Kiku raised his arms to wrap around Alfred. It should have been awkward, given Alfred’s extra height – it wasn’t, it was comfortable, content with post-orgasm bliss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s come was sticky where they pressed against each other, but neither of them complained; Kiku dropped a kiss on Alfred’s sweaty hairline, chuckling a little at Alfred’s little huff.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They remained still for a few further moments, catching their breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was nice,” Alfred’s voice sounded rough when he spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred felt the puff of Kiku’s laugh on his hair, “I agree. We should clean up, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tightening his hold on the other, Alfred shook his head. He was too tired to move, he was perfectly fine laying here and not cringing at the empty feeling as Kiku removed himself. Everything felt better like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We shouldn’t clean up,” Alfred disagreed, tucking his head further into Kiku’s chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re cleaning up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred tilted his head up to pout at Kiku, “I’m tired.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Kiku leaned down to kiss Alfred’s pouting lips, Alfred knew he shouldn’t have felt that flutter in his chest, the light feeling in his stomach – his heart rate shouldn’t have picked up at something the other man considered a pleasure arrangement. That’s not how this worked – not after a day, after one fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did well,” Kiku kissed him again, kissed him until Alfred was left breathless and blushing, “Let me take care of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he’d known being taken care of translated to ‘pick Alfred up and carry him to a bathroom bigger than his apartment’, he might have rejected. He did reject, a few moments too late, by which time he was already in the air and what the fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Feliks was right,” Alfred huffed as Kiku set him down in the bathroom to run a bath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what was he right about?” Kiku asked, pouring a lotion into the way-too-large bathtub.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re cute,” Alfred started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll indulge you,” Kiku replied, amused, “Go on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And ripped,” Alfred repeated Feliks’s words, “A ripped bunny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A ripped bunny,” Kiku repeated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m still high from the whole-” Alfred waved his hands between them, “Orgasm experience. Can I request plausible deniability?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Under what pretence?” Kiku asked, indulging him once again in amusement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So many.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku snorted, “So many.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you telling me ‘so many’ wouldn’t hold up in a court of law?” Alfred asked, appreciating the view of Kiku’s back as he disposed of his shirt, letting it drop to the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Depends how good your lawyer is,” Kiku replied, smugly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred hummed, pretending to consider Kiku for a second, “So, how good are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Judging from these,” Kiku pointed to the scratches on the back of his shoulders in the mirror, “I’m guessing pretty good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Alfred replied, rather sheepishly, “I didn’t… well, I did mean to, but at the time it felt like a good idea, but I just realised we didn’t discuss that, I’m sorry I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re cute,” Kiku said again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not cute,” Alfred grumbled, looking down at the marks on his thighs to avert his gaze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The marks looked good there, small splotches of dark red and purple painting the paler, softer skin between his thighs. He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but he liked them – liked the small sting from the bite on his clavicle Kiku left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So cute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were okay, I guess,” Alfred shot back in defence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll remember that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It turned out that ‘being taken care of’ was a literal meaning, for Kiku cleaned Alfred in the bath whilst leaving light trails of kisses everywhere his lips went. Alfred felt content in the heat of the water, his back against Kiku’s chest and Kiku’s fingers massaging shampoo through his hair. His thighs ached and he assumed (correctly) that they would hurt even more the following day. He didn’t mind much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He kind of liked it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He liked it a lot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred dozed off a few times in the bath, the heat and lack of energy wrapping around him with Kiku’s arms. Kiku pulled him out of the bath, handing him a towel and plopping a smaller one atop his head as he fetched one for himself. There were a few moments wherein Alfred debated whether the lull of silence was a good thing – it felt good, natural and comfortable. Stress-free.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Begrudgingly, Feliks and Lovino had been right. Good sex, good money.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Honda Kiku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Kiku asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glanced up to meet Kiku’s eyes in the mirror, smiling a little, “Sleepy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was lead into the bedroom by Kiku, who handed him a large t-shirt and pulled on some comfortable clothes of his own, before tugging Alfred beneath the heavy covers of the bed. Alfred curled up around Kiku’s side, his hands tracing light patterns on the muscle beneath as he allowed his own breathing to even out and his mind to drift.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im super late but i hope this chapter is good enough to make up for that 🥺</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred awoke to an empty bed, something expected considering the man now paying his ass worked enough to afford a place like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t had a chance to take in much of the bedroom considering the lights had been dimmed the night before, but even the sheets felt like heaven against his skin – or rather, his thighs, as all Kiku had given him to wear the night before was a large sweater. On the topic of thighs; the moment Alfred had attempted to roll over on the bed, his thighs feat lower region halted his movements when his muscles tightened in protest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A physical reminder of the previous night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred found himself almost smiling at the thought, pushing himself up onto his elbows as he considered the best way to move in favour of his aching muscles, choosing first to actually sit up. He’d done that. Last night. Had sat in Kiku’s lap and begged and it had felt good, he’d be willing to do it all over again just to hear the way Kiku growled his name. His mind was still stuck in the slow process of both recalling the events and waking up as he ran a hand through his hair – he had no idea what time it was, nor where his clothes were. Was he supposed to just leave?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone was found on the bedside cabinet alongside a note written in fancy scrawl.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘I sent your suit to be cleaned – you’re welcome to wear something of mine and collect your clothes next time. I enjoyed last night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Mr. H’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred glanced up from the note to Kiku’s wardrobe. Would anything belonging to Kiku even fit him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone vibrated in his hand, lighting up his screen with ‘10.24am’ and a text from Lovino.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>[(tall) man child]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt; someone didn’t come home last night. and it wasn’t liks, who did come home,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt; this isn’t even his home</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt; we need to change the locks</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt; who even gave him a key</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt; anyways hope ur not dead lol</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not bothering to indulge his best friend, Alfred yawned and clicked the call button.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not dead,” Lovino greeted when he answered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not dead,” Alfred clarified, stretching his legs out in front of him with a groan, “Far from it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not gonna say I told you so,” Lovino said just as Feliks yelled ‘I told you so’ from somewhere in the background.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a pause, Feliks yelping, and then a thump. Alfred waited.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wanna get lunch?” Lovino asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred yawned again, “Uh-huh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, he fucked you that good?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” He didn’t need a mirror to know his traitor face was blushing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re paying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the phone call, Alfred found the energy and curiosity to peek through Kiku’s wardrobe. At first, everything looked and felt like something pricier than Alfred wanted to consider borrowing and washing on his own. The further he walked through the wardrobe, his hand running along the clothes in consideration, the more relaxed the attire appeared. He pulled out a university hoodie, it was much larger than Kiku, that's for sure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It smelled nice and the sleeves fell beyond his fingertips when he pulled it on; he wasn’t complaining.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For trousers, he had to settle for a pair of black sweats. Al's ass was too big for anything else of Kiku's. They were the softest pair of sweatpants he'd ever worn, like he was wearing a cloud. Also, he was wearing Kiku’s clothes, which was kind of… hot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pocketed his phone (and Kiku’s note), making the bed before he headed over to the elevator. His eyes still followed the stretch of windows in awe, dropping down into the morning rush of the city below in thought. There was something more to Kiku than being just a lawyer. He knew Antonio lived well, his apartment was nice and he spoiled Lovino just as much. But, Antonio didn’t live in a central city penthouse apartment of a sky-rise building – like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or perhaps Alfred was over-thinking this and Kiku was just a good lawyer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until he was in the taxi to meet his friends that he bothered to check his account balance – and almost choked on his own lungs with how quick he inhaled. The taxi driver shot him an eyebrow raise in the rear-view mirror as Alfred continued to stare at the digits on his phone screen, and yeah, Feliks had been right. He considered himself lucky that his bank knew of his family name – if not, he was almost certain he’d have been flagged for fraud or suspicious activity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At least they could move apartments, now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opted to exit the taxi a block before the café he was meeting the duo at for lunch – mainly because he was early, but also because he wanted the time to breathe and walk. He’d enjoyed the night prior, had enjoyed the way Kiku had made him feel. The money might have also played a part in Alfred’s new found contentedness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mindfulness lasted for all of 30 seconds, in which time his eyes landed on a magazine stand in the window of one of the smaller shops. He paused mid-step, mouth falling open at the row of economic magazines he was met with. Times Magazine’s Top 100.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Exclusive: Honda Kiku, co CEO of NiChu – how branching into China gave way for the country’s biggest and most successful law firm.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beneath the headline was Kiku – suit and hair fitting for a reputable magazine, leaning against a wooden desk with the city’s horizon coming through the window behind him. Alfred would have recognised those eyes anywhere; the sharp corners, cat-like, demandingly indecent. The hardened line of his shoulders remained as confident as Alfred remembered and the waist-coat hugged him in ways Alfred had to stop himself from thinking about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was going to fucking kill Lovino.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And yeah, maybe he was slightly agitated over the fact that he’d just had to buy a fucking economy magazine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally reached the café, his mood had shifted from shock to a simmering anger. He bit his tongue as he reached their usual table, silently placing the magazine down in its centre and taking a seat. Lovino let out a monotone ‘ah’ and Feliks found it within themself to look mildly sheepish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just fucked one of the richest bachelors in the fucking country,” Alfred paused, eyes flickering from Feliks back to Lovino, “And you didn’t think I needed to know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean,” Lovino cleared his throat, turning the magazine upside down, “We didn’t lie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not only that,” Alfred continued, glaring at Lovino over the table, “But he’s the fucking Co CEO of the NiChu branch. The firm that is the number one competitor against my fucking parents’ firm. What the fuck, dude?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look on the bright side,” Feliks started, receiving glares from both Lovino and Alfred, “What better way to say ‘fuck you’-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fucked,” Alfred interrupted him in disbelief, “If they find out-if he finds out – what the fuck am I supposed to say? Oops? I’m still not seeing why your little-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you. I’m not little, just because you’re weirdly tall-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-didn’t see this as something I should’ve known? I haven’t seen my parents in years and now I’m being paid to fuck the leading partner of their enemy-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god. Both of you, shut the fuck up,” Lovino cut in, throwing menus at the both of them and scowling, “Feliks, you’re tiny, shut up and – Alfred, did you just use the word ‘enemy’?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two fell silent, scowling down at the café menus like they weren’t going to order the same thing they always ordered. Alfred had every right to feel pissed off, he needed to think about this – think about the fact he really did just sleep with Honda Kiku. Was Kiku even aware of who Alfred was? He doubted it, Alfred had always avoided public affiliation with his parents and he didn’t doubt they hid the fact that their son was a gay college drop-out living on free-lance money earned from music.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does he know?” Alfred asked, only after they’d given their orders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably not,” Lovino replied, looking mildly apologetic, or at least, as apologetic as Lovino would let himself look. “We should’ve told you, but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You would’ve backed out,” Feliks said, bluntly, “And you wouldn’t have that pretty mark to show for it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred pulled the collar of the sweatshirt up, looking out of the window to avoid their eyes, “I hate you both.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You enjoyed it though, right?” Smirked Lovino, toying with his napkin, “And you’re gonna go see him again, even after finding out. So what’s your problem?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Looks like he’s already got you in his clothes, anyway,” Feliks grinned in their attempt to lighten the mood, “How was it? Was it good?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We cuddled and watched Disney movies all night,” Alfred deadpanned, nodding a thanks to the waitress for his hot chocolate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks hummed, leaning forward to lick the cream from their latte, “I can’t remember the last time I had to borrow clothes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yesterday,” Lovino answered, “You borrowed mine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be pissy, just ‘cause half your wardrobe is at Antonio’s.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t often they got to see Lovino blush, but this was one of those moments. Alfred made a mental note to dig deeper into the aforementioned situation with one Antonio Fernando Carriedo and sugar baby Lovino Vargas, on the topic of thoughts and feelings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino started to rip the napkin into smaller pieces as he replied, “We’re not talking about that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And just like that, they were back to casual topics and semi-offensive remarks. Alfred couldn’t keep his eyes from falling back onto the magazine, deciding to give in and just Google 'NiChu’ like he hadn’t heard the name cursed around the corridors of his parents’ law firm a thousand times. He remembered the cute paralegal who he’d helped file the top shelf documents with one night explain – nobody simply entered a court room with Honda Kiku without an entire notebook of prior research in tow. Alfred couldn’t say he’d ever slept with someone who had a Wikipedia page, before – he couldn’t say he’d ever slept with someone whose name was followed by the suggestion ‘net worth’.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The penthouse made sense, now – but Alfred couldn’t help but feel a little… inadequate. In a larger picture, he really was nothing more than a private business associate. He knew that. He did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was bigger than just playing sugar baby to a wealthy lawyer. Honda Kiku was not anonymous to the world – his private life, perhaps, but everything else was open to public inspection. Alfred low-key wished he hadn’t found out; it would’ve made the complications of their set up far easier to deal with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had to talk to Kiku, at least – make sure the older man was aware of who Alfred was. Eventually.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next time he heard from Kiku was the Friday night. He was laid down, his long legs across Feliks’s stomach (on Lovino’s bed) and the two of them were watching some crime drama on Netflix. Feliks', despite being half under Al, was attempting to paint their nails. It wasn't working.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>What caught him off guard was the fact that Kiku called him – they’d only ever spoken through text before; so when Alfred’s phone had started to ring, he picked it up without checking the caller ID in presumption it was Lovino.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t Lovino.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude, pick up food ‘cause Liks is here and they destroyed our fucking cupboards. And none of that weird fructose shit – that gross-ass diabetes-inducing bull is not real food.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, is that so?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Alfred fell sideways from the bed, hitting the ground with a ‘hmph’ and sitting up straight to clear his throat, “Oh. Kiku. Hi? I thought you were Lovino.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m aware – although I wasn’t aware you had such a foul mouth. I’d rather enjoy taking my time to do something about that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s mouth dropped open into an ‘O’ and he glanced up at Feliks, the blush already starting to paint his cheeks red, “I really should’ve checked the caller ID. It won’t happen again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks snorted and proceeded to very maturely make kissy faces at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m assuming you’re not busy,” Kiku continued, the question implied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not busy,” He looked up, flashing a grin at Feliks’s offended face, “I’m not busy at all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad. Be ready in 10 minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, are you gonna like, tell him?” Feliks asked after he’d hung up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If he asks,” Alfred replied, “Which he won’t, so, no.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s probably for the best. I mean, you can’t exactly say ‘what’s up, Mr Honda, I’m Alfred of Jones International, you know, that one firm you probably want to watch crash and burn-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks stopped talking when they had to dodge their own laptop being thrown at them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next 10 minutes included Alfred rushing around the apartment, pulling on more suitable clothes and checking his appearance in every shiny surface he passed – he was lucky he’d decided to shower that morning. It wasn’t until he was pulling on his shoes that he realised he was wearing Kiku’s sweats ; at least if he wore them back to Kiku’s, he could swap them for his own clothes. He switched his shirt for the turtleneck he’d borrowed from Kiku and threw on his jacket, dashing out the door when his phone flashed to alert him that the lawyer was outside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took the steps two at a time to the lobby, simultaneously trying to appear socially acceptable and not trip over his own feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sliding into the familiar black car, he could feel his cheeks were red from the running and the cold outside. He wasn’t panting hard. Ish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you in a rush?” Kiku asked, a quirk to his eyebrow that almost made Alfred melt into the leather seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want to-,” Pant, “Keep you waiting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re worth the wait, Alfred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At least his reddened cheeks from exertion would hide any blush he had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s driver didn’t need to be told to start driving away as Alfred deflated into the seat. The lawyer was still in his work suit, different from the fancier suit he’d first seen him wear. He couldn’t complain, he was half certain Kiku would look more than good enough regardless of attire.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hum of the engine filled the space between them as Kiku’s hand found its way to Alfred’s thigh, his fingers playing with the frayed edges of the rips in the sweats  (that belonged to Kiku). Alfred tried not to think about it, much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice clothes,” Kiku commented, slipping his warm fingers beneath the rips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It required a certain amount of effort to suppress his shudder, “Thanks for letting me borrow them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lawyer hummed, fingers tracing Alfred’s skin lightly, “You look good in my clothes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The journey to Kiku’s apartment was quiet after that, Alfred not feeling the urge to fill the silence with idle small talk like the first time they’d met. He felt more comfortable like this, the car keeping him warm and Kiku’s fingers tracing along the bare sections of his thighs. He took more time to appreciate Kiku in this light, his stature pristine, his skin smooth and his eyes sharp. Alfred liked the possessive hand on his thigh, already familiar with the motion although Kiku’s eyes were focused elsewhere outside the window.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Part of Alfred wanted to ask about Kiku’s week – ask if he’d had any interesting cases at work, if there were people who had irked him; but he didn’t want to seem too invested, too personal. Their set-up wasn’t personal, it was business… Alfred left at the end with a nice sum and Kiku did as he pleased. Alfred wasn’t sure why the thought felt so unsettled within him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time they reached Kiku’s apartment, the sky was fully dark again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s initial intention had been to wander into the living area the way he’d done a few days prior – but the moment they were over the threshold to the apartment, Alfred’s wrist was in Kiku’s grip and he was being pushed against the wall. Kiku’s hand in his hair brought their lips together roughly, the grip not relenting as Kiku’s teeth on his bottom lip pulled a gasp from Alfred. When Kiku pushed his tongue into Alfred’s mouth without hesitance, Alfred found himself forced to grip Kiku’s hips tight to keep his head from swimming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kiss wasn’t rushed, more so rough, the air forced from Alfred’s lungs faster than he anticipated. When he pulled away to breathe, Kiku slid his thigh between Alfred’s legs, forcing them open and pulling a stutter from Alfred’s breathing – and Alfred wasn’t even sure he was aware what was happening, but he was happy to comply. Kiku’s mouth followed the line of Alfred’s jaw to his ear, lowering to his neck as he sucked marks into the area above the neck of the sweater. Alfred threw his head back, offering more of his neck as he all but grinded back against Kiku’s thigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been thinking about this,” Kiku said lowly, pushing his thigh into Alfred’s hardening cock, “All week.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been three day-ah!” Alfred was interrupted by Kiku’s teeth biting down, the older man smirking in victory.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bedroom.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except Kiku’s lips were on his again and Alfred couldn’t see where he was going, his feet merely following the path the other man was pushing him in. When Kiku pulled away to lift his own sweater over Alfred’s head, he almost groaned at the dishevelled look on the other man – his lips were red and swollen, his clothing amess and Alfred wanted nothing more than to see the man wrecked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was pushed back onto the bed, Kiku straddling his hips and biting Alfred’s bottom lip – and when Alfred lifted his hands to touch Kiku, Kiku pressed both of his wrists to the bed above his head without speaking. The harsher nip of teeth was Alfred’s only warning. The hands were removed from his wrists as Kiku began to kiss the toned surface of Alfred’s stomach, but Alfred was aware he wasn’t allowed to move his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Kiku’s tongue lapped at his nipple, Alfred had to grip the sheets tight in order to go against what every cell in his body was screaming at him to do and touch the man on top of him. He all but whined, high and quiet and hoping Kiku hadn’t heard – but he could feel the man smirking against his skin, his saliva leaving Alfred’s nipple cold when he moved to lick a stripe up Alfred’s stomach. Kiku only seemed more satisfied when he shifted his hips against Alfred’s bulge, feeling the younger man’s muscles tense beneath his tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku continued his ministrations until he reached the waist of Alfred’s sweats . He sat up to remove his own dress shirt, allowing it to slide to the floor from his position on Alfred’s hips – and Alfred whined again, wanting nothing more than to run his hands up the smaller man’s front.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Alfred started, looking up at the other, “Can I touch you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not yet,” Kiku replied, climbing from Alfred’s hips to stand, “You can, however, remove those pants.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred didn’t hesitate in lifting his hips to slide his own pants off, watching as Kiku took lube and something else from the bedside table. That something else being a plug. A butt plug. Alfred felt more blood rush to his dick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember when I’d asked if you’d fingered yourself before and you said yes?” Kiku asked and Alfred nodded, “Show me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku squirted the lube onto Alfred’s fingers before sitting to the side in wait – Alfred could feel his ears burning, part in humiliation and partly at his willingness to do this. He reached down, breath hitching as he worked his first finger into himself. Kiku’s hand on his chin turned his head to meet Kiku’s eyes as he did so, and he couldn’t help the moan that left his lips at the way Kiku looked down at him. Want, Alfred presumed, and something more intense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of Kiku’s hands was on his stomach, tracing lightly down his sternum and towards his aching cock. He inched lower but never touched, teasing across the soft skin of his hips and back towards Alfred’s nipples. At his third finger, the angle was awkward and Kiku leaned down to kiss him through it as he worked his fingers in and out of himself, hips rocking back down onto his fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku lubed up his own fingers slowly, visibly running his eyes from Alfred’s own to where he was fingering himself. The action was small and yet Alfred still shuddered, a gasp leaving his mouth when Kiku replaced Alfred’s fingers with his own. He hooked his fingers upwards once, looking for the place that would make Alfred jolt in pleasure – and then smirking when the younger man did just that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Show me how you touch yourself, Princess. I want to know what you look like when I’m not here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred had no quarrels about that, slowly stroking himself as Kiku hummed in appreciation. He stroked his cock slowly, the muscles in his abdomen tense in his effort to keep his hips still and not fuck up into his fist. It was almost embarrassing, how quick he managed to bring himself to the edge – Kiku noticed, too, the smirk stretching on his lips when he slipped his fingers from Alfred. He wasn’t left with the feeling of emptiness for long when he felt Kiku push the plug into him, his mouth falling open in a silent gasp as Kiku pushed it deeper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Think you can keep it in there for me, Princess?” Kiku asked, pushing himself up from the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred took a deep breath, shifting to adjust the plug into a more secure-feeling position, “I-I’ll try.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I asked,” Kiku’s voice was low, even as he slipped out of his own pants.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swallowed, meeting Kiku’s stare, “Yes, Mr Honda.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good boy. I’d very much appreciate it if you brought your pretty little mouth over here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred was quick to comply, biting his lip hard when his movements pushed the plug deeper. He lowered himself to his knees in front of Kiku, looking up at the older man through his eyelashes in silent question – no words were needed as Kiku’s fingers threaded through Alfred’s hair, pulling him forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened his mouth loosely, allowing Kiku to take control of his movement. Kiku slid his cock into Alfred’s mouth – he was already hard, which meant he’d gotten hard watching Alfred touch himself. The thought made him shudder, the vibrations of his moan making Kiku grip his hair harder. The other man’s hips were moving more than his head and so all he could do was remain still as Kiku slowly fucked his mouth, hips moving in a growing rhythm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does it feel good, Princess? To have your mouth used like this?” Kiku tugged him forward particularly hard and Alfred almost gagged, tears pricking his eyes, “I’m going to get a little rough, pinch my arm if you want me to stop, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waited for Alfred’s nod before snapping his hips forward at a quicker rate, Alfred’s lips being forced to stretch further around Kiku’s length. He gagged again, this time his hands raising to clutch Kiku’s hips as the older man fucked deeper into his mouth. He hadn’t asked to touch Kiku but he had no other way to ground himself, his nails digging into the flesh on Kiku’s hips as the tears continued to gather in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Kiku picked up pace, the movement of his body moved the plug in his ass and he groaned, high and whiney, as he clenched around the toy – which only heightened the pleasure shooting up his spine. He could feel his cock, hard and needy against his stomach as Kiku fucked his mouth, hard, until the tears started to fall down his cheeks. The very thought that Kiku had reduced him to this, a whiney mess so pliant beneath the smaller man, was almost enough to push him over the edge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look so good, Kitten, you’re such a good boy for me,” Kiku said as he slowed down into longer, deeper thrusts, “On your knees for me with such a pretty mouth. All for me, hm? Mine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Alfred shouldn’t have, not at words like that, but oh boy did he keen. If there was no cock in his mouth, he would’ve begged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Kiku pulled away from his mouth, he almost whined at the loss of contact, except the lawyer was pulling him up with a hand in his hair to clash their lips together. Alfred almost came at the thought of how he must taste, Kiku’s pre-come lining his mouth – it was only a brief kiss, before Kiku was pushing him down onto the bed. His hand lowered between them in search of the end of the plug in Alfred’s ass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred winced as it slid from him, the empty feeling growing as he clenched around nothing – Kiku wasn’t in a mood to wait tonight, it seemed, and Alfred almost cried in relief. Within moments, Kiku had lubed himself up and was pushing into Alfred, lifting Alfred’s thighs to wrap around his waist. Kiku’s lack of patience was permanent, for the older man didn’t offer much time before he snapped his hips into Alfred, the grotesque sound of skin on skin filling the room above Alfred’s cry of pleasure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His head felt elsewhere, every movement of Kiku’s filling him with a contented pleasure. It wasn’t long before he felt himself ready to climax, his thighs clenching harder around Kiku’s waist as he chased his own release.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku, I’m gonna-I need to-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Kiku replied, his own moans growing harder to hide, “Not until I say.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Any other day, Alfred would burn with embarrassment at the way his voice broke in desperation, “Mr Honda, please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At that, Kiku leaned down to press bruising kisses against Alfred’s shoulders as Alfred raked his nails down Kiku’s back in an attempt to halt his own release.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku growled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred almost screamed in an attempt to hold himself together, his legs wrapping tighter around Kiku as the other man found his prostate. Kiku’s name was leaving Alfred’s lips in a mantra of pleas and sobs and when Kiku pressed his lips against Alfred’s ear, his voice deep and rugged as he growled a ‘come for me, Alfred F. Jones’, Alfred did scream as his vision danced and his hips stuttered. He clenched tight around Kiku as he shot spurts of white between them, his noises fuelling the force at which Kiku fucked into him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred whimpered at the over-sensitivity, letting out another cry when Kiku thrust into him one last time and tensed, spilling into Alfred with a low groan of his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He collapsed onto the bed next to Alfred, his chest rising and falling rapidly as their pants remained the only noise in the bedroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred doesn’t remember falling asleep, nor does he remember Kiku cleaning him up and wrapping him up under the covers. He was only aware of the warm, content feeling, akin to what he imagined it would feel like if his mind was wrapped in cotton wool, as his mind slipped into slumber.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the type of nap where he was certain he dreamed, but could not remember anything beyond brief pictures and flickers of emotion. The slumber was brief, for he soon awoke to an empty bed, his eyes blinking up through the dim lights to the ceiling above. He allowed himself to lay there for a few moments more, his mind attempting to pull together sense and register the ache at the base of his spine. Moving took him longer than he appreciated and he already regretted leaving the warmth of the covers – though he did pull on Kiku’s jumper and his own underwear they’d discarded earlier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The digital clock on the dressing table flashed midnight – huh, he couldn’t have slept for more than two hours.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His feet appreciated the soft carpet as he padded from the bedroom, his eyes puffy from the short lived sleep but sweeping around the apartment for Kiku all the same. He could look at the skyline view a hundred times and never bore of it, Alfred thought, never bore of the feeling of detachment from the world and it’s strings far below – how the moon felt closer and the stars no longer a cold light out of reach. As much as he hated to admit it, he reckoned he could write music well here, sprawled out on Kiku’s sofa with his guitar and laptop. Dangerously domestic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes finally spotted an ajar door, soft light spilling onto the carpet beneath. He lightly creeped over, not wanting to disturb anything Kiku may have been doing but curious all the same – what he found was Kiku, hair pinned back from his face and round glasses perched on his nose, his shoulders sagged from where his tired eyes scanned over lines of text on a spread of documents in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something in Alfred’s chest seemed to give way, a small rush of lightness as he watched the other man work. He found himself wandering back to the kitchen, boiling a kettle and searching for the biggest mug in Kiku’s cupboards. He wasn’t sure if Kiku even liked tea – or how he would like his tea if he even liked tea. He used his own experiences; enough sugar to overcome the bitterness from the herbs in the tea and enough milk to eradicate that gross feeling no-milk tea left in the mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred felt a little uncertain when he knocked on the door to Kiku’s study, the sleeves of Kiku’s jumper keeping his hands from being burned through the ceramic of the mug. He almost retreated entirely when Kiku’s eyes snapped up, his eyebrow raising at the image of Alfred stood there in his jumper armed with a mug of tea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And when Kiku smiled, small but genuine, Alfred really had to fight the feeling of something else from blossoming within his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that for me?” The lawyer’s voice was deep, rough with how tired he must’ve felt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred nodded, trying his hardest not to blush, “I thought you-well, you looked stressed? And I thought maybe… Some tea would help – it used to help me, but – you might not even like it, but I mean-uh, maybe I should’ve asked? I’m sorry?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And when Kiku laughed, the sound distracting the butterflies in his stomach, he really fucking wished he knew how to control the dumb emotion part of his brain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked forward and into the study space, holding the tea out in front of him as though it were some form of defence – a useless defence at that, because Kiku lifted his hands and removed the tea from Alfred’s hands, setting it aside. Kiku tapped the desk space in front of him, motioning for Alfred to sit and Alfred silently cursed himself for not putting on his sweats , feeling a little naked in just the jumper and underwear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s head came up to his chest from his position in the chair and the older man opted to place his hands on Alfred’s knees, tracing gentle patterns up to Alfred’s thighs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for the tea, Alfred, but you didn’t need to do that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to,” Alfred protested, a little defensive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other man began to gently massage the muscles on Alfred’s thighs, easing the aches he’d forgotten about. Kiku had nice hands, his fingers were long and his palms were soft – or rather, Alfred chose to focus on Kiku’s hands and not his eyes, because his eyes were another world and dangerously close to Kiku’s lips and Alfred really couldn’t justify wanting to kiss the other man until his own breath ran low.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look tired,” Is what Alfred decided to say, his eyes still focussed on Kiku’s hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku shrugged, “It was a busy week.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Earlier, when we-,” He did not blush on the topic of sex, he was an adult, “You really needed that, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did,” He answered, “You seemed to enjoy it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been thinking,” Kiku continued, thumbs brushing over the marks he’d left on Alfred’s thighs a few days prior, “You seem content with moving forward, as am I – but I’m only willing to do so if you have a safe word.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A safe word? That meant things were going to get a little more… into areas where Alfred was inexperienced, to say the least. He wouldn’t deny the spark of anticipation the thought brought. He already had a safe word at the ready – you know, for spontaneous moments where he might just happen to need one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred bit his bottom lip lightly, opting for confidence, “Mushroom.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku didn’t even try to hide his laugh, “Not to question you, but – why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s enough to turn any man off,” Alfred replied, his voice dropping to a mutter as he continued, “They’re so fucking gross.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At that, Kiku really did laugh, “I’ll keep that in mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t make you tea for it just to be neglected,” Alfred complained, picking up the tea and pushing it into Kiku’s hands, “My blood and sweat went into this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lawyer turned up his nose at the thought, but pulled the mug to his lips regardless. He took a sip, deeming it drinkable as his other hand remained on Alfred’s leg. There was a lull in the conversation in which Kiku drank the tea, his eyes falling shut as he breathed. Alfred took the hair pin from Kiku’s hair, watching the locks fall forward onto Kiku’s face before he ran his own fingers through it. Kiku hummed in appreciation as Alfred ran the tips of his fingers across his scalp, almost laughing at the way Kiku practically purred like a cat when Alfred stroked behind his ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have much work left?” Alfred asked as Kiku finished the tea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku just groaned, which Alfred took as a yes. He removed the mug from Kiku’s hands and set it on the desk next to him, his fingers still threading through the dark browns of the older man’s hair. Kiku decided to just rest his head on Alfred’s thighs, allowing Alfred to continue playing with his hair as he placed gentle kisses on Alfred’s skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred laughed a little, sliding the glasses from Kiku’s head so they wouldn’t break, “Maybe you should just go to bed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We,” Kiku corrected, but the reply was muffled against Alfred’s leg, “We should go to bed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He straightened himself on the chair, peering up at Alfred with thought in his eyes. Alfred stared back, swallowing around the thought of ’this is a mutually-beneficial business arrangement’.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should just go to bed, then,” Alfred said, his voice quieter than he’d intended.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiss me,” Kiku said in reply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred swallowed, moving to get up from the desk, “You’re sleepy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s hand on his thigh kept him in place on the desk, “I said, kiss me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know what you said,” Alfred muttered, looking beyond Kiku instead of at Kiku, “I just think you’re tired and-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred F. Jones.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Alfred leaned down, his fingers finding themselves back in the older man’s hair as he pressed his lips against Kiku’s. He’d wanted to do this the moment he’d entered the study, had wanted to savour the way in which his mouth fit so well against Kiku’s, to remember the way Kiku licked into his mouth and how it made his veins burn in want.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kiss wasn’t rough, like earlier, it was slow and careful – like they both wanted to remember each movement, and fuck if Alfred ever wanted to forget the way Kiku kissed him like he was the only person he ever wanted to kiss again. And sure, Alfred was going to regret allowing his mind to be dragged into this, he was going to regret running his hand up Kiku’s back like Kiku was his to savour – but that was something for tomorrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as he wanted it to be forever, he supposed tonight would be enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And even though he enjoyed it when Kiku reduced him to nothing more than a mess, moulded perfectly beneath his hands, Alfred also enjoyed this – it was rather vanilla, the way Kiku took him when they finally made it to the bed, slotted between Alfred’s open thighs as he thrust his hips into Alfred slowly. But neither of them minded, and when Alfred came between them with a choked gasp, Kiku kissed him again and again as his own hips faltered and he slowly rode out his own orgasm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred fell asleep with his head tucked under Kiku’s neck – fell asleep in Kiku’s arms with a content feeling in his chest but a taste of regret on his tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Step One in a Sugar Baby’s Guide to Success: Do Not Fall for Your Sugar Daddy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was so fucked.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>follow me on tumblr @heta</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the long wait in between chapters! I honestly didn't know whether or not I wanted to continue you this, but I was inspired by everyone's nice comments and kudos! Thank you so much!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span> Before Alfred was even entirely awake, he had a list of things to do scrawled messily across the back of his mind. The first thing on said list was more metaphorical than physically doable – number one, forget the tired slash emotional slip into his feelings from the night prior. He had known what signing his name to this arrangement included before they’d even started; he’d seen the ups and downs that his best friend had gone through. He was a paid stress reliever, and he knew it; he knew Kiku knew it. He was thankful for their setup, he enjoyed what they did and he enjoyed getting paid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, why did he feel like he was losing? Perhaps it was just him being himself and finding easy attachment to things. Or people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t help but ponder how different things could have been if he’d gone the route his parents had intended for him – he could have met Kiku under different circumstances with enough relevance to mean something more than… this. Whatever this was. That didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Number two – Honda Kiku. Ni-Chu. Jones International. Alfred knew who he was – yet Kiku had no idea who Alfred was. Son and self-abandoned heir to an executive seat in his parents’ firm. It was no hidden secret that Ni-Chu and Jones International went head to head on multiple cases, often their goals less about clientele appeasement and more about kicking the other firm to the dirt. Except Kiku was different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Honda Kiku rarely lost a case against J.I. He’d lost cases, sure, rare and few between – but where Jones International was ever involved and Ni-Chu sent in Kiku, it was a fair guess to say his parents’ firm was fucked. There was bad blood between the two and Alfred vividly remembered his father, enraged, cursing Kiku from beneath his pile of subpoenas. So, yeah, Kiku was a good lawyer; his aura of indifference and degree of apathy was spoken of.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had no contact with his parents – so why did the ordeal make him so uneasy?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Alfred slid into the seat across from the lawyer, who’d made them both breakfast and stolen all of Alfred’s mushrooms before the abominations reached his plate, he readied himself with a long breath. Except, Alfred found it rather difficult to lift his eyes from the food in front of him, his chopsticks pushing around whatever classy breakfast Kiku had somehow managed to perfect.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Kiku waited, chewing silently, a soft expression on his face that told Alfred the other was willing to listen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s something we need to talk about,” Alfred started, risking a glance upwards.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Finally,” Kiku replied, taking a sip of the tea Alfred had made (again).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred bit the inside of his cheek, before he swallowed, re-thought his words and finally said, “It really is disgusting that you like mushrooms.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I found out something interesting,” Alfred hesitated, wishing he’d thought this through, “A few days ago. So, I was just – you know, doing some regular shopping, like all normal people do, when something catches my eye. It’s some magazines, and not those kinda magazines-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhm, you’re rambling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Alfred answered, setting his chopsticks down, “You’re Kiku.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku cocked an eyebrow at him, his tone deadpan, “And, you’re Alfred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred F. Jones,” He corrected, even though he knew that hardly explained anything, “This is a dick move, but – promise me you won’t get mad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That is a dick move,” Kiku agreed, putting his own chopsticks down as he sighed, “I promise I won’t get mad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Believe me when I say I had no idea who you were,” Alfred continued, “Before – I really didn’t know. I dropped out of college, I don’t know anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it isn’t as bad as you’re making it sound.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred rubbed a hand over his face, “My parents – they… Um. They’re partners for this law firm, and… You’re fucking Kiku from Ni-Chu and they’re the fucking Jones’ from Jones International.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The elder placed his chopsticks down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The silence that followed felt suffocating. Sure, Alfred may have been being dramatic, but the wonderfully controlled and blank expression that Kiku was sporting across the table from him did nothing to ease the tightness building in his chest. All he found was a flash of something disappointed in Kiku’s eyes (and of course his only tell-tale when hiding emotion is his fucking eyes) and Alfred closed his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Alfred watched the flashes of consideration like a movie in Kiku’s eyes – the questions, possible answers… Distrust in Alfred. Was this some malicious ploy set up by his parents? Or, perhaps, some revenge ploy by Alfred in order to get back at them?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He held Kiku’s eyes for a moment before the stare grew overbearing and Alfred glanced away – and Alfred knew, he knew he should explain. Explain the situation properly, how estranged from his parents he actually was – but would that even make a difference? If Kiku lacked trust in his name for no reason other than bad blood, would he feel the same for anyone involved in J.I?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All is well in law and war, his father used to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Regardless of whether or not Alfred should have explained, Kiku didn’t allow him the time to do so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to go to work,” Kiku said, after the silence stretched into discomfort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s… Kiku,” Alfred tried as Kiku moved to stand, “It’s complicated – I didn’t know. I just…” I’m the son of the partners of a firm that have tried again and again to destroy your entire occupation, “It’s complicated.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it is,” Kiku’s voice was cold and Alfred almost winced, “So, what? Your parents cut you off? You needed money from elsewhere?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not fair,” Alfred replied, defensive, “You don’t know anything about me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right,” Kiku agreed and Alfred really fucking wished the other man was worse at keeping such a blank face, “I don’t know anything about you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Alfred nodded, because Kiku was so carefully controlled and Alfred wasn’t sure he could sit and continue on a non-embarrassing level. He couldn’t find the words, not with the way Kiku gave him one last look of disappointment before slipping out of sight to get ready. Alfred could feel the words of sense catch in his throat, a small reluctance pulling them back down to his stomach – it wasn’t like he’d done anything particularly wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew he probably could have (see also: should have) offered more information, though he couldn’t help but feel an increase in resentment towards his parents. As much as he didn’t want to, he understood Kiku’s view – his parents, their firm, hated Kiku’s firm on terms that ran deeper than business.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I assume you remember the way out,” Kiku announced when he returned, his tone far too business-like as he fastened his cufflinks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A mutually beneficial business arrangement, Alfred thought to himself, rather bitterly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred nodded again. He just wanted to crawl home and climb beneath his familiar bedsheets and pretend that the ordeal hadn’t happened – that he was an adult who knew how to deal with adult situations and not create bigger messes.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Laid beneath the protection of his covers the way he’d previously promised himself, Alfred felt a little ridiculous. The situation was ridiculous – it was hardly anything to grow pissy about, yet here they were, being pissy. Alfred wasn’t throwing a self-pity party… This was a thinking party. For one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I sleep in here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred looked up from beneath his own cocoon of blankets, his eyes widening when he registered the tear-stained Lovino standing in his doorway. His best friend’s shoulders were sagging as though he’d lost the will to stand straight and he rubbed his eyes roughly with his shirt sleeve in an attempt to keep the tears from falling further. He could count the times he’d ever seen Lovino like this on one hand – Feliks was the resident crybaby, not Lovino “If-Looks-Could-Kill” Vargas. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sat up, a little uncertain on what he was supposed to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did something happen with Antonio?” His own problems were forgotten when Lovino nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lifting up the blankets, he motioned for Lovino to join him in the cocoon warmth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The moment Lovino slid beneath his covers, Alfred wrapped his own limbs around his best friend, playing the bigger spoon in their cuddling session. Or crying session. Because Lovino started crying again and Alfred cared less about his comfort sweater growing tear stained than the fact Lovino was fucking crying and Lovino never cried – and the last time he’d seen him cry involved a dog and a movie and one emotional Lovino.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred just pulled Lovino closer to his chest, unsure of what was standard routine in comfort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a certain degree of knowledge that Alfred already had in terms of the Lovino-Antonio situation. Lovino had met Antonio over three years ago, they’d fallen into the standard sugar daddy routine quickly – until it became more than that, and Lovino stopped accepting as much money from Antonio and instead spent days at Antonio’s apartment, and Antonio brought Lovino food when he thought the younger was stressing himself out too much with college.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as Lovino brushed it off, it was evident Lovino had quite literally fallen for Antonio. And Antonio was a sweetheart – Feliks had stated this before but Lovino was an idiot, because Antonio looked forward to seeing Lovino as much as Lovino looked forward to seeing him. The issue? Neither of them took notice of the way one would watch the other when they weren’t looking, or the fact they were on each other’s mind more often than not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So really, Alfred was growing closer to agreeing with Feliks and tying them both together until they talked it the fuck out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t say that to Lovino, obviously, because right now Lovino just needed to… deal with whatever had happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk about it?” Alfred whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred snorted, thankful that Lovino had at least stopped sniffling, “Did he do something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Lovino’s turn to snort, “No. But even if he did, what are you and your gangly limbs gonna do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call Natalya, obviously.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino laughed and Alfred felt a little closer to success.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They spent an hour or two like this – and Alfred was unsure who needs it more, him or Lovino. Alfred wasn’t unfamiliar with the feeling of unease in his life, of uncertainty, it’d been this way after the ordeal with his parents. He’d lacked direction in life, no stable income and a family that hated him for something he couldn’t change.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as he disliked it, he preferred it this way. He preferred making his own decisions and living his life the way he could – it was better than waking up to do something he hated, to pretend to be someone he wasn’t around rich people he really didn’t care for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone started to vibrate beneath the pillow and Lovino groaned at Feliks’ ID dumb image (A picture of blurry them, clearly drunk and laughing) on Alfred’s screen as he fished it out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred had to pull the phone away from his ear when Feliks yelled their reply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“ARE YOU WITH LOVINO? IS HE OKAY? DID HE CRY? IS HE STILL CRYING? DOES HE NEED ME TO BRING HIM WATER SO HE CAN CRY MORE-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino groaned again, “Jesus. Fucking. Christ.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“HI LOVINO~.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really think we should’ve just left them at the gas station that one time,” Lovino said to Alfred, rubbing a hand across his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We did leave them at the gas station. Twice. They keep coming back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you we should’ve just changed the locks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Too late,” Feliks sang through the phone and Alfred was the one to groan as he heard their apartment door being kicked shut.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within moments, Feliks had launched themself onto the bed, laying across both of them. Their attention was on Lovino, who tried to bat away Feliks’ hands as the annoyance pouted and tried to stroke his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As much as I would prefer to lay in bed with two hot dudes all day, I have a better idea – Gilbert invited us out and I think alcohol is a perfect rebound.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re acting like I’m going through a breakup,” Lovino replied, though he didn’t seem to have any opposition to going out. Which must have meant he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>upset; because Gil was Ludwig’s older brother, and even though Lovino didn’t hate him as much, he still avoided the Beilschmidt’s like the plague. Feliks once told him that he couldn’t hate them forever, and that they’d probably be his in-law’s soon, but to that Lovino simply ignored him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you are,” Feliks corrected, “Like, did you or did you not break things off with Antonio?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You what?” Alfred asked, sitting up and causing Feliks to squawk as they avoided falling to the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s different,” Lovino bit back, “We weren’t dating.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alcohol sounds like a good idea,” Alfred decided, turning the conversation away from a growing-irritated Lovino.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With Feliks lingering around, getting ready for a night out was far more complicated than it should have been – worth it in the end, usually, and Alfred wouldn’t disagree that he looked good. As did Lovino. And Feliks. He wanted to question Lovino about Feliks’s earlier statement, but he’d been reluctant to talk about it to begin with – which meant Lovino would probably drink some and then Alfred wouldn’t have to wait much longer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Alfred trusted anyone with bar recommendations, it was Gilbert Beilschmidt. Gil had been two  years above him when Alfred had still attended college, he majored in music and Alfred hadn’t the slightest idea how they’d met. One day, his life was Gilbert-free, the next, he was drinking at good clubs with good music and his life was not Gilbert-free.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he still attended law school and his life hadn’t had any favorable direction, he rather enjoyed drinking past the recommended limit and forgetting how he made it home. It hadn’t been healthy, but neither had anything else at law school.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino was quick to drink and get pulled away by Gilbert to the dancefloor – but Feliks lingered, taking the seat next to Alfred. He never gave Feliks enough credit for their observational skills, or their friend skills, or their skills in being able to shit talk his way out of anything. Feliks had somehow fallen into the weird trio that they were now, and Alfred appreciated them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” Feliks started, swirling the pink pastel colors of whatever cocktail they were drinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you know,” Alfred answered, glancing down at the strange colors of whatever the hell Feliks had ordered him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you know I know?” Feliks shot back, “And how do you know I know what you think I know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And here I thought headaches were supposed to come after drinking, not before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s, like, super offensive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not offended.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s true,” Feliks confirmed, turning to face Alfred on the stool, “What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing happened.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhm, is that why you’re moping?” His friend asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am not moping,” Alfred shot back, drinking far too much of his cocktail in one gulp, “And why are we drinking... pastel cocktails?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re pretty and I, like, wanted to take Insta pictures,” Feliks replied, uncaring, “But really, I don’t think the issue is that bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred finished his drink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just think you need to communicate like an adult,” Feliks informed, looking down the drinks menu for something else weirdly coloured, “Or maybe destroy your parents’ firm in a declaration of love, I don’t know. Is he into that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for the help,” Alfred replied, drily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But really, you’ll be thanking me after tonight,” Feliks started as they ordered the two of them something that tasted more like alcohol than anything else, “I called Antonio.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, Lovino ‘fessed up, totally spilled his homo heart all over the place – and then pussed out, retracted  his statements and ran from the place like a poorly executed teen drama,” Feliks explained, wincing as they took a sip of their drink. They promptly grave the entire thing to Alfred, “And then he texts ‘Tonio, telling him explicitly to never contact him again before switching off his phone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s…” Alfred trailed off, “Dramatic, but it’s Lovino. Did Antonio…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Antonio did nothing, I think he’s still awestruck. Which is why I called him, telling him to pull his ass together and ‘fess back, because Lovino is totally talkative when he’s drunk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure that’s, like, a friend betrayal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lovino will thank me tomorrow. Anyway, I dropped in a few words about you, y’know, to prod and see if I could find out anything interesting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mean look into my business,” Alfred corrected, “When you could just ask.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“’</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nothing happened</span>
  </em>
  <span>’,” Feliks poorly imitated Alfred’s words from earlier, “Anyway, Antonio said he hadn’t been able to get any words from Kiku all day, ‘cause he’s, like, totally moping too-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku doesn’t mope,” He interrupted, “He’s like, unnaturally calm. It’s scary. And kinda hot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Noted,” Feliks returned, before making Alfred finish both of their drinks so they could order the next round.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred wasn’t going to last much longer if Feliks kept on him like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get mad at me,” Feliks started in a tone that meant they’d done something, “But, Antonio knows you, right? Like, -ish? I asked him to speak to Kiku.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Feliks,” Alfred groaned, pushing away the empty glasses, “I love you, but I’d really prefer to fix this myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can still fix it yourself!” Feliks amended, handing him something blue in a glass after taking a picture, “I just said you were all, like, sad n’ stuff, so you were going out with your favorite person in the whole wide world, Feliks, to drown some sorrows.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I take back my earlier love statement.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Too late.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred was feeling the buzz of the alcohol too much to really care about Feliks’ meddling and instead helped Feliks fulfil whatever little experiment they was pulling with the weirdly flavoured cocktails – and when Feliks started mixing the cocktails with other, stronger additions of alcohol, Alfred knew he wasn’t waking up tomorrow without regret.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lost track of Lovino half an hour prior, but he’d been with Gilbert so Alfred wasn’t awfully concerned. Feliks’ cocktail alchemy had started to slur Alfred’s words and he deemed it time to go outside for a breather. Feliks shot him a mildly concerned look, but Alfred brushed it off with a ruffle of the younger’s hair. Thankfully the loudness of the club quickly drowned out Feliks’ whining about their now ruined hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a group of people smoking to one side, but Alfred avoided them in favour of actual fresh air. He leaned back against the wall, the cold seeping through his shirt and making him shiver – they were probably getting a taxi later that night, so he wasn’t too concerned about the cold. When his mind started to make more sense and his words weren’t heavy on his tongue, Alfred pushed himself up to head back inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which is the exact time his phone decided to start blaring loudly in his pocket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Kiku, obviously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liquid courage? He hoped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, you’ve reached Alfred,” Alfred answered, for no reason at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you at home?” Kiku asked, like their conversation earlier hadn’t happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Alfred lied, wincing when the group to the right gave out a round of cheers, “No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku didn’t sound irritated, he sounded oddly neutral, “Where are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it irked Alfred – he hadn’t done anything wrong, particularly, to deserve the cold treatment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Out,” Alfred answered, the cold breeze making him want to retreat inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rowdy group to his right were growing in noise and Alfred winced at the raise of voices, wanting to avoid getting in the way friendly fist-brawls. He took a deep breath in, savouring the cool air in his lungs as he listened to the silence on the other side of the line grow. Good. Alfred was feeling bitter and he wanted Kiku to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And where is ‘out’?” Kiku finally replied, “I’m coming to pick you up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um,” Alfred said, bristling slightly, “Not that this isn’t weird, which it is – should I expect some 50 Shades of Grey shit from you?” There was an awkward pause, before Alfred continued, “Sorry, Mr Honda, you don’t get to collect me tonight, I’m not yours to collect.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Part of his brain was screaming what are you doing at him – because of fucking course he wanted Kiku to come and pick him up, he was cold and Feliks was going to either shove weirder tasting cocktails into his system or try to break into Lovino’s mind, both of which Alfred would rather avoid. Especially when someone from the group to the right threw up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred grimaced and turned away, his grip tightening on his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that what you want?” Kiku asked, his tone carefully calm. Again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Obviously not,” Alfred muttered, feeling a little dumb for his outburst but continuing anyway, “You promised you wouldn’t get mad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not mad, Alfred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred knew he wasn’t – he wished he’d made the other promise not to get disappointed. He thought this probably felt worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re disappointed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was,” Kiku replied, honestly, “I assumed the worst. Antonio-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to hear what Antonio said,” Alfred’s interruption was quiet, “I want to explain it myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could have explained it better,” He confessed. The cold didn’t feel as bad, anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps, but I’d rather not do this over the phone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred let out an irritated sigh, the alcohol in his breath warming his tongue, “We wouldn’t have to do this over the phone if you hadn’t been such a hard-ass this morning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A particular hint that Alfred Jones should stop drinking: the already-thin brain to mouth filter was non-existent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you’re not about to apologise you can keep it,” He interrupted, and maybe, maybe, part of him liked not biting his tongue in reply to Kiku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku was silent for a moment and Alfred hung up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Alfred made his way back inside the bar, he found Feliks forcing his weird cocktails onto familiar faces that Alfred couldn’t match names to. Instead, Alfred opted to find Lovino – he figured he’d had enough alcohol to forget the fact that he couldn’t dance as he made his way over to Lovino.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spotted Lovino before the other saw him and Al knew he was drunk. Besides the obvious redding of his cheeks, Lovino, normally foul-mouthed and unapproachable, was dancing without a care in the world and smiling. Like, one that lit up his whole face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino’s grin grew even wider when he noticed Alfred, dragging him close and trying to make Alfred move his hips in ways hips were not supposed to move – Lovino was a good dancer, Al wasn’t, why was he on the dancefloor again?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are things with you,</span>
  <em>
    <span> mi caro amico</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred snorted at the name, well aware Lovino had the lowest alcohol tolerance out of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re good,” Alfred replied, stumbling when Lovino fell against his chest, almost knocking him into the girl behind them. “You are so lucky I’m not sober.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino laughed, “You fixed things with Mr. Honda then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was I that obvious?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wrapped yourself up in blankets.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You make me sound pitiful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Un babino</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Lovino cooed.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred couldn’t remember how much time he spent dancing with Lovino, or Gilbert, or strangers, or the amount of trips he’d made to the bar and threatened Feliks to not come within three metres of him with that glowing yellow drink – he had his suspicions, when he found Feliks sat smirking, on their phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He liked to think about what would happen with Kiku if he just pissed him off – did the lawyer even get mad? Or did he prefer alternative… punishments. Alfred was willing to find out. What would even piss the older man off? Even after their encounter this morning, Kiku had just retreated to his neutral face, eyes sharp and knowing – would he see fire in place of irises?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Drunk. He was drunk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dancing with strangers was never a great idea – unless you were Lovino, and could actually lead in dancing. There was one particular guy, Alfred had danced with him for a song or two, but hadn’t accepted the drink the other man had bought for him – a blatant action to show he wasn’t interested. So when he took his exit for a bathroom break, or just a break, he felt a flash of irritation burn under his skin where the other man had grabbed his wrist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred pulled his wrist from the grip, throwing a blatantly dirty look at the guy as he started for the bathroom – except, the dick didn’t know when to give up. A strong hand on Alfred’s chest had him pushed against the wall, the stranger’s face offensively close.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fancy a good time, sweetheart?” The words were alcohol laced.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m good,” Alfred replied, pushing the man well away from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, doll, I can-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said no.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The stranger’s hand was no longer reaching for him and Alfred had already frozen at the tone of the familiar voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku wasn’t looking at Alfred, his eyes confident and downright scary as he stared at the shock on the stranger’s face. Alfred could tell that Kiku’s grip was painful when the stranger hissed and snatched his arm back, walking away with muttered curses under his breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck?” Is all Alfred managed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Feliks sent me videos on Snapchat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have Snapchat?” Alfred fell back against the wall in defeat, the world spinning at the corners of his vision, “You’re, like, ancient.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should leave,” Kiku replied, cocking an eyebrow at Alfred’s laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if you’ve noticed down there in your…whatever,” Alfred’s mind didn’t know where that was going, “I’m an adult, who makes adult decisions – I don’t need you to,” He then waved his hands in explanation, “I could’ve sorted this out on my own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never said you couldn’t,” Kiku returned, his tone more amused than before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred groaned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And reached forward, grasping the front of Kiku’s shirt as he brought their mouths together – he knew he was drunk and this was irrational, but Kiku was just there and his lips were there and his eyes were daring him. Drunk Alfred did not back down from dares.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku pulled away first, laughing at Alfred’s noise of discontent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re drunk, let’s get you home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who are you, my daddy?” And really, Alfred lacked inhibition at this point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lawyer let himself be pulled back by Alfred, kissing the younger into the wall until Alfred’s lips were swollen and saliva pooled at the corners of his mouth. He made awkward eye contact with a passer-by and blushed, swallowing down his embarrassment. Alcohol was weird.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” Alfred slurred as Kiku led him from through the bar, “How long were you – y’know, like, creeping? I mean watching.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Long enough to see you weren’t interested.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred must have looked like a child when he stopped, pulling Kiku back to him as he snapped, “I can handle myself, I don’t need a knight in… whatever fucking brand of suit this shit is, seriously Kiku can you just-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Alfred was kissing Kiku again, kissing him against the bar between people trying to order drinks and some distinct part of his brain was certain he heard Feliks’ annoying glee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s all he remembered, really.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He woke up in Kiku’s bed – Kiku’s otherwise empty bed. Beneath the acid feeling of his stomach and the throbbing of his head, Alfred felt a pang of something close to embarrassment. He’d kissed Kiku a lot; in the bar, in the parking lot, against Kiku’s car, in Kiku’s car. Kiku had driven them both back here, no driver, and Alfred distinctly remembered touching way too much of Kiku until the lawyer had practically growled at him to stop lest he pull the car over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They hadn’t done anything past kissing, Alfred remembered. He’d been drunk and Kiku had made sure he got back in one piece, nothing further.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a glass of water on Kiku’s bedside table aside from two painkillers, which Alfred swallowed before making his way into Kiku’s bathroom. At least he hadn’t thrown up. He should’ve thrown up on Feliks the fucking traitor – not only that, but Kiku used Snapchat? Alfred was certain he was confusing dreams with memories.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt better after showering and drinking more water, pulling on his favourite Kiku sweater to find the latter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For once, Kiku was sat on the sofa facing the horizon view of the city and Alfred stopped for a moment, just appreciating the outline of the other man against the skylight. He swallowed around the thought that this was dangerous territory and dangerously domestic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slipping onto the other side of the sofa, Alfred pulled his legs up and rested his head on his kneecaps, watching Kiku file away his paper into a yellow file.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?” Kiku asked, setting the file aside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alive,” Alfred replied, “Thank you. For last night, I mean. All of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t do it to be thanked, Alfred,” Kiku responded, taking a sip from his coffee cup.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m still thankful,” Alfred muttered, playing with the cuff of his sleeve, “We should probably talk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should,” Kiku confirmed, before turning to properly face Alfred, “But – you’re right, I was a hard-ass, I didn’t let you explain before I assumed, which was rather reckless of me. I want to apologise, if you’ll let me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Apology accepted,” Alfred slid one of his legs out from beneath the sweater to prod Kiku with his foot, “So, I guess now is that ‘maybe next time’ we both mentioned, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want it to be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred hated how easy it was for Kiku’s words to fill him with warmth – he hated how his brain so easily responded to the way Kiku ran a hand over his leg without hesitation, how comfortable he felt like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was a law student, some prestige law school I was sent to the moment I was old enough,” Alfred started, shuffling a little closer to Kiku, “The family name, the family business, the family pride, y’know? I had my reserves about it, I’ve always wanted to study different things – but I didn’t mind doing this, for them; if that’s what they wanted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku hummed at appropriate times, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into Alfred’s knee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then second year happens, and my birthday happens – and I figure I’m tired of hiding myself from them, so I bring a date. He was a sweet guy, smart too; everything they would have wanted me to find in a partner, y’know, if he was a girl. They had too much pride in their status, said I brought shame and other bullshit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bullshit, indeed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred sank into the cushions, sighing, “By the end of the night, they were introducing me to a girl from some other firm – I wasn’t aware arranged marriages were still legal, but there I was, introducing myself to a girl they wanted me to marry for status.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku exhaled, pulling Alfred’s legs over his lap so he could move him closer, “What did you do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told them I was leaving, so my father pulled every cent from any account I owned – left me with nothing, trapped me there with no option but to continue attending college. Kept my sexuality a secret and used it against me when he could.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never had any personal dislike towards your parents before, but,” Kiku sighed, pulling Alfred closer to himself, “That’s despicable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My mom was less… Well, she didn’t hate me, at least. But I couldn’t live like that, I couldn’t marry a stranger like a pawn for power – and I couldn’t go to the police, because as much as I resented what they were doing, their firm employs…hundreds of people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But, what they did – it wasn’t right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lovino and I, we saved money where we could. His parents were not, y’know, millionaires, but they had money – and I’ll repay them for helping me, one day, if I can. I slipped out one night, we took cheap buses to places we didn’t even know existed and as scary as it was to be somewhere unknown at 3 am, I felt more free than I had ever before. Lovino transferred colleges and I found an apartment I could afford with the jobs I had managed to find.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a lull in the conversation wherein the words seemed to sink into the room – Alfred could feel Kiku watching him, he could feel the way it made his cheeks burn red until he wanted to hide his face completely. Before Alfred could bury his head in Kiku’s neck, the latter took a hold of his chin and tipped his head upwards. He leaned down and kissed Alfred, soft and filled with something Alfred couldn’t quite place – but it made that irritating warmth spread through his chest and he wanted to cap it, to stop it from developing into something deeper than it had already rooted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m happier like this,” Alfred said, fighting the blush even though it turned his ears red, “Doing what I want to do, I mean. It sucks I can’t study music at college, but, this is good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad,” Kiku murmured, pressing his lips against Alfred’s head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t fair that Kiku was allowed to make him feel this way, unbothered. He needed to get a hold of himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what’s your story?” Alfred prodded, shivering slightly when Kiku’s hand moved to his thigh, “You’re so young, and yet, Ni-Chu?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m older than I look,” Kiku answered, receiving a scoff from Alfred, “Graduated top of my class, joined a firm as fresh meat with a friend. Joined a firm we knew was rotting with corruption.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your friend?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku hummed his confirmation, “We work well together, we didn’t spend long in the shitty bullpens and soon shared a rather spacious office – they assigned us to a Chinese branch, so we spent a lot of time flying back and forth. When the firm went under, we orphaned our branch and kept our clients. We had contacts – Yao, that’s the friend, his father CEO’s a pharmaceutical company in China. It was guaranteed success.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s success and then there’s… Ni-Chu,” Alfred commented.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t easy, or simple,” Kiku responded, “There are many snakes disguised in Armani. The employers of the old firm, the ones we could trust, were more than willing to bring themselves and their clients to Ni-Chu.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred wasn’t sure when Kiku had slid his hand up to Alfred’s underwear, but he gasped when the cool fingers slipped beneath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am I staying for dinner?” Alfred asked, as innocently as possible, as Kiku palmed him through his underwear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d like that,” Kiku leaned down to lick into Alfred’s mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The younger granted him access with ease, his breath stuttering as Kiku palmed him through his underwear, stroking him to hardness. And smirking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred did not like that smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Last night, in the car,” Kiku began and the younger knew this wasn’t ending well, “I was driving, you were not generous with your hands, Alfred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you’ll excuse me, I have work to attend to,” Kiku smirked and Alfred groaned, falling back onto the sofa as Kiku stood, “No touching.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mouth fell open a little, “But…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Touch yourself and you will not come tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Throwing an arm over his eyes in an attempt to will his hardness away, he thought of all the gross things one might tend to avoid in such situations. His mind kept returning to Kiku, his long fingers and silver tongue – he needed to distract himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He watched Kiku disappear into his office, before pulling out his phone to check his friends were still alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>[(tall) man child]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt; heyyyyy frlikd saidf MR HHGONSA COLLECTE DYOU!!!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt; gi l n fekliks are still eith me so i m o,ay</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt; I jusssssssssssssssss got home</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt; i miss antonio</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he was reading through Lovino’s mess of texts, another came through and he snorted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt; ignore that message if you want to live.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt; and liks is alive, if you were wondering</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred sent back his usually ‘still alive’ messages before tossing his phone aside and stretching out on Kiku’s sofa. His head lolled to the side and he stared through the glass, his eyes following the movement of clouds for a few moments before he picked himself up to move closer. He stole some of the pieces of paper Kiku had left lying around and situated himself to sit in front of the windows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he wrote music, the rest of the world merged into a blur – it was still there, a dark smudge of a reminder that the earth was still spinning, but Alfred’s mind was elsewhere. He played one of his lyric-less demos from his phone, listening to the layers of his own music as he peered across the sky in thought. He’d already made a mess of scribbles and circled lines on the paper, tapping the pencil on his knee like a drum when he paused to re-read what he’d written down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes his lyrics never made sense and he had to dig deep to pull any real meaning from them – Feliks called it shitposting. Alfred agreed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was unsure how long it had been, but the sun had moved across the sky a significant distance when he finally removed his headphones to stand. Stretching and yawning, Alfred was mildly surprised to find his hangover hadn’t made a comeback.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred trudged into the kitchen, opening cupboards to peer inside until he made it to the fridge. As he moved to open one of the double doors, he stifled a jump when two arms wrapped around him from behind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku chuckled against Alfred’s shoulder, the action tickling his ear as he failed to suppress a shiver.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Work got boring?” Alfred asked, making no move to open the fridge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No need to get stressed about work when I have all I need out here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you planning to fuck me in your kitchen?” He asked, his heartbeat quickening slightly in thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I might be,” Kiku murmured, pressing kisses along the back of Alfred’s neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s-,” He had to bite his tongue when Kiku bit him, “That’s probably unhygienic.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make sure to question you about kitchen hygiene when I spread you out over the counter and fuck you so hard you’re begging to come.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really ought to do something about that mouth,” Kiku said, his hands turning Alfred to face him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku gave him one last, hungry kiss before tying his tie around Alfred’s head, securing it in his mouth securely. Alfred gave a tester bite to the material in his mouth, moaning at the new feeling of the gag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keep the sweater on,” Kiku mentioned as he lifted Alfred to sit on the worktop, “I want to fuck you wearing my clothes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred groaned around the gag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slid Alfred’s underwear down his thighs, smirking as he realised Alfred was already half-hard and sensitive from being left hard earlier. It took almost all of Alfred’s will power to keep from thrusting up into Kiku’s fist when the elder began to stroke him – he bit down on the gag, saliva already starting to pool in his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Blushing a dark red when he realised he was drooling, Kiku didn’t hesitate to collect the saliva with his thumb before using it to circle Alfred’s entrance. Alfred couldn’t help but jolt forward, his legs looking for purchase on something other than empty air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s chuckle was deep and Alfred could only watch as he lubed his fingers slowly, pushing the first into Alfred at such a slow pace that the younger wanted to fuck Kiku’s hand himself. He tried to beg around the gag, but all that left his mouth was a muffled sob and Kiku began to pump his finger – it was an agonizingly slow pace and Alfred almost cried in relief when he added a second finger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except, Kiku seemed really adamant against quickening his pace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred breathed in harshly, his mind waiting for the moment Kiku’s curved fingers found the cluster of nerves they were looking for – and when he found what he was looking for, Kiku added a third finger and continued to stimulate his prostate until Alfred was a trembling mess. He desperately wanted to wrap his legs around Kiku’s waist, but he knew doing so would only result in a longer wait.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At four fingers and a pace so slow Alfred felt like he was dying, the younger was already sensitive and over-stimulated. He cried out every time Kiku made a sudden move, his eyes watering as he begged Kiku to ungag him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not yet, baby boy,” Kiku said in response to the muffles, “Pinch my arm if you want me to stop, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waited for Alfred’s nod before continuing to pump his fingers in and out of Alfred.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred was ready, Kiku knew he was ready yet he continued to use his fingers – and every time Alfred cried out particularly loudly, one step closer to coming, Kiku would slow down and bring him away from the edge again. His throat was going to be hoarse in the morning if he continued to whine like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thought made Alfred clench around Kiku’s fingers and the older man smirked, removing his fingers and wiping them on the sweater.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Kiku finally slipped out of his pants, casting them aside to clean up later, Alfred almost cried in relief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He buried himself into Alfred in one thrust, allowing the other to wrap his legs around his waist to hold him in place. Light kisses along his jaw distracted Alfred as he adjusted to Kiku’s size, breathing deeply through his nose as his saliva continued to dampen the tie in his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s cock remained hard against his stomach, a need for release heightened by the edging Kiku had dragged out. When he was finally ready for the other to start thrusting, he made a noise around his gag that pulled a smirk from Kiku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did I hear a ‘please’ there, angel?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His plea was far whinier this time, still muffled by the gag all the same – but Kiku was satisfied, he pulled out to the tip, before thrusting back in. Alfred cried out, trying to meet Kiku’s thrusts as the other began fucking into him. His heels were digging into Kiku’s back, pulling him back harder each time as Kiku fucked him on the countertop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With each thrust, a noise left Alfred’s throat until he was clenching around Kiku – asking him for more, asking him to come, asking for it harder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of Kiku’s hands tangled in Alfred’s hair as he fucked into him faster, pulling Alfred’s head back to expose his neck – he found it difficult to breathe like this, his airways restricted to just his nose. The reduced oxygen intake had him clenching hard around Kiku in pleasure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku, taking advantage of Alfred’s bare neck, lowered his mouth to leave trails of his lips and nips of his teeth along the column of skin and Alfred was unsure how longer he could last – with his neck bared, Kiku’s fingers tugging his hair back and Kiku fucking into him relentlessly with his legs around Kiku’s waist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took him a few seconds to register Kiku untying the gag and he savoured breathing through his mouth as he kissed wherever he could reach of Kiku to muffle his moans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanna hear you,” Kiku gasped after a particularly hard thrust, “Let everyone hear how good I make you feel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Alfred couldn’t have muffled his mouth if he tried, especially when Kiku wrapped a hand around his cock and pumped him in rhythm with his thrusts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku-please, fuck, I’m so-,” His buried his head in Kiku’s neck to whimper, “I’m so close.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku pressed his lips against Alfred’s ear to murmur, “Come for me, Alfred Jones. You look so beautiful, so fucked out – all for me, hm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His build-up was finally pushed tumbling over the edge and he came with a cry, his come dirtying the sweater as he clenched hard around Kiku, who gasped and fucked him through his orgasm – his thrusts were growing less rhythmic as he fucked into Alfred in search of his own release, his hips snapping hard into Alfred and making him cry out consistently in over-stimulation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku, Kiku, please,” Alfred cried out, “Come in me. Fuck, Kiku, please-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred, so fucking perfect-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku was tipped over the edge, his hands grasping Alfred’s shoulders tightly as he fucked into him again and again, coming hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s hair and sweater were sticking to him with his sweat, he felt dirty but so content. He figured Kiku did, too, as he continued to pant against Alfred’s neck from where he’d slumped against him in an attempt to catch his breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Consider him an optimist, but Alfred was more than certain he could feel Kiku smiling against his skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Definitely an optimist.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CONTENT WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER. Alfred says the F slur. Please be wary.</p><p>Thank you all for your kind comments I'm so overwhelmed😭 I hope you enjoy this chapter!</p><p>My tumblr is @heta feel free to shoot me an anon or something!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>This was not how Alfred had planned to spend his lazy late Sunday afternoon.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’d spent the last hour sorting through a ridiculously large pile of apartment ads that Lovino, the fucking delight, had deemed up to his ‘classy’ standards. When Alfred had made it to the edge of giving up, mere seconds from throwing all of the ads through their open window, Feliks had arrived like a god-send armed with take-out and Alfred had been forced to sit through another hour.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve lived in two places your entire life, stop trying to give us real estate advice.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m, like, just saying-,”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Finish that sentence,” Lovino started, his voice carefully low, “And I will revoke your visitation permits, Liks.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s laugh was interrupted by a knock on their door and he cocked at an eyebrow at Lovino, who offered him nothing more than a shrug. Any of their friends called before turning up (save for Feliks, they never understood etiquette) and the only other person to knock would be Antonio – except, well, that remained a raw subject.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, let me get it!” Feliks yelled as Lovino pushed himself up to stand, swatting at Feliks who grabbed onto his shirt to pull themself up. As the other fell to the ground with a yelp, Lovino started his way over to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Feliks hopped up and was hot on Lovino’s heels as they both made a sudden scramble to the door; Feliks attempting to answer it first and Lovino not really caring but refusing to let Feliks win something as simple as this. They were like 5 year olds. The issue arose when Lovino threw the door open and the person beyond was blocked from Alfred’s line of sight. It took no more than 3 seconds for Lovino to freeze and for Feliks to make an immediate U-turn, throwing themself across Alfred’s lap. Feliks’ eyes darted from the door to Alfred, and Lovino was silently staring at the person beyond their doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good afternoon, Lovino,” A voice Alfred hadn’t heard in years greeted, “Is Alfred home?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ivan,” Lovino responded, his tone cold.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred had never been more thankful for Feliks, who’d anchored him to the sofa with their  arms wrapped tightly around his body – he would’ve laughed at the other’s antics, except he felt sick sidled alongside something that urged his legs to bolt in the other direction.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Which, considering they were five floors up, was not a bright idea.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t answer my question,” Ivan’s voice was as deep as Alfred remembered it, stirring a sickening nostalgia within his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lovino’s tone was bitter, “I don’t owe you, or them, shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Difficult as always, I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what?” Lovino’s laugh was humourless, “You’re their lapdog, now? What’d they give you, an actual fucking desk to work from?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m merely a messenger,” Ivan replied, nonchalant to Lovino’s dig, “If you could give this to Alfred, I’d be ever so thankful.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He watched as his friend accepted something across the threshold and slammed the door in their old acquaintance’s face. Lovino turned back to the duo on the sofa, his knuckles white where he gripped a cream-coloured envelope tight.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred felt sick.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’d expected they’d find him one day – he just hadn’t expected it would be any time soon. Wishful thinking.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter,” Lovino said and Alfred could hear his best friend’s resurfaced anger, “We’re moving anyway, right? Seriously, fuck them – all this time after their bullshit and they send Ivan fucking Braginski, was that supposed to scare us?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He is kinda scary,” Feliks mumbled into Alfred’s neck, “All that ‘merely the messenger’ bullshit.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lovino dropped himself aside the pair on the sofa, letting out a long breath before he asked, “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not you. Shut up, Feliks.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Been better,” Alfred replied, half certain Feliks was more worried than him. He took a deep breath, wanting to laugh at the way Feliks still clung to him, “But, like you said, we’re moving. It doesn’t matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s hand-written,” Lovino informed, still holding the envelope, “I don’t recall them ever being so personal.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Feliks took the envelope from Lovino, earning a glare from the younger. Alfred let them, not trusting his own fingers not to shake. He could feel his heart-rate quicken as Feliks opened the envelope and removed a folded letter – also hand-written. It was most likely from his mother. He held his breath as his eyes scanned the page, certain words almost screaming at him from the page. Cliché expected words like ‘I’m sorry’ and…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sick,” Feliks read aloud, their voice quiet, “I don’t want your forgiveness, I just want to know that you’re doing well – but, you always did, I know I shouldn’t worry-,”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Liks,” Lovino interrupted, “Stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you-,” Alfred swallowed the tremble in his voice, trying to think straight, “Can you get off me? Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Feliks slid from his lap instantly, more hesitant than Alfred had ever seen themm – the image was hardly comprehensible in his mind as he headed for his bedroom, closing the door behind him and sinking to the floor like he was 16 years old again. And he did feel 16 years old again, except he preferred this room to the walls he’d spent most of his life holed within.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He let himself breathe, let his eyes close as he tried to think rationally.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He knew this wasn’t his mom’s fault, but she hadn’t done anything to stop his father – hadn’t spoken out once when his father shunned him and took everything from him, yelled words at him that no teenager should have to listen to. Had arranged a fucking wedding with some girl he’d never even met before. Alfred hadn’t built a life for himself for it to be taken away by them all over again.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Except. It wasn’t like he didn’t care for them anymore; they were still... his parents.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He missed his mom. And she was sick. And Alfred had left her behind when he’d left everything else behind – he didn’t regret leaving, he was never going to agree to an arranged marriage and his life was never going to look up. They cared more for their firm than they did for him and Alfred had accepted that.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Finding it within himself to look back down at the card, he realised she’d written a personal number at the bottom of the page in her perfect scrawl. Everything about them had always been so perfectly arranged and he didn’t miss it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Before he could back out, he dialled the number.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As it rang, he found it difficult to breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” Her voice caused him to huff out a laugh of defeat, allowing his head to roll back against his door.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Alfred?” There was a pause, “I didn’t expect you to call, I didn’t expect… you read my letter?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I read it,” Alfred confirmed, unable to raise his voice any higher than the quiet tone, “You’re sick.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I regret that it took this much for you to even agree to calling me,” His mom began, but her voice was soft, “But, I couldn’t avoid the topic. Things are looking uncertain, as of yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uncertain?” He asked, his voice small.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I was taken to hospital seven months ago, we suspected it was something minor, but,” She laughed and Alfred wanted to bury himself in his bed and never return, “I’m getting old, Alfred.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred couldn’t think of words to reply.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want-,” She paused and Alfred realised she was coughing. His heart hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” He said, unsure what he was referring to.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to see you. Will you agree to a lunch with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Will he be there?” Alfred asked, not needing to specify.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He wants to see you, too, Alfred. You’re our son.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred had a thousand bitter retorts to that statement, but he knew it wasn’t the time. His hands were shaking, oxygen apparently refusing to enter his lungs despite his breathing.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“One lunch,” Alfred answered, “I’m doing this for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s all I ask. Thank you, Alfred.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The conversation remained short, yet Alfred was unsure what he’d done afterwards. The hours blended together as he allowed himself to think, rest, an attempt not to stress over the things he’d learned to let go of.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Feliks found him, hours later, wrapped cosily within a familiar cocoon of blankets. The annoyance prodded at Alfred until he sighed, unable to swat them away and accepted the other’s attempts to climb beneath the covers. Feliks wrapped themself around Alfred from behind, stealing one of his headphones without guilt.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lovino had already checked in on him (and Alfred had reminded the younger that he wasn’t, in fact, a child – and Lovino had smacked him upside the head). He’d left hot cocoa on the bedside table that Alfred had forgotten about; he appreciated the sentiment, though it failed to bring back his appetite.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Even in silence Alfred could feel Feliks’s mind brim over with questions.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It took them thirty seconds to break, “Lovino said you agreed to lunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred didn’t want to think about it, “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We could totally accompany you, you know,” Feliks tried, taking Alfred’s phone to skip to songs that weren’t sad, “Like, tag team dragging your dad. Also, dumbass, sad songs make you like, wicked sad.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Snorting, Alfred could picture the scene well – Lovino and Feliks were the best people he knew for insults, they were fluent. Lovino, all obscenities and snark, and Feliks with their sharp tongue and catty demeanor, they were truly an unlikely but dynamic duo.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate the thought, but, no.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Like, don’t get sad again,” Feliks blurted out, which in turn made Alfred sigh and turn to lay facing them on the bed, “I know I, like, wasn’t there when Lovino was, and I wish I was – but, you looked kinda lost when you first got here, y’know? But you like, totally picked yourself up and you made this life and made mega hot friends like me and-,”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Liks,” Alfred interrupted, because if he didn’t, the other wouldn’t have stopped, “Are you feeling okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this the part where you tell me I’m, like, not your hottest friend? I’m like, way hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred laughed, blowing Feliks’s hair away from their eyes, “I’m okay, really. Anxious as fuck and a little scared, but I’m okay. I have good, hot friends, and my life is in a good place.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is your dad gonna be there?” Feliks spoke again with a thoughtful look, they continued after Alfred’s nod, “Take Kiku. Nothing says ‘fuck you’ like bringing their enemy as a date to your lunch together.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Feliks Łukasiewicz,” Alfred responded, the positively awful idea sounded perfectly appealing, “You are a genius.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Feliks replied with some egotistical retort that Alfred ignored as he exhaled back into the comfort of his bed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, it was an objectively bad idea (it was Feliks’s idea after all), but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. He was going to the lunch to see his mom, his father’s presence and opinion was irrelevant. It only evened out the table – literally, his father on one side and Kiku on the other. So perhaps Kiku would leave the most imperfect impression, Alfred couldn’t help but admit the smallest, tiniest fact that the air was always easier to breathe when Kiku was around.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There was also the possibility that Kiku wouldn’t want to go with him – and, why would he? The lunch was a set up for disaster, having his father sat across from Honda Kiku.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Admittedly, Alfred was anticipating the next time he saw Kiku - the lawyer never left him waiting long, often calling late after work with a promise of making the younger's effort worth it. They'd developed a sort-of-maybe routine, in which Alfred really tried not to take their arrangement for granted and successfully managed to hold any feelings at bay.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>With the occasional blip, of course - as expected when one woke up with Kiku curled around oneself from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>'At bay' merely meant Alfred had learned to keep any physical reaction under control, despite the racing of his heart and the pooling of childish butterflies in his stomach when Kiku did something as simple as smile at him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was fine, really.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>In the meantime, the days to Alfred's lunch with his mom were counting down and Alfred was yet to even bring up the subject to Kiku - though he had grown familiar with Kiku's driver, a charismatic Cuban man by the name of Carlos with too much brain to be just a driver.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not just a driver," Carlos huffed when Alfred mentioned it in passing.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"You deliver our food on occasion," Alfred replied with fake-thought, "How could I forget?"</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"Listen, brat, you're lucky you're likeable."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks, I think."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not just a driver," Carlos clarified, pausing as he came to a rest at a red light, "And I'm pretty sure picking up booty calls is not something listed in my contract."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred didn't blush until he noticed the suggestive rise of Carlos's eyebrows in the mirror, "Where do I apply for a different driver?"</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, </span>
  <em>
    <span>corazón </span>
  </em>
  <span>," The driver replied, not sorry in the slightest, "I’m the best of the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever stop talking?"</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! I pick you up and drop you off when Mr Honda needs a piece of ass, don't disrespect me. I’m older than you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah," It was Alfred's turn to tease, "How was world war two?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not that old, you brat.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“My bad - it's just hard to tell."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"I hope you choke on his dick, to be honest."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred choked on air.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>No more than half an hour later, Alfred was watching the elevator doors slide open to reveal Kiku's apartment. A smell that had Alfred ditching his coat on the sofa wafted through the air from the kitchen, and Alfred was welcomed to the beautiful sight of the lawyer stood with his back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku's sleeves were rolled up and his tie missing, he was chopping vegetables Alfred probably didn't know the name of and adding them to a frying pan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred convinced himself it was his dick taking control when he wrapped his arms around the lawyer from behind, resting his chin on Kiku's shoulder as he watched his hands slicing the vegetables. Kiku didn't bat him away, merely hummed as Alfred stole the elder's body heat.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"Miss me?" Kiku asked, a little smug as he put the mushrooms into a separate pan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"You wish," Alfred retorted, forced to walk across the kitchen with his arms around Kiku as the lawyer retrieved something from the fridge.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The younger made a noise of protest as Kiku turned in his arms, a jar of something red in one hand and a knife in the other.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"This is a health hazard," Kiku started, cocking an eyebrow at Alfred, "You're a health hazard."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm insulted."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"Mhm, kiss me. My hands are full."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Gladly </span>
  </em>
  <span>, Alfred thought, leaning down to kiss Kiku's mouth. It was brief and Kiku broke away with a small smirk, intending to leave Alfred unsatisfied.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As Kiku placed out their food, Alfred retrieved glasses from an overhead cupboard and spent more time staring at alcohol labels than he'd like to admit. He finally opted for the scotch whiskey they'd shared the first night Alfred had been here.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred hesitated around the best approach to invite Kiku to a lunch wherein he most likely despised the other two attendees.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"I know it's not my place to ask favours of you," Alfred started after they were a few bites into their meal.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"But you're going to, anyway," Kiku replied, amused.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay," He readied himself with a sip of the scotch, "It's a little stupid."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not sure how, but my parents finally figured out where I lived - I mean, they probably paid someone to do some bordering unlawful digging, but," Alfred shrugged with one shoulder, trying to appear nonchalant, "My mom invited me to lunch."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"And you're going to go?"</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred nodded, "There are a few... complications. She wanted to see me. It's just an extreme downside that my father is also joining."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"You want me to accompany you," Kiku answered for him, picking up his own glass with that God-awful neutral facial expression.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"I know it's dumb. You were offended when you thought I agreed to this arrangement to spite them - I shouldn't have asked. I'll go with Lovino-."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"Alfred," The lawyer interrupted, seemingly unphased, "If you want me to accompany you, I will."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Alfred closed his mouth to stop himself from rambling.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I also have a favour to ask of you," Kiku continued after chewing, "There is a publicity charity event coming up, I'd much rather not sit through that alone."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"You want us both to die of boredom?"</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"And other things," Kiku hummed, "I'd rather enjoy showing you off."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred swallowed, pink spreading to his ears; it wasn't like he was going to say no, there was a slight tilt to Kiku's lips that told Alfred the lawyer already had plans for that night. He almost shuddered from where he sat across the dinner table. Kiku smirked, knowingly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to buy you a tux. My tailor would most likely enjoy figuring out the best way to fit a tux along your legs.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you have a personal tailor,” was all Alfred chose to acknowledge.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s eyebrow quirked, “Is that a yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“My own personal tux,” Alfred answered, though the thought of such an event was mildly nerve-inducing, “How could I refuse?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s sorted, then. I’ll take you to see Erzsébet tomorrow,” The lawyer informed, taking Alfred’s mostly-eaten plate to stack it atop his own, “When is the date of our lunch?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Um,” Alfred bit his lip, “Saturday?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The lawyer stared at him, “Saturday as in the day after tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Um,” He repeated, feelingly slightly sheepish, “Maybe.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku set his empty glass down as he continued to stare at Alfred, “And when did you agree to this lunch?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“…Last week.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It took you this long to ask,” Kiku stated, no question involved.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>In retrospect, Alfred probably should have brought the lunch up to Kiku the moment he’d opted to include the lawyer – Kiku was evidently busier than anyone Alfred knew and now he felt mildly stupid for not thinking ahead. He’d been avoiding it, perhaps not purposefully, but the words ‘dangerously domestic’ were becoming common place in his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t sure you’d want to waste your time,” He replied after a moment’s pause.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time in Alfred’s memory, Kiku appeared slightly exasperated, “You are an idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That is offensive and uncalled for,” Alfred wasn’t even slightly phased, he rather enjoyed watching Kiku fail to mask his neutral face.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And yet I’m still accompanying you to this lunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And I will be eternally grateful,” Alfred responded, realising the implication behind his words only after Kiku’s lips twitched into a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I assume lunch will be somewhere nice,” Kiku moved their plates to the kitchen as he spoke, “I want to buy a suit for this, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Um. Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A good impression,” The lawyer replied easily, leaning against one of the kitchen countertops, “You’re living wonderfully without them."</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>☆</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>One of the surprisingly positives of spending time at Kiku’s apartment was that they had an apparent productive effect on each other. Alfred was sat with his back against the windows with his favourite view as Kiku remained perched on the sofa, both surrounded with pages of work and silence.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So, maybe Alfred preferred this view; Kiku with his round glasses and pretty fingers tapping occasionally across the keys of his Mac. Maybe the sight of the lawyer so immersed in his own world that everything else appeared seemingly irrelevant aided the glide of Alfred’s pen across his papers as his guitar sat heavy in his lap. Kiku had said he didn’t mind the pieced together beginnings of Alfred’s work – had moved temporarily from his office to steal glances at Alfred when he thought the younger wasn’t paying attention.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Except, Alfred was paying attention – because he’d been doing the same, had been taking small breaks in his compositions to watch Kiku’s eyes glide over words Alfred probably wouldn’t understand.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How is apartment hunting?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred blinked, mind focusing back into the room like a cliché camera lens, “Hardly hunting – we found a nice place up to Lovino Standards.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku huffed a tired laugh and Alfred was pretty fucking sure he just felt his heart melt into his ribs.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How is Lovino?” The lawyer asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You heard?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m rather observant,” Kiku answered, and then cracked a small smile, “But Antonio spills anything if you ask the right questions.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Lovino’s… okay, ish? I think,” Alfred set his guitar aside, collecting the sheet music sprawled in the floor space around him, “How’s Antonio?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He missed Antonio a small amount – how could he not when the man was like a puppy?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s okay. I suppose they’ll figure it out in their own ways.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope it’s soon,” Alfred muttered, setting the sheet music aside that wasn’t meant to be played by guitar, “Lovino has no one else to focus his attention on. I’m flattered but it’s overwhelming and I swear I’m gaining weight by the second. He doesn’t like to eat alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku laughed again – except Alfred was semi-serious. Their freezer had more ice cream than Alfred had even seen in a store freezer before. Feliks hadn’t been complaining.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you said you liked working with a view,” Kiku mentioned, watching as Alfred unfolded his legs.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I prefer this view.” Alfred was blushing before he even said the words.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The lawyer hummed in reply, his eyes moving from Alfred to the floor to ceiling windows in thought. Alfred could pinpoint the moment the idea hit Kiku’s mind. Kiku’s eyes flitted back to Alfred’s and the younger swallowed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And that’s how Alfred found himself with his face pressed against the glass, breath painting the window in steam as he struggled to keep quiet. Kiku was stretching him slowly, massaging his ass with one hand and pumping his fingers in a steady rhythm with the other. At least it was one-way glass.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s the view, baby boy?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Alfred replied oh-so literately, “It’s-god. It’s nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” Kiku curled his fingers, pressing along Alfred’s walls until the younger practically bucked into the glass, “Not the answer I’m looking for.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s pretty,” Alfred all but choked out, “The stars, they’re-shit, Kiku, please fuck me already.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not until you answer my question, Kitten,” He was pressing against Alfred’s prostate again and Alfred’s legs threatened to buckle.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I-,” His palm was sweaty against the window as he tried to focus, “I like it. It’s-fuck. It makes me feel calm.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku added a finger, Alfred breathed out a groan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why does it make you feel calm?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, Kiku,” Alfred panted, “Please-.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred was cut off when Kiku’s hand connected with the skin of his ass and Alfred yelled out, the window holding him up as the brief sting went straight to his dick. He clenched around Kiku’s fingers – a trembling mess.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck-,”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Smack.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Correct me if I’m wrong, angel,” Kiku’s tone was low, his mouth murmuring into the shell of Alfred’s ear, “I gagged you the last time you were unable to control that pretty mouth. Do we need to do that again?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Words, baby boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He groaned against the window, “No, Mr Honda.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, why is it calm?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Because it-,” Fuck, Alfred groaned internally, “It’s like the world continues to spin, regardless-,” Thrust, “-of whether I do, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred deserved an award for being so literate with three fingers in his ass.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Deeming the answer appropriate, Kiku slid his fingers from Alfred and spread his legs to lower his ass – he nudged the head of his cock into Alfred, allowing a second of breathing before sinking to the hilt. His hips were pressed against Alfred’s ass and Alfred keened, the window a mess where he panted hard against the cool glass.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Never had Alfred expected the slide of his cock against glass to feel so good.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s hips fucked up into Alfred and the younger’s pleas turned into broken moans, the pace so quick he felt like he couldn’t breathe – and it probably shouldn’t have, but the sensation brought Alfred carefully close to the edge as he attempted to rock his hips back into Kiku.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Enjoying the view now, Kitten?” Kiku moved one of his hands from Alfred’s hips to thread through his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“God, yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When Kiku gripped his hair, pulling his head back and exposing his neck to the air, his oxygen felt trapped in his throat. Kiku’s low groan sounded distinctly akin to a growl, the lawyer’s teeth pulling on his ear lobe with a sharp nip that almost had Alfred coming across the window.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet you look so good like this, baby boy,” Kiku murmured, his lips travelling to Alfred’s neck, “So needy, so on edge, so ready to come for me. God, imagine how beautiful you’d look if anyone could see you through this glass, your legs spread so fucking nicely for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Kiku,” Alfred all but sobbed, crying out louder as he felt Kiku mark a rather possessive spot upon his neck, “I’m-god, I’m close.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He almost cried in relief when Kiku’s hand wrapped around his cock, his fist pumping Alfred in time with every thrust – three, maybe four strokes later and the coil tightening Alfred’s gut snapped loose and his mouth dropped open in a silent moan, pleasure crashing into him as he clenched around Kiku and spilled across the window.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku was murmuring praises into his ear as he fucked into him harder and Alfred cried out in over-sensitivity, Kiku’s hand still around his cock causing his hips to jerk without his control. With a groan muffled by Alfred’s skin, Kiku’s thrusts fell out of rhythm and he came, shuddering around Alfred with a grip so hard Alfred was sure his hip would bruise.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The lawyer’s forehead lowered against Alfred’s sweaty shoulder as he caught his breath, chest rising and falling rapidly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>A glance down showed Alfred the mess he’d made across the window, his chest burning red with a blush that had Kiku smirking.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Go shower,” Kiku ordered quietly, pressing kiss to Alfred’s shoulder, “I’ll join you after I’ve cleaned this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred was thankful – he’d really rather avoid Kiku’s cleaner finding out Kiku had fucked him against the living room window. And he’d loved it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku pulled him in for a slower, gentler kiss before pushing him towards the shower.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His chest felt a little tight.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>☆</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred would have preferred his first meeting with Kiku’s tailor slash stylist to be less suggestive. The make-up he’d attempted to use that morning did a poor job of hiding Kiku’s marks along his lower neck – any other time, he wouldn’t have minded, but man, Erzsébet Héderváry did not care for discretion.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Your legs are too long,” Erzsébet muttered, five minutes into taking the appropriate measurements.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Um,” Alfred wasn’t sure how to reply and Kiku only watched in amusement, “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Erzsébet stood up, sweeping her long, curly brown hair over her shoulder, “I see why he likes them.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He felt his ears burn, looking away from Kiku to Erzsébet, “Likes what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Your legs,” Erzsébet deadpanned.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You like my legs?” Alfred asked, an attempt at a joke.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I might.” Kiku was serious and Alfred had to bite the inside of his lip to not shudder beneath the lawyer’s stare.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Erzsébet snorted, lifting one of Alfred’s arms up to measure, “This is a charity event, right? Something simple will look good – though I suspect you’ll look hot regardless.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku hummed in agreement and Alfred was finding it increasingly difficult to stand still.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“As for the angsty parental lunch we discussed, hmm,” The stylist circled him in thought, a finger on her chin, “Are you thinking classy, or something more ‘rebelled’?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred managed to stutter out an ‘um’ that had Erzsébet rolling her eyes, glancing across the room to Kiku.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A matching blazer to the one I usually wear for publicity dinners,” Kiku replied, leaning against the doorway to the dressing room, “And perhaps a turtleneck to hide most of those.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They both looked to Alfred for clarification, who nodded dumbly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Erzsébet clapped her hands together, crossing the room to type out notes onto a tablet, “Nothing quite screams ‘I’m gay’ at homophobic parents than matching blazers and designer turtlenecks.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing screams ‘I’m gay’ like bringing a fake not-boyfriend to their lunch,” Alfred muttered in response.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The stylist laughed, loud and genuine, as she placed her tablet aside. Somehow, that was how Alfred had won over the stylist; Erzsébet had instantly warmed up to him, throwing the odd teasing comment into their conversations as she glanced knowingly between her two clients.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I doubt you’ll struggle with your fake not-boyfriend rendezvous,” Erzsébet commented offhandedly when Kiku left the room to take a phone call.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Alfred glanced up, a little unprepared.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, please. It’s not gonna be hard to ‘fake’ – I’m not an idiot, Alfred Jones. You two were practically eye-fucking over my shoulder.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Um,” He said for the hundredth time that day, his blush deepening in colour when Kiku slid back into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Erzsébet rolled her eyes again, holding out two materials for Alfred to choose from. She returned a second later with her tape measure, muttering something about ‘dumb long legs’ as she took another measurement from Alfred’s thighs.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I assume they’ll be done by tomorrow morning,” Kiku began, sliding his phone back into the inside pocket of his suit.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The stylist made a semi-hostile sounding noise, shooting his employer a glare, “You really do test my limits, Kim.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Only because I know you’re capable,” Kiku replied easily, “And my favourite tailor. Will they be done by tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure do know how to flatter a girl,” Erzsébet muttered, sounding anything but flattered, “Drop by in the morning, I’ll have lunch attire prepared. When is the charity event?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Next Friday.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Erzsébet straightened up, handing Alfred back his jacket, “I want an invite.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred took his jacket silently, listening to the conversation bounce between the pair like an unparalleled tennis game.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Already done,” Kiku held out a blank white envelope to the stylist, “Same table as Secretary Manon. I heard you’ve been trying to sweeten her up, as of late.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Purely business,” Erzsébet remarked, taking the envelope with a small smile, “I suspect I don’t have to tell you this, but do look after Alfred. I rather like him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see ourselves out. Thank you, Erzsébet.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The morning brought nerves.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’d spent another night at Kiku’s, though he’d fallen asleep before the lawyer had returned home from work – he’d been woken briefly by Kiku climbing into bed, hushing Alfred with complimentary murmurs and pulling the younger to tuck into his side. Yet somehow, by the time his alarm pulled him from sleep like cold water to the face, Kiku was already elsewhere.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred pushed himself up, allowing his head to roll from shoulder to shoulder as he stretched – the actions did nothing to relax how tense he felt. It was a sickening feeling, permanent like bile in the back of his throat and ever so present with each beat of his heart. He was nervous about feeling nervous, he didn’t want to move; instead, he huffed, rubbing a hand over his face swollen with sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’d be meeting them today. For the first time in fucking years. Where he felt resigned longing to see his mom again, he felt thick dread in regards to his father – and although it shouldn’t be, although Alfred was wordlessly aware how dangerous it was, he was comforted by the thought of Kiku. Comforted by, comfortable with, soothed by… Alfred Jones, he thought, what the fuck are you doing?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” The contented voice drew from the doorway, “Good morning, Al.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The younger smiled, though the action was strained as his eyes fell to the clothes in Kiku’s hands, “You already picked them up?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked Carlos to,” Kiku answered, holding the clothes hangers to Alfred, “Breakfast?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred shook his head, his stomach already filled with apprehension as though he’d swallowed lead. He accepted the clothes, standing to hang them in Kiku’s wardrobe before he moved to the bathroom. Kiku watched him silently and though his face was familiarly blank, the crinkles of his eyes were soft. He merely leaned against the bathroom door as Alfred brushed his teeth and washed his face.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The younger raised an eyebrow at Kiku via the mirror.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I distracting you?” Kiku asked, not remotely apologetic.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“When are you not distracting?” Alfred fired back, patting his face dry with a towel.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe that’s my line,” The lawyer replied, blatantly eyeing Alfred’s bare legs, “You’ve taken a liking to my clothes, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They smell like you, is what Alfred stopped himself from saying like a creep. Instead, he deposited his toothbrush in the holder beside Kiku’s. Dangerously domestic. It was apparent his mind was not allowing him the time to relax, the seconds practically draining alongside the toothpaste as he looked back to Kiku.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The lawyer looked at him in consideration for a moment, Alfred could only stare back as Kiku moved into the bathroom and lifted a hand to tilt Alfred’s face down. The kiss was not unlike the few before, the gentleness in Kiku’s actions becoming commonplace easier than Alfred would’ve liked – and yet, he was helpless against it, he neglected to hesitate once as Kiku kissed him and set fire to the butterflies lining his gut.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed back as Kiku’s other hand moved to his neck, the warmth seemed to drain through him and took with it Alfred’s tension. Alfred sighed into the kiss, his body content and the dread in his chest simmering to resignation. Today would happen, regardless of whether he was prepared or not.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe,” Kiku started after a moment of quiet breathing, his thumb following the length of Alfred’s lip to remove any excess saliva, “That you will be fine. I believe you will handle today perfectly, regardless of how difficult it may be. You’ve come so far on your own, built yourself a perfectly stable life from quite literally nothing. One lunch will not take any of that from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I had Lovino,” Alfred exhaled, glancing away from Kiku’s eyes despite their close distance, “And then I had Feliks and Lovino.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And now you have me,” Kiku hadn’t even hesitated, the words falling from his lips like it was easy.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred glanced back to him in barely-concealed shock, his breath hitching at how sincere the lawyer sounded.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He probably meant it in a way different from how Alfred felt it, but that didn’t stop the blush from Alfred’s cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku laughed, kissing him once more before withdrawing entirely, “Get dressed, I’ll make your gross hot cocoa.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The nerves, as expected, merely increased with time. Their lunch was set for 11.30 in a restaurant Alfred briefly remembered – not quite roof-top, but had a sitting area outside that looked over the city when the weather was nice. Carlos had been quiet as he drove, somehow the car’s atmosphere reflecting the storm in Alfred’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>If it was a storm, he supposed Kiku played the anchor to shoreline. He hated this mess. Hated that somehow he’d dragged Kiku into it, too.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until their elevator journey up that he blurted as much.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to do this,” Alfred was thankful they were the only two in the glamourous elevator, Kiku quirked his eyebrow instead of replying, “This is my mess and you shouldn’t have to-, um, sit through it? It’s probably going to be messy and embarrassing and god I shouldn’t have even suggested it-.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Alfred,” Kiku interrupted, forcing the younger to look at him, “I offered to accompany you. You’re nervous, I understand that, but I’m aware of what I’m walking into.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred swallowed, glancing up to see they were at floor 27. Another 20 to go.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Al, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Kiku murmured, brushing a thumb over Alfred’s cheek as he cupped his face, “Do you want me there?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The younger hesitated, “Only if you want to be there.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Regardless of that, do you want me to be there?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>14 floors to go.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Alfred replied in honesty, “It gives me the upper hand.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’m happy to accompany you,” Kiku replied, his smile genuine, “I also assume you invited me with a slight intention of pissing your father off, hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred had the decency to appear sheepish, “But, that’s not the only reason!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>6 floors.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I enjoy your company,” Alfred admitted, though he turned away from the lawyer to face the doors as he continued, “I thought this would be easier with you there.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I see,” Kiku returned, squeezing Alfred’s hand once in reassurance.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Ding.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku led him through the elevator and to a desk that sparked familiarity within his mind. There was a woman at the desk, her smile polite as she informed Kiku that their lunch associates had already arrived – Alfred felt the blood drain from his face, hand reaching out to grasp Kiku’s forearm tightly to stop him from continuing forward.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Alfred,” Kiku murmured, pulling Alfred’s hand gently from his arm, “Be nonchalant, even if it’s not genuine. It’ll be difficult, but trust me when I say this will be easier if you pretend you don’t care. It will look better; they’ll see how perfectly capable you are without them. That is what you want, is it not?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred nodded, though he still didn’t move.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then that is what you do,” Kiku continued, “Alfred Jones, cocky musician. You’re confident, don’t let that go now. Fake it if you must, believe me when I say I have experience with this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Beyond those doors is a room full of snakes, I remember it,” He laughed, albeit bitterly, “Gossiping businessmen and celebrities on publicity dates with journalists.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku hummed in agreement, “Then we must be slippery, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The lawyer left no time for argument, tilting his head in thanks to the man who offered to show them to their table. Alfred followed silently, his tongue heavy in his mouth as the anticipation gripped his stomach with sharpened claws. It felt a little difficult to breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr and Mrs Jones,” Kiku greeted, except his voice was cold, professional. Kiku.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His parents stood, looking the same, if not slightly aged. His father had the same stubborn set of lips, his gaze as hard as Alfred remembered it. His mom, on the hand, appeared frailer than he remembered – thinner, too, but her eyes were soft and hesitated only for a moment as she recognised Kiku.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He supposed the hardest part was when she swept him into a hug, murmuring that they had much to discuss. Alfred agreed, though regretted it had to be done in the presence of his father.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr Honda,” Any disdain his father may have had was masked by the surprise in his voice, though his tone was quieter when his eyes landed on his son, “Alfred.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred tipped his head in recognition, though chose not to address his father with words. Lovino was right, he owed the man naught.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They ordered their drinks in an awkward silence, his father motioning for the two younger to order their starters before doing the same for himself and his wife. Alfred swallowed into the silence, endlessly thankful when Kiku’s hand found its way to Alfred’s thigh beneath the cover of the table.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you find me?” Alfred asked after another beat of uncomfortable silence.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked Ivan to look into the situation a few months ago,” His father answered, “I applaud his abilities.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred almost winced – his mother had fallen ill a few months ago.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It was legal, then,” Alfred commented, taking a sip of his drink.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it was legal,” His father snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not here to argue,” His mom was the one to reply, “I understand what we did was wrong, and I’m not asking you to forgive me, Alfred. I just wanted to see you, again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred noted the universal ‘I’, and not ‘we’.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you?” He asked his mom, hating how clueless he felt.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay,” She said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “But, as these things tend to be, it is only downhill from here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He opted to ignore the questioning rise of Kiku’s eyebrow – he’d neglected to inform the lawyer, somehow wanting to keep the situation as minimal as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How have you been?” His mother returned.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Alfred replied with an air of honesty, “Happier.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t find satisfaction in the way his mom flinched slightly. He hadn’t meant it bitingly, only as an honest statement.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing, now?” His father asked, though gave no indication as to what he was referring to.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Work, mostly,” Alfred returned, voice attempting civility, “I’m in the music industry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His father scoffed, “And you’re happy working for… what? Inconsistent paychecks?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” He answered, taking heed of Kiku’s advice of nonchalance.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You could always return to law school,” His father amended, and Alfred realised where this was going with a sigh, “You wouldn’t be the only one to take a year or two from education. You were smart enough, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And then, what? Work doing something I hate?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re our son,” His mom clarified, though she already looked tired of the conversation, “There will always be an executive seat for you, if you wished to take it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever considered that I hate the industry because of the way you shoved it down my throat?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever considered your mother’s health may be deteriorating quicker due to the stress you imposed on us both?” His father asked, and his mom turned to glare at him before he’d even finished his sentence.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do not start this,” His mom started, clearly having heard it before.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not fair,” Alfred managed, though he was fighting to maintain his calm, “I hadn’t wanted to leave, at first, but what choice had I? You wanted me to marry some stranger so no one would think your son is a fag.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, please,” His father all but spat, “You’ve never liked hard work, you’re lazy – you used that marriage as an excuse.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred couldn't read the expression on Kiku's face.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They retorted back to silence as the waiter appeared with their food, refilling their glasses without prompting. His mom stuck to water and Alfred managed to give her a small, reassuring smile.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, mom,” He started, not even glancing to his father, “But, I won’t be returning to law school.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled at him in understanding and that was enough for him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you… dating him?” His father questioned, glancing to Kiku for a small moment.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Polite as ever,” Kiku responded, his replies few and far between, “Is that a problem?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this your childish way at getting back at us?” His father sneered, ignoring Kiku.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t even aware who he was when-,”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But his father cut him off, irritated, “And to think we are the ones who need forgiving.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You are,” Kiku remarked, an aura of neutrality surrounding him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps your mother is wrong, we couldn’t put a child in an exec seat.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Somehow, I really don’t fucking care,” Alfred fumed, and Kiku tightened his grip on his thigh in warning, “I don’t want anything from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Even if he were to choose a route in law,” Kiku began, swirling the ice in his glass for a moment before meeting Alfred’s father’s eyes with a smile, “I would happily grant Alfred a place in my firm. Our annual revenues have always been higher.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred suspected his father saw red in that moment.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How dare you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How dare I what, Mr Jones?” Kiku inquired, placing his glass down and holding the elder man’s glare, “I was invited to this lunch. I may not be a guest, but I’m not willing to sit here silently and listen to you insult the man I love.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His father blanched. Alfred suspected he blanched too, his heart rate tripling as he fought to keep his gaze on the table. Fake dating Honda Kiku was a bad fucking idea, a really really bad fucking idea. He swallowed, his anger dissipating a small amount as Kiku rubbed his thumb in smoothing circles on Alfred’s leg.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was so, so fucked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The weeks in which they’d known each other was not enough to fall in love, Alfred knew that, but hearing that word on Kiku’s tongue directed at him of all people… Alfred didn’t even want to indulge himself by thinking about it, he wanted to forget about it and move on, to ignore the tightening of his chest each and every time he glanced at the other man.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So, Alfred may have been remotely into his sugar daddy. Not just sexually.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His mom considered him with a curious look as they ate, she wasn’t the most accepting person considering his situation, but she wasn’t his father.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred hadn’t had an appetite all day, but now he just... felt sick. And tired. He dropped a hand under the table to lace his fingers with Kiku’s, squeezing the lawyer’s hand with fingers that trembled. Despite his best efforts to feel otherwise, it was all too familiar – he almost felt like a child again, the situation was bullshit but now he didn’t have to put up with any of it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe if you’d shown me the same love and effort you gave to your work,” Alfred said into the silence, “I would be less of a mess.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His mom winced.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku didn’t hesitate to reply, shooting Alfred a sharp look, “You are not a mess, Alfred.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His father merely laughed bitterly, “Love? You think love is what paid for your college tuition?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That is where you failed him,” Kiku stated, more stern than Alfred had ever heard him, “It’s as simple as that, yet you fail to see it. It has been a nice opportunity to meet you outside of the courtroom, Mrs Jones, though I cannot say the same for your husband.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred saw the tell-tale signs that his father was ready to explode, but Kiku remained so calm that any reaction from his father would cost him his pride. God forbid that.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You too, Mr Honda,” His mom returned, her smile small as she stood to hug Alfred, “I hope to see you again, soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded within his mom’s grip, “Call me if you… If you need anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I will. Thank you for coming, both of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku nodded, before pulling out Alfred’s chair and aiding him with his jacket.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred managed to hold himself together until they were behind the security of the elevator doors, before sagging against Kiku uselessly. Kiku didn’t complain, wrapping an arm around his waist as Alfred felt more than just physically exhausted. It was like Kiku had known Alfred was mere seconds from snapping, his body still tense as they exited the grand building.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You knew I needed out,” Alfred said as they climbed into the car, “Thank you, Kiku.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you, I’m observant,” Kiku responded, “Though you did grip my hand rather hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku waved away his apology as Carlos started the engine, “Your father is insufferable.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m aware,” Alfred retorted, pushing a hand through his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Kiku started, “You didn’t owe them anything up there – you didn’t even need to attend, but you did. Everything went fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He supposed it was inevitable that everything he’d managed to force away would find its way back to him in the form of brief memories. It was hard to forget, the things he’d felt, the way he’d been so willing at one point to roll over and hand over his life to a man who was disgusted by him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t speak again until Kiku walked him to his door.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Kiku, I just… Thank you,” Alfred started, gnawing on his bottom lip for a moment, “You didn’t have to stand up for me like that, we aren’t… Um. I’m thankful, I mean it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kiku hummed, straightening Alfred’s collar, “I know. In the future, you shouldn’t hesitate to ask for something. You’re an idiot, but you’re not stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Um. Thank you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You handled yourself well, back there,” Kiku continued, swiping off dust from Alfred’s blazer that didn’t exist, “It takes a lot to do something like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Alfred nodded and the lawyer’s hand returned to his face for the third time that day. He used his thumb to tug Alfred’s bottom lip out of the grip of his teeth, smiling in a way Alfred hadn’t the slightest idea how to interpret. Kiku didn’t kiss him, but he didn’t need to, not with the look that he gave the younger. Kiku chuckled, and Alfred felt his insides melt regardless.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He remained standing there for a few further moments, staring after Kiku with a pang of something akin to longing in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It had been an odd day.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That was gay,” Feliks greeted when he finally let himself into the apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Get out of my house, Feliks.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for all your sweet comments! Reading them makes my whole day. my tumblr is @heta feel free to shoot me an anon or something!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>What's this? I'm double posting? omg.. 😳😳but I uhhh maybe pulled an all nighter to finish this chapter because I was on a roll. Plus, I've been super inconsistent with updates to boom, two chapters in one day! I hope you enjoy!</p><p>My tumblr is @heta feel free to shoot me an anon or something!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Productivity came to Alfred in random spurs of spurts of energy, he could never plan it nor anticipate it – frequently, it was inconvenient, for time often melted together and minutes became hours and Alfred was once again unaware of the world around him. It was easier for him to lose himself in his work when there were things in his mind he would rather avoid, except, time was a very real, very unavoidable thing and Alfred certainly did not have moments to spare when he had a tux fitting with a rather demanding tailor in fifteen minutes… and he was still dressed in the clothes he had slept in.</p><p> </p><p>In his defence, they’d moved apartments only the day prior and Alfred had found little time to work on his music – which was far more important now than before, considering he’d finally quit his low-paying job at the local theatre and opted to begin building his portfolio for commissions.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred was happy, and if that happiness had roots trailing back to a certain lawyer… well, he wouldn’t deny that things were good.</p><p> </p><p>His previous decision to neglect time landed him in Feliks’ passenger seat, brushing his teeth and hoping Erzsébet wouldn’t call him out for looking an utter mess. The only downside to bribing Liks to drive him was that Lovino also found it necessary to tag along – they both apparently had reason to gawk at his stylist.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe that you, Alfred Jones, of all people, are  totally playing arm candy for Honda fucking Kiku at a gala event,” Feliks complained, their fingers drumming along the steering wheel, “There’s like, gonna be people there worth more money than I will ever see in, like my whole life.”</p><p> </p><p>“Liks, you're wearing $29,000 Cartier earrings as casual jewellery,” Lovino rolled his eyes from the backseat, “And anyway, I thought you had eyes on the president of that tech giant.”</p><p> </p><p>“These were totally a gift,” Feliks clarified, as though it made them seem any poorer and reached up to brush their fingers against the expensive jewellery. “Also, Toris is the president's <em> son </em>and he, like, isn’t back until tomorrow night."</p><p> </p><p>“A real tragedy,” Alfred replied, sinking back into his seat to glance at Lovino in the mirror, “What about ‘Tonio?”</p><p> </p><p>Lovino winced and Alfred expected nothing more – the younger had been a mix between sulky and aggravated as of late, more than normal. The issue could have been resolved, in Alfred’s opinion, if Lovino wasn’t so emotionally stubborn and Antonio wasn’t such a gentleman, leaving Lovino to give him space. Lovino didn’t want space, Lovino wanted Antonio.</p><p> </p><p>“That sucks,” Feliks sighed, and Lovino breathed out in agreement.</p><p> </p><p>The brief lapse of silence within the car was cut off by the standard bell ringtone of Alfred’s phone, who winced as Erzsébet’s name flashed up on his screen.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, I’m running la-,”</p><p> </p><p>“Alfred Jones!” Alfred had to move the phone away from his ear as Erzsébet’s raised voice blared through the speaker, “Do you think I have time to sit around and wait for your telephone pole ass to show up on goddamn time? Do you even know how fuckin’ HIGH in demand I am, you little-,” There was a pause, in which someone interrupted in the background, “Yes, the teal, no, don’t you dare touch that orange, god fucking help me I will fire you right now, Andrei.” He heard whom he assumed was Andrei argue back.</p><p> </p><p>“So aggressive,” Alfred muttered, undoing his seatbelt as he opened the car door, “I’m here, I’m here.”</p><p> </p><p>His instincts told him to hang up before Erzsébet had time to respond.</p><p> </p><p>Lovino and Feliks trailed after him, peeking curiously at everything as Alfred took a deep breath and made his way over to where Erzsébet and some strawberry blond guy, Andrei, were still bickering.</p><p> </p><p>“Um,” Alfred announced, nodding to himself when Erzsébet glared at him and pointed at the changing room for Alfred to get changed.</p><p> </p><p>The tux-fitting was fine, as expected, Erzsébet’s skills somehow untouchable. The tux looked good, (“Of course it looks good, I’m not an idiot,” Erzsébet had snapped and Feliks had snorted). In his opinion, the tux looked like every other tux he’d ever seen or worn, except it felt different – it felt like money, it fit perfectly like money and Alfred didn’t even want to know how much (or why) Kiku was paying for it. </p><p> </p><p>Erzsébet was surprisingly fond of Feliks-- they'd already started calling her Erzsi-- the thought not settling well within Alfred’s mind. As he dressed himself and checked his phone for the time. A single text message littered his lockscreen.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[Mr Honda]</b>
</p><p> &gt; Did you like the tux? I heard from Erzsébet, but I’d much rather hear from you.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred hated the way his heart felt ten times lighter in response.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[sent]</b>
</p><p> </p><p>surprisingly, im not a tux-wearing expert. you should listen to Erzsébet &lt;</p><p> </p><p>it’s almost like she’s paid to give fashion advice &lt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[received]</b>
</p><p> </p><p>&gt; Of course. Perhaps I was just curious to see if you’d try to impress me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[sent]</b>
</p><p> </p><p>maybe you should let me try impress you some other way &lt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[received]</b>
</p><p> </p><p>&gt; Tonight.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred let out a low breath, glancing up to see Erzsébet showing Feliks something on her tablet. He narrowed his eyes, before looking back down to his phone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[sent]</b>
</p><p> </p><p>will i need spare clothes? &lt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[received]</b>
</p><p> </p><p>&gt; No. I prefer seeing you in mine.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He locked his phone, sliding it into his pocket before he joined the others. So, perhaps his mouth had gone dry, all because of a damn text message. If he hadn’t already felt in too deep, he was most certainly beginning to feel it now.</p><p> </p><p>The trio opted to spend the rest of their morning shopping – it was Lovino’s opinion that they needed new furniture to complement their new apartment and Alfred wasn’t about to complain. It was different; he had money to spare, money to buy Feliks’s annoying puppy eyes whatever shit they'd decided they needed when they were window shopping. Sure, Feliks and Lovino had always had his back where money was concerned, but it felt good to finally buy them things too.</p><p> </p><p>The best thing about it was the fact he didn’t feel remotely guilty about where the money had come from.</p><p> </p><p>Three days after the preferably-forgotten lunch with his parents, he’d agreed to a distinctly more private lunch with his mom – as expected, it had been awkward, but it hadn’t been tense and Alfred appreciated that. He hadn’t wanted to lie, but it was expected that his mother would have questions after Kiku’s ‘the man I love’ incident. The memory was slightly cringe-worthy, the look on his father’s face less so. He’d happily live through the moment ten times over just to watch the storm of expressions tear their way across his father’s face.</p><p> </p><p>Years of resentment stemmed from a deep grave full of awful memories had that effect on a person.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred was over it. Ish.</p><p> </p><p>There was one question his mother had that she’d been most adamant about – a question that had caused her guilt over the years and though Alfred wasn’t sure he was able to forget the way she’d stood aside and done nothing for most of his life, he was appreciative.</p><p> </p><p>The question was simple: are you happy?</p><p> </p><p>Alfred could answer more honestly than he’d ever done before: Kiku made him happy.</p><p> </p><p>His happiness wasn’t dependent on the lawyer, but it was undeniable that he felt like he could just breathe when the other was around. A part of him knew it was too late to go back, to turn a cold shoulder to the pooling of butterflies swimming through his stomach when Kiku gave him a smile he knew was reserved solely for him. He knew it was too late to swallow the thought that he’d much rather live in a world in which he got to wake up with Kiku’s arms curled around him, the lawyer’s fingers tracing a pattern across his bare hip.</p><p> </p><p>But even so, there was a selfish part of Alfred screaming at him to take everything that was offered, because although it may not last forever, it was lasting for the moment. For a moment. And Alfred didn’t want to let it slip through his fingers. Not in the slightest.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It felt a little like walking across time-bombs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alfred had asked questions of his own. Asked about old friends, about her health… If it was terminal. It was. The lunch had been nice, despite the constant underlying heaviness of the atmosphere.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>☽ ☾</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He had known it was a bad idea the moment he’d stepped into the elevator, palms sweating as other lawyers filed into the space with him. Sure, the idea of bringing Kiku lunch had seemed like a good idea an hour ago when his stomach was demanding food, but the air was stifling. </p><p> </p><p>Alfred definitely looked out of place. He wasn't exactly thinking, his mind more focused on the food and thought of having lunch with Kiku than his outfit. Maybe, just maybe, he should have put on more professional pants than these fitted grey sweats.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku was on the top floor, his personal office on the same floor as the seniority of his firm. Alfred was already regretting the decision, especially when the elevator doors slid open to reveal the top floor and the silence flooded his ears.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred remained the last one standing in the elevator, the other employees stepping out at the lower floors. The fact that Kiku was a partner of the firm was not helping him feel less intimidated.</p><p> </p><p>The corridor in front of him was small, black carpets intimidatingly dark akin to the clean white walls. Beyond the corridor, however, was a collection of bullpens filled with the soft clatter of keyboards and the occasional shuffle of papers. Most people were working in separate rooms, cut off from Alfred via glass walls. So perhaps he felt a little intimidated, the discomfort only growing as he reached a desk manned by a singular secretary.</p><p> </p><p>His hands tightened on the plastic bag containing Kiku's favourite take-out when the secretary glanced up. If there was any issue, he'd just use the same lines he'd thrown around to security downstairs…hi, I’m Alfred Jones of Jones International, I have a private meeting with Mr Honda on some rather pressing matters. You wouldn’t want to be responsible for delaying such an urgency, correct?</p><p> </p><p>He would have made a good lawyer.</p><p> </p><p>“I'm here to see Mr Honda,” Alfred said to the secretary who merely quirked an eyebrow at him, “If you could notify him I’ve arrived, I'd be thankful.”</p><p> </p><p>The amusement remained as the woman picked up a phone, muttering into the receiver with a foreign accent as Alfred allowed his eyes to roam across the walls and the plaques that decorated them.</p><p> </p><p>Ni-Chu. No motto, no bullshit inspiring quote to follow, just basic block letters and framed honours and achievements. Alfred appreciated the change from his parent’s firm – appreciated the modest minimalism.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re free to go through,” The secretary announced, placing the phone back down and returning to the screen as though Alfred had automatically vanished.</p><p> </p><p>Tapping his knuckles atop the clean cut wood of Kiku's office door, Alfred stared at the simple plaque with the other's name until a ‘come in' prompted him forward.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you’re busy,” Alfred said before Kiku even had a chance to open his mouth, “But you’re human and unfortunately that means you also require regular sustenance, regardless of how-,”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred paused, his eyes moving from Kiku to the man leaning against Kiku's desk. Wang Yao, the other half of Ni-Chu, smirked back.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nice to finally meet you, Alfred F. Jones,” Yao greeted, bowing slightly as he pushed himself to stand, “Don’t mind me, I was just leaving.”</p><p> </p><p>Kiku rolled his eyes, but stared up at Alfred with a little smile regardless.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. I- did I interrupt something? I could… I'll wait outside?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nonsense!” Yao returned brightly, clapping Alfred light on the shoulder as he walked past, “Not bad, 萌宝, not bad.” <a href="#mengbaodef" id="mengbaodefback" name="mengbaodefback"><sup>1</sup></a> Kiku ruffled slightly at the nickname.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred turned to the other with a puzzled expression, obviously lost with the language barrier.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku waved off his unspoken question before raising an eyebrow as his eyes fell to the food, “Is that for me?”</p><p> </p><p>All thoughts that Alfred had overstepped some invisible boundary by bringing lunch were swept away as they ate, Alfred’s legs folded beneath him on one of the sofas. It was comfortably silent, though Alfred could swear he felt Kiku's eyes on him-- he'd yet to catch him. It wasn't until Alfred stood up to throw his trash away, his back to the older, that he heard Kiku's breath hitch.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku was up in an instant, crossing the room to Alfred who only gave him a confused look.</p><p> </p><p>"What?"</p><p> </p><p>"You are truly a test to my self control,"</p><p> </p><p>Alfred only looked more puzzled.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m starting to think you do these things to incite a reaction,” Kiku continued without explaining, brushing the pads of his fingers over the waistband of the sweatpants then down over Al's ass. Oh. <em> Oh. </em></p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>In his defense, he hadn't worn the infamous grey sweatpants to accentuate his ass.</p><p> </p><p>“Is it working?” Alfred asked in reply, trying to keep Kiku's intense eye contact but he couldn't. He felt like he was being stripped naked and laid bare, all from a simple look.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku hummed, leaning forward and into Alfred’s space, “Look at me?”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred felt his blush deepen as he looked back at the older man – at this proximity he could count the gold flecks in the other’s eyes, had already compared the colour to fire and written words on the mess of a notepad he kept a constant in his mind. And, of course, Kiku smirked, his thumb ducking under his shirt and across Alfred’s bare waist as his heart thudded in his ears and Alfred really fucking hoped the lawyer wouldn’t be able to feel the skip of his pulse.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me, Alfred Jones, do I affect you half as much as you do me?”</p><p> </p><p>Surprisingly, those were not the words Alfred had the slightest idea he’d be hearing. His mouth fell comically open as he stared at the lawyer, his eyes wide as his mind attempted to process the question. Do I affect you? Oh, maybe only every night since they’d met.</p><p> </p><p>To answer the question, Alfred had no real words. He considered something for a moment, an impulse to which he thought fuck it and reached forward once he gained control of his limbs again. He gripped the front of Kiku’s (rather expensive) dress shirt, pulling him forward and half onto himself as their lips met.</p><p> </p><p>For the first time that Alfred could remember, Kiku let out a sound of surprise as he was pulled against the younger and Al jus barely managed to fall back onto the couch.</p><p> </p><p>Relief flooded Alfred alongside the adrenaline of his impulse decision when he felt Kiku kiss him back, the hand from his waist was now on his neck as the lawyer straddled his lap, tongue pushing into his mouth as his hands held the other man in place. Kiku kissed him raw, kissed the breath from his lungs and Alfred was beginning to remember how unfair it was for someone to hold this much power over him.</p><p> </p><p>His heart was still racing when they pulled apart, Kiku’s breathing a little easier than his own but his lips just as swollen.</p><p> </p><p>As if just remembering what he’d just done – in Kiku’s workplace, of all places – he loosened his grip on the lawyer, embarrassment flooding his chest less than regret.</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t kiss me like that and then avoid looking at me, Alfred.”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred glanced back up at Kiku, his heartrate forgotten the moment he locked eyes with the man he’d already sold his heart to. Because that was exactly what he’d done, right? Sold his body, sold his heart; perhaps he was overthinking, making it deeper than it had to be, but what else could he do? Kiku occupied his mind for more of his days than Alfred would ever admit to.</p><p> </p><p>He knew he needed to detach himself from everything, to finally fucking realise that whilst he thought the sun of Kiku, all he happened to be in return was stress relief in the form of a technical business arrangement. He partly hated himself for it, he’d been well aware what he’d signed up to and yet he’d let himself get dragged beneath the fine print anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Fine print: sorry, no feelings allowed.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re over-thinking,” Kiku whispered, his mouth at Alfred’s ear and Alfred jumped, hadn’t even noticed the man moved forward.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just thinking,” Alfred defended, frowning a little.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku studied him for a moment, considering the younger before he leaned forward to place a kiss on the centre of Alfred’s furrowed eyebrows.</p><p> </p><p>His heart might have soared.</p><p> </p><p>He might have ignored it.</p><p> </p><p>“Come home with me,” The lawyer decided, not moving from Alfred’s lap until he nodded.</p><p> </p><p>The journey to Kiku’s apartment felt more like a blur than a memory, his mind wandering as his eyes followed buildings through the window of the car and the ever-present weight of Kiku’s hand on his thigh. The sun had already began to set and Alfred hadn’t even realised how long he’d lingered around the firm. He could feel Kiku watching him, as though his discreet glances would be able to read Alfred’s mind.</p><p> </p><p>“Did something happen?” Kiku asked once they were behind the safety of the elevator doors.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred glanced towards the other in surprise, “No? I’m fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s something on your mind,” Kiku answered more truthfully for him, “I’m willing to listen, you already know that.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’ve somehow let myself feel things for you deeper than a contractual obligation. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Alfred said, “You don’t have to worry.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach when I think about the fact you could drop me at any moment. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Be kinder to yourself, Al.”</p><p> </p><p>Before Alfred even had time to ask himself how it was fair, he was being pulled into an open hallway and pressed against a wall, Kiku’s mouth on his own making him forget his own thoughts. It felt a little like déjà vu, except this time there was more confidence behind his own movements and far more intent behind Kiku’s.</p><p> </p><p>He expected the thigh between his legs, the stutter of his own breath and the overwhelming feeling of want – it didn’t make it any less intense, his own hips bucking upwards as Kiku’s lips began a trail down his neck. Kiku’s hands found their way beneath the hem of Alfred’s shirt, tracing up the soft of his stomach and coming to a rest on his chest.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until Alfred captured Kiku’s lips again that he felt Kiku’s blunt jails drag down his chest, at the same time he pushed his hip against Alfred’s dick and he arched from the wall. He hadn’t expected the sting of the scratches to go straight to his dick but he could already feel himself straining hard in his pants.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve grown rather daring recently, baby boy,” Kiku all but breathed at his ear and Alfred’s legs felt a little weaker, especially when the lawyers hand dipped easily into the waistband of his sweats, “I let it slide the first time, but I’m thinking perhaps you need a reminder.”</p><p> </p><p>Kiku didn’t give him a chance to respond, instead wrapping his hand around Alfred’s cock and turning Alfred’s answer into a broken moan.</p><p> </p><p>“Or maybe it’s that you want me to remind you,” Kiku hummed as he started to stroke Alfred slowly, “Remind you how much you prefer to be hard and begging beneath me.”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred tried to swallow his moan and Kiku’s smirk grew. The younger bit his lip instead of complaining when Kiku removed his hand, allowing the lawyer to rid him of his shirt as he was pushed down onto the sofa.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku was in his lap again, the friction against his cock not enough as he tried to control his hips from bucking upwards. At the feeling of Kiku’s tongue against his nipple, he was unable to prevent his hips from grinding up against the other – he heard Kiku tut, pushing himself up to grind down a little harder on Alfred.</p><p> </p><p>“I have a better idea,” Kiku muttered, before pulling Alfred on top of himself.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred blinked down at the lawyer in confusion, his hands on the other’s shoulders keeping him balanced.</p><p> </p><p>How could the man be laying beneath him yet hold so much control?</p><p> </p><p>He leaned up to kiss Alfred, a little more breathless due to their change in positions yet still leading their movements.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I remove-,”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Kiku answered for him against his skin as he left a trail down Alfred’s neck, “You are going to come in your pants – and use my thigh to do it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Alfred let out, embarrassment evident in his blush.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku chuckled, before laying down properly to look up at the younger.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you waiting for?”</p><p> </p><p>And of course, Alfred was game – allowing Kiku’s leg to slip between his own as he began to grind against the other man, sought friction against the other man’s thigh as he watched, eyes intent on catching every expression, every sound that left Alfred's mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku pulled Alfred flat against him, nipping at his lip to gain entry to his mouth as his hands found purchase on Alfred’s ass. The embarrassment from rutting against Kiku’s thigh felt minor compared to the pleasure pooling in his groin and he groaned low into the kiss, the pace of his hips against Kiku’s quickening as he chased his own release.</p><p> </p><p>“This is one of my favourite looks on you,” Kiku murmured between kissing beneath the younger’s jaw, “Face flushed, lips swollen and cock hard. All mine.”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred moaned in agreeance – he was already unsure how much longer he’d be able to last, especially with Kiku’s hands on his ass pulling him flush against the solid body beneath him, the pressure on his cock increasing as he rutted against the lawyer’s thigh. His breathing matched the pace of his hips as his head dipped down between his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>A finger on his chin tilted his head back up and a chaste kiss was placed on his tingling lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Come for me, baby boy, I know you want to.”</p><p> </p><p>And Alfred did, hips stuttering against Kiku’s thigh as he came, dirtying the inside of his underwear with Kiku’s name on his lips. The other was still hard in his pants, though he made no effort to get himself off as he slipped off Alfred’s pants and wiped him down with the dirty clothing.</p><p> </p><p>“What about you…?” Alfred trailed off as Kiku let out on airy chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>A hand was offered to him, “Oh, we’re not done yet.”</p><p> </p><p>Kiku led him to the bedroom, disappearing for a moment after telling Alfred to make himself comfortable. He returned with a few items Alfred didn’t have a chance to see before the other man climbed onto the bed with him.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you remember your safe word?”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“I need to hear you say it, angel.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mushroom,” He confirmed.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Kiku cupped Alfred’s face, tilting his head upwards to kiss him softly, “If even for a second you dislike what’s happening, say so. I’m only good to continue if you are, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Alfred echoed, still feeling blissed out from his previous orgasm.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to tie your hands together, is that okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred nodded again, watching carefully as Kiku began to wind a piece of black silk around his wrists. He then moved Alfred’s hands above his head, linking the material through the headboard.</p><p> </p><p>“Still okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not gonna break,” Alfred replied, feeling a little warm inside, “I have my safe word.”</p><p> </p><p>The lawyer laughed quietly, giving the silk a test tug before sitting back in satisfaction.</p><p> </p><p>“I never imagined how good you’d look like this, baby boy,” Kiku said lowly, trailing one of his hands down to Alfred’s hip, “I wish you could see how beautiful you looked.”</p><p> </p><p>As intended, Alfred blushed - and was unable to hide said blush with his hands, this time. The act of having his hands tied above his head and his leg spread made him feel barer, more exposed than he’d ever felt before. He half expected his chest to be red with the intensity of his blush.</p><p> </p><p>He watched as Kiku warmed lube between his hands, wincing slightly as the first finger slid into him. Kiku remained at a slow pace, which Alfred was thankful for – he was still sensitive from having just came, his arousal at a minimum. It was when Kiku began kissing the inside of his thighs, the skin there soft and sensitive, that Alfred’s breath began to stutter. Kiku stretched him slowly to three fingers, Alfred’s cock slowly starting to harden again as Kiku left a purple mark on the inside of his thigh.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku gave an experimental stroke over his prostate and Alfred’s hips jumped upwards, his heightened sensitivity pulling the hiss from his mouth. The lawyer seemed satisfied, placing a hand on Alfred’s hip to hold him down as he repeated the action. This time, Alfred cried out, back arching and whimpering when Kiku began to pump his cock properly.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred felt a lot less stable this time around, a lot less able to hold himself back as Kiku pulled whimpers from him – Kiku seemed to sense that Alfred couldn’t last as long this time and Alfred’s hips jerked a little when something was rolled onto his length. A cock ring.</p><p> </p><p>He groaned, head dropping back to the mattress.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p> </p><p>“Say that again,” Kiku’s voice was flat, but the warning heated Alfred’s face.</p><p> </p><p>The younger opted to bite his tongue.</p><p> </p><p>Heat on the head of his cock was enough to surprise a groan from him, but soon Kiku moved to fit more of Alfred into his mouth. His hands were keeping Alfred’s hips against the bed, even as he attempted to fuck upwards and into the heat that pulled whimpers from his own mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“Kiku, p-oh. Please.”</p><p> </p><p>Kiku ignored him – Alfred cursed again when his cock hit the back of Kiku’s throat. He wanted release, the pressure in his balls building but nothing felt enough, not even the three fingers still stretching him open. The fucking cock ring.</p><p> </p><p>But then Kiku’s fingertips brushed his prostate again and Alfred all but yelled, arms straining against the ties so hard his shoulders were beginning to ache. Kiku swallowed him down once more and Alfred cried out, he wanted nothing more than to come but he fucking couldn’t.</p><p> </p><p>“Kiku,” Alfred cried out, another broken plea leaving his lips when a fourth finger was added.</p><p> </p><p>It was when Kiku moved down to mouth at his balls that part of Alfred felt ready to cry. The stretch burned and Kiku’s mouth was causing his words to leave his mouth in a mess – when fingers thrust into him at the right angle and Kiku thrust his head down to deep throat him once more, Alfred’s hips thrust upwards and into the air as he came with a cry that had him shuddering through it. The pleasure was almost painful, his blood hot and his heart loud in his ears as he whimpered loudly.</p><p> </p><p>White hot pleasure coursed through his body as he shook with adrenaline.</p><p> </p><p>“You came dry,” Kiku realised, sounding impressed. Al was too far gone to appreciate the slight rasp to Kiku's voice.</p><p> </p><p>His cock was still hard. He wanted to cry.</p><p> </p><p>“Take it off,” Alfred choked out, adding, “Please.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not yet, angel.”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred whined, “Kiku.”</p><p> </p><p>Kiku looked up at him, running a hand through Alfred’s hair softly, “Do you want to use your safe word?”</p><p> </p><p>The fingers running through his hair were calming and the way Kiku was looking down at him made it hard to differentiate between his heart and his dick.</p><p> </p><p>He shook his head, “No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” Kiku questioned, massaging his scalp lightly, “It’s okay if you do. We can stop.”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred’s hips were still shaking from the stimulation, his cock still hard – he wanted to see this through to the end, however stupid it sounded.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m okay,” He finalised.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Kiku replied, kissing him gently to give him a few moments rest.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until Kiku was between his legs, cock pushing into him that Alfred made any noise. The sensitivity was too much; he was jittery and had to wrap his legs around Kiku’s waist to ground himself. Kiku allowed him to, murmuring praises into Alfred’s ear as he gave him time to adjust.</p><p> </p><p>He was littering Alfred’s face with kisses when the younger gave him the okay to move.</p><p> </p><p>Only a few moments passed when Alfred was unsure that anything leaving his mouth made sense – even more so when Kiku picked up the pace, whispering how good Alfred was; how good he wanted to make Alfred feel.</p><p> </p><p>“Hold on just a little longer, baby boy,” Kiku murmured, groaning as he moved to thrust in deeper.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred was unsure he could hold on a little longer.</p><p> </p><p>He was also unsure when the tears left his eyes, but suddenly his cheeks were wet and Kiku was hushing him with sweet words.</p><p> </p><p>“Alfred, god, you’re so beautiful, you’re okay,” He whispered, kissing Alfred’s cheeks despite the tears, “You’re almost there.”</p><p> </p><p>It was overwhelming – the pleasure, the need for release, Kiku hovering above him and looking down at him like he held the world, the burst of white stars in his vision when Kiku freed him of the cock ring and kissed him, swallowing his moans and tears as he bucked up and came weakly between them. Kiku finished not long after, though he continued to praise Alfred and kissed him softly when he pulled out.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku untied his wrists before pulling the younger towards himself to hold.</p><p> </p><p>“You did so well, I’m so proud of you,” He whispered as he rubbed Alfred’s arms softly.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred couldn’t bring himself to reply, thank God, lest he say something grossly sappy in his post-orgasm haze. Instead let himself submerge within the heat of Kiku’s body as the other continued to hold him. He whined when Kiku moved to clean him up, his fist weakly grabbing the other’s wrist. Kiku didn’t move, instead moved them into a more comfortable position on the bed as Alfred’s body finally let him doze on the line of unconsciousness.</p><p> </p><p>His previous decision to avoid sleep in favour of building his music portfolio, alongside the exertion from their activities, and perhaps the fact that the world was easier to ignore when Kiku’s fingers were carding through his hair, meant Alfred fell into an easy slumber. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>☽ ☾</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alfred supposed it was lucky last night happened the way it did – today was the day of the charity event and Alfred’s nerves would probably have kept him up all night regardless. He was aware that there would most likely be people from his father’s firm at the event; people he’d learned to forget and friends he’d left behind. There was also the fact it was obvious people would be curious about him, he was turning up on the arm of one of the country’s youngest, richest mysteries – and people loved to gossip.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t care for people’s gossip; but he was worried Kiku might. Alfred didn’t want to be responsible for damaging the older man’s reputation.</p><p> </p><p>Watching Kiku make breakfast felt far less worrying than the last time.</p><p> </p><p>“You know people will gossip, tonight,” Alfred said as he sat himself down, Kiku’s shirt hanging loosely from his body after his shower.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” Kiku answered, glancing over his shoulder at the younger with a smile, “And why wouldn’t they? You’re very handsome, Al.”</p><p> </p><p>“That wasn’t what I meant,” Alfred mumbled, playing with the hem of the sleeves in slight embarrassment.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku hummed thoughtfully, splitting their breakfast between two plates, “People will talk, because they have nothing better to do. Will it bother you?”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred rose to prepare tea for them both, a habit he’d developed over time in the large kitchen, “It’s never bothered me, I grew up with people talking about every step I took. I was talking about you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me?” Kiku sounded surprised for the second time in twenty-four hours, “There are a million other things I could care about than everyone knowing you are mine. I’m looking rather forward to showing you off.”</p><p> </p><p>Biting his lip, Alfred focused on preparing the fruit tea Kiku preferred – no sugar compared to the sickening amount he added to his own. It was true, he was Kiku’s, but not in the sense he so desperately wished he was. Returning to the table with their tea, he tried to avoid the curious look in Kiku’s eye as he took the seat opposite.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you considered going back to school?”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred looked up, frowning a little, “No. I dropped out because I couldn’t afford to attend after cutting my parents off.”</p><p> </p><p>“There are many prestigious music and arts colleges in this city,” Kiku added, taking a sip of the tea, “You’re still young, Alfred.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, Feliks is an arts student,” He responded, feeling a little put on the spot, “Scholarships are hard to come by when your father owns one of the highest earning firms.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then I’ll pay for it.”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Alfred didn’t even have to think about it, “That’s the kind of money I can’t pay back.”</p><p> </p><p>Kiku was watching him over the rim of the teacup, “I don’t care about money, if that’s the only thing stopping you then consider it no longer a problem.”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” He repeated, feeling his heart swell without reason.</p><p> </p><p>“The offer remains, angel,” Kiku returned, turning his attention to the food.</p><p> </p><p>Being said lawyer’s date for a renowned annual charity event came with its downsides. For example, being prodded in the face by a narrow-eyed Erzsébet Héderváry who insisted Alfred would look far better with a touch of makeup. Alfred didn’t care much for makeup, Feliks wore it regularly and has used him as a test dummy more than once.</p><p> </p><p>However, Erzsébet was far more precise and far fussier about what she did to Alfred’s face.</p><p> </p><p>Erzsébet had arrived already looking prepared for the event, her hair styled in big, shiny curls. Al wondered how much her pantsuit was, he wondered if she made it.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t anticipated how good Kiku could look – he’d already assumed he’d seen it all, but, no; not when Kiku’s hair had been pushed from his face and his suit as clean cut as his facial features. Kiku was easily an intimidating man, the hard set of his jaw, the width of his shoulders, and the unwavering poker face he could switch into. Alfred had never felt luckier. He watched as Kiku fiddled with his cufflinks – he didn’t even try to hide his blatant stare and Kiku let out an airy chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>Before they left, Kiku handed him a black velvet box. It was growing more and more evident that Kiku enjoyed the colour black.</p><p> </p><p>“What is this?” Alfred asked, peering at it curiously. A bracelet, perhaps? Cufflinks?</p><p> </p><p>“Perhaps you’d find out if you opened it.”</p><p> </p><p>Opening the box revealed a small choker, seemingly minimalistic in design. Alfred liked it – even more so when he realised the initials HK were sown in red on the inside of the choker. It was a possessive move, there was no question about it; the thought made Alfred’s skin feel hotter, he’d be wearing it around so many people and no one would have the slightest idea about himself and Kiku.</p><p> </p><p>Kiku slid the choker from the box and Alfred turned, allowing the older man to fasten the soft material around his neck.</p><p> </p><p>“I asked Erzsébet to make it,” Kiku admitted, before placing a kiss along the side of Alfred’s neck, “I wanted it to match your tux.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Alfred responded, shivering at the ghost of Kiku’s breath on his neck, “I like it. A lot.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you might,” Kiku confirmed, before slipping his hand through Alfred’s and leading him out.</p><p> </p><p>Even Carlos was dressed more formal than usual for the occasion, the driver attiring black gloves as he opened the door for them both.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred’s nerves remained, but the closer they grew the less small he was beginning to feel. Kiku’s presence was assurance enough, the lawyer wanted to show him off and so Alfred had no plans to disappoint.</p><p> </p><p>Although Carlos opened the door for his boss, Kiku opened the door for Alfred and offered a hand to help him up. He could hear the familiar flash of a camera and breathed in once, allowing Kiku to pull him up and link their fingers properly. The lawyer led the way, bowing his head in thanks to the doorman as he pulled Alfred into the foyer. Kiku didn’t even need proof of ID when they reached security and Alfred was starting to suspect he underestimated how well known Kiku really was.</p><p> </p><p>“萌宝!” A voice announced the moment they passed security and Alfred recognised Yao pulling over his date, “Kiku, I do believe you know each other. Alfred, this is-,”</p><p> </p><p>“Ivan,” Alfred answered for the other.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Yao let out in surprise, “You’ve met?”</p><p> </p><p>“Alfred’s father’s company,” Kiku clarified for his friend, giving Alfred’s hand a small squeeze.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Yao repeated, glancing from Ivan to Alfred.</p><p> </p><p>“Good evening, Alfred,” Ivan greeted, his dark eyes glancing from Kiku to the taller, before he looked back to Yao, “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to fetch us drinks.”</p><p> </p><p>Yao nodded and smiled – Alfred stared.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you and he…” Alfred trailed off.</p><p> </p><p>“Dating is probably too strong a word,” Yao informed, watching Ivan for a moment before he continued, "We're normally enemies on the court. He's infuriatingly good."</p><p> </p><p>Alfred couldn’t help the surprised laugh, “So, you’re a sadist.”</p><p> </p><p>Yao laughed, managing to make a comment in Mandarin towards Kiku that he didn't understand, before he turned to Alfred. “You should see him in court," he grinned, patting Kiku's shoulder. "It’s like watching him conduct art.”</p><p> </p><p>Kiku rolled his eyes, “Stop your date from arguing with Leon, you know that journalist is on our payroll.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, true, Leon always does aim to get a reaction,” Yao responded, “I’ll catch up with you both later.”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred waited for the other man to trail after his date before he said, “I want to see you in court, now.”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Kiku replied, lifting two champagne flutes from a passing waiter.</p><p> </p><p>“What if I sued you,” Alfred teased, accepting the flute, “Then you would have to, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you going to sue me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe.”</p><p> </p><p>Kiku rolled his eyes again.</p><p> </p><p>They spent the first quarter of an hour mingling, which usually consisted of Kiku introducing Alfred and Alfred feigning interest on work-related discussion – at least he hadn’t forgotten his days at law school, the terminology came in useful when he needed to impress a stranger’s automatic disapproval of him.</p><p> </p><p>After the host for the evening finished his introductory lines, the small group of classical musicians began their work for the night and Alfred found himself watching curiously. He’d been taught to play the violin from a young age – his mother could play, and he’d always had an interest in music so he’d been enthusiastic from the start. College would be nice to return to, but Kiku paying for it would make him feel like a burden. Perhaps he could attempt to fund most of it with the money Kiku was already giving him.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes had somehow found their way to the lawyer in question, watching him converse with faces that rang with familiarity in Alfred’s mind. Kiku wasn't much of a talker, but he carried an air of superiority and confidence that drew others in. Merely watching him made Alfred’s chest ache with unjustified emotion; he swallowed it down with champagne, ignoring it for the nth time.</p><p> </p><p>He was pulled from his thoughts by a familiar face and Alfred’s mouth broke into a grin as he was hugged by a face he’d missed.</p><p> </p><p>“Antonio,” Alfred greeted when they pulled apart, “I’ve missed seeing you around.”</p><p> </p><p>Antonio laughed, his bright smile causing his eyes to crease, “I’ve missed being around, Alfie ”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred wrinkled his nose at the nickname Feliks had taught the older. Liks was a truly corrupting force. “Yet you still spend too much time with Feliks.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nonsense, he merely calls me every other night with a few choice words about a certain someone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah,” Alfred let out in a sigh, “I didn’t want to interfere.”</p><p> </p><p>Antonio’s smile was smaller, “I’m grateful.”</p><p> </p><p>“But,” Alfred started and it was Antonio’s turn to sigh, “Lovino is stubborn and you’re too nice. You should talk to him.”</p><p> </p><p>“He doesn’t want to speak to me,” Antonio replied, quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that’s bullshit,” He answered, hand reaching inside his suit jacket pocket, “All Lovino has done is mope and run from his feelings.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m giving him space,” The older man countered.</p><p> </p><p>“You really are too nice for Lovino,” Alfred muttered, before finally pulling out the key he was looking for, “Lovino’s probably gonna kill me for this, but,” He held the keys out for Antonio. “I won’t be home tonight. He’s all yours.”</p><p> </p><p>Antonio appeared conflicted, staring at the key, “I shouldn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you willing to let him go?” Alfred raised an eyebrow at his friend.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to, but-,”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s good enough for me,” He interrupted, grinning at the older man, “You can tell him I sent you, tell him I forced you, I don’t care.”</p><p> </p><p>Antonio let out a breath, before nodding, and taking the key. “Thank you, Alfred. I appreciate it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please restock our freezer with ice cream,” Alfred decided, placing his empty flute on a passing tray, “Or take him proper food.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for caring for him,” Antonio gave Alfred a small smile, before glancing in the direction Alfred had been staring before their conversation, “And you, too. It’s not healthy to run from what you feel.”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred laughed, a little bitterly, because, “What choice do I have?”</p><p> </p><p>He followed Antonio’s eyes over to where Kiku was speaking to a small group – as if sensing another pair of eyes, Kiku glanced up and gave Alfred a small, gentle smile.</p><p> </p><p>Looking away, Alfred sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll figure it out,” Antonio then nodded, clasping Alfred’s shoulder lightly, “I have people to greet, but, thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>Despite preferring to avoid the faces he knew, Alfred found himself in conversations with people he’d never expected to see again – it was good to know that people were going the places they aspired to go, and most of them were still in school invited merely due to their law internships. He avoided the questions about himself, admitting only once he’d dropped out of law to pursue things he preferred. It was a little intimidating to meet the people that would graduate without him.</p><p> </p><p>“Alfred Jones,” A voice began and Alfred felt the blood in his chest turn cold.</p><p> </p><p>He froze completely, not even able to turn around and face him.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur,” Alfred replied, hoping his voice sounded more confident than he felt. Aforementioned man stepped in front of Alfred.0</p><p> </p><p>“I had not expected you, of all people, to attend tonight,” Arthur began, glancing around them, “Are you here with a college friend?”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Alfred made himself answer, feeling his palms start to sweat, “I was brought as a date.”</p><p> </p><p>Year two of college, Arthur Kirkland, Alfred’s birthday date. The day that marked the downfall of his relationship with his parents. His first boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>“A date?” The taller man seemed surprised, “You’re seeing someone?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” An authoritative hand slid around his waist and Alfred looked up in surprise, “He is.”</p><p> </p><p>“Honda,” Arthur said in greeting, his tone displeased as he looked back to Alfred, “How is school?”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred wanted to sink into the ground, though Kiku’s arm around his waist anchored him more than any amount of champagne could have.</p><p> </p><p>“I dropped out,” He admitted quietly, unconsciously raising a hand to trace the hem of his choker.</p><p> </p><p>“But you already knew that,” Kiku finished for him, his eyes professionally blank as he stared at Arthur, “Working for them, news travels fast.”</p><p> </p><p>Them? Alfred’s nerves were replaced by confusion. Arthur was working for his father? Even after all that had happened?</p><p> </p><p>“You heard, then,” Arthur responded, eyes dropping down to the hand on Alfred’s waist for no more than second, “How do you know the leading partner of Ni-Chu, Alfred?”</p><p> </p><p>A silent couple of seconds ticked by before Kiku answered, “A mutual friend.”</p><p> </p><p>“Still unable to talk for yourself, I see,” Arthur chose to ignore Kiku, “Have you even changed since we dated?”</p><p> </p><p>Dating Arthur had not been the worst experience of his life – at first. He had been sweet and considerate, up until the point at which he sided with his father and denied all long-time relations with Alfred. But, he couldn’t blame Arthur for saving his own ass, especially considering he was on the edge of graduating and would most likely be applying to work for the top law firms.</p><p> </p><p>It hadn’t made it hurt any less, surprisingly.</p><p> </p><p>“You work for my father?” Alfred realised out-loud, before letting out a humourless laugh when he remembered Arthur had wanted to work for Ni-Chu, “You couldn’t achieve the best, but I suppose second best isn’t an awful position to be in.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s eyes widened and Kiku barely had the decency to try and hide his satisfied grin behind his hand, “It was nice catching up with you, Kirkland.”</p><p> </p><p>The taller man chose not to spare them a glance as he stalked away and Alfred let out the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, I think.”</p><p> </p><p>“You were handling that just fine on your own,” Kiku stated, allowing his hand to linger for a few more seconds on Alfred’s waist. </p><p> </p><p>The night continued on a smoother path and Alfred was just glad his father had never been one to attend public events – he placed himself above such things, usually.</p><p> </p><p>He noticed Antonio slip out early, returning Kiku’s question in the form of a raised eyebrow with an innocent raise of his own eyebrows. Kiku kept Alfred close to his waist, even as conversations ranged from public relations to more private business matters. Not that Alfred cared much for the shuffling of the house of business cards, but he did find some enjoyment in watching Kiku change people’s minds and orchestrate conversations without the other party being remotely aware.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until Alfred slipped away for a bathroom break that Kiku caught him alone in the bathroom, uncaring that anyone could walk through the open door and catch the two men sharing a private kiss. But, before things had time to progress from remotely innocent, Alfred’s phone rang in his pocket and he frowned, half expecting it to be Lovino ready to give him an earful about Antonio.</p><p> </p><p>It was an unknown number, giving Alfred no choice but to answer. Kiku watched him curiously as he answered, straightening himself out before he dusted Alfred off, too.</p><p> </p><p>When Alfred hung up, he felt numb.</p><p> </p><p>“Is something wrong?” Kiku asked, concern evident between his eyebrows.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred swallowed, pocketing his phone quietly, “My mom was taken to hospital.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll drive you-,”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” He interrupted, not wanting to increase the weight on his chest that already told him he was an inconvenience, “Stay with your firm, most people are here for you anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>Kiku’s eyebrows furrowed deeper, “Alfred…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m an adult,” Alfred said, unsure if it was to himself or Kiku.</p><p> </p><p>“Believe me,” Kiku started, his tone soft, “I’m aware.”</p><p> </p><p>“You helped me enough the last time,” Alfred returned, rubbing a hand over his face before he headed towards the door, “I want to deal with things… on my own.”</p><p> </p><p>It was brief, and if Alfred had been in a better mind, a mind less full of worry for his mom and confusion concerning the other man, he would have noticed the flash of hurt in otherwise blank eyes. But, Alfred didn’t notice, and Kiku instead reached to catch his wrist before he left.</p><p> </p><p>“If not me, then at least let my driver take you.”</p><p> </p><p>Pausing for a second, Alfred gave the man a thankful smile, “Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“And,” Kiku let go of his wrist, though his eyes still searched the youngers face, “Tell me when you need picked up.”</p><p> </p><p>Alfred nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Carlos was mostly silent on the journey to the hospital – Alfred wasn’t even certain of the time, only that the roads were emptier and the sky dark. The call had been from the hospital, apparently his mom had listed him as an emergency contact on their system. The doctor had told him it would be best if he made his way quickly and Alfred hated that he was completely clueless as to what had happened.</p><p> </p><p>“Mr Jones?” The doctor questioned when Alfred had found the appropriate ward.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, call me Alfred,” He returned, because there was nothing else he knew to say.</p><p> </p><p>“Alfred,” The doctor affirmed, “You are aware of your mother’s condition, correct?”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Relapses are common, especially in cases such as this, most major illnesses see steps back whenever progression is made,” The doctor explained, and Alfred nodded again, “She’s a little b1ruised, I believe the relapse happened when she was climbing the stairs. Your father is at work and we haven’t been able to contact him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is she… okay?” He asked, though thee question felt dumb, “Is she awake?”</p><p> </p><p>“We managed to wake her not long ago, but I suspect she’s in a lot of pain, mainly from the treatment.”</p><p> </p><p>“The treatment?”</p><p> </p><p>“Anti-cancer drugs are rarely pleasant, Alfred.”</p><p> </p><p>And Alfred nodded again, because honestly, what use was he? He should’ve done something useful with his life – should’ve become a doctor, or a lawyer, or joined the military. But what was he doing instead? Self-employed music work and sleeping with a firm partner who he’d already crossed too many lines with emotionally.</p><p> </p><p>He tried to shut his mind up when he pushed open the door to her hospital room.</p><p> </p><p>It almost winded him to see his mother like this, looking pale beneath her hospital gown with too many drips littering her bedside. He really fucking wished he hadn’t been such a disappointment, maybe then he would have been home with her; could have prevented her fall.</p><p> </p><p>“Alfred,” She breathed out, looking up at him in surprise, “You came.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I came,” He leaned down to plant a kiss on her head, too scared that hugging her would cause discomfort, “How are you feeling?”</p><p> </p><p>The tubes travelling up her nose to help her breathe were worrying him a huge amount.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m feeling fine,” His mom answered. Before coughing for a few moments.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t convinced.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope they didn’t bother your father with this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mom,” Alfred frowned, reaching to the bedside to hold her hand, “You’re not an inconvenience. I’m glad they called me.”</p><p> </p><p>She looked blatantly at his tux and his undone bowtie, “You were having a nice night, you should have stayed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop, it doesn’t matter what I was doing. It was just some charity event, anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did Kiku take you?” She questioned, though she already knew the answer.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, he asked me to go with him.”</p><p> </p><p>“He must be serious about you, then.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Alfred bit the inside of his cheek, “No, he just had no-one else to take on such short notice, probably.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t believe that for a second,” She squeezed his hand, “He was serious enough to turn up to a lunch with your father and I, knowing full well who your father is.”</p><p> </p><p>“Probably did it to spite him?”</p><p> </p><p>“Now you’re just making excuses,” His mom chuckled, “You must be serious about it, if you’re running from it.”</p><p> </p><p>He frowned, “I’m not running from it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Love isn’t a bad thing, Alfred,” Her tone had turned more serious, “I don’t regret much in my life, Al, but I do regret letting you go like that. You’re the best thing to happen to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re exaggerating,” Alfred tried to brush it off, giving his mom a small smile, “I could’ve been a better son.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I could’ve been a better mother.”</p><p> </p><p>She was as stubborn as Lovino, Alfred silently decided. He kept careful watch, unsure if he was supposed to report anything to the doctor – like how she kept coughing until she couldn’t breathe, and how she was too weak to push herself up on the bed, and how she hadn’t noticed the cut on her hand was bleeding. Alfred was aching in a different way, his heart hurt to watch her like this.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, talking about nothing and everything with his mom, answering her questions no matter how childish the answers would make him sound (yes, he still ate children’s cereal). They talked about Lovino and Feliks (and avoided Kiku), he talked about his work and told her the dumb stories about himself and his best friends.</p><p> </p><p>His mom chastised him for leaving Feliks at the gas station.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, she fell asleep, and Alfred didn’t want to leave – he continued to talk to her, continued to hold her hand as he finished off the story of how they invited Feliks to live with them in their new apartment and Feliks had cried, so unfamiliar with permanency.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred didn’t find sleep, he merely watched until one of the nurses came in to excuse him. He picked up his tux jacket, folding it over his arm and slipping from the room. He had a missed call from Kiku he opted to ignore.</p><p> </p><p>As he was leaving the ward, he bumped into his father.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing here?” His father’s tone was accusatory and Alfred was far too tired to deal with such shit.</p><p> </p><p>“Someone had to stay with her,” Alfred returned the accusatory tone.</p><p> </p><p>“Some of us have real work to do, but you wouldn’t know what that’s like, would you?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s like nothing gets through your thick fucking skull,” He muttered, not meaning for his father to hear it but not regretting it slightly, even when his father pinned him against the wall.</p><p> </p><p>Mr Jones raised his voice, uncaring for the fact they stood in a hospital, “What the fuck did you just say to me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I said,” Alfred repeated, his words slow, “It’s like nothing gets through your thick fucking skull.”</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t afraid of his father, but he probably shouldn’t have provoked the older man, either.</p><p> </p><p>The fist to his face was probably, slightly, a little bit of an over-reaction.</p><p> </p><p>A mixture of the exhaustion, both physically and mentally, as well as the blow to his face, meant he just slid down the wall as his father stalked off through the ward. He raised a hand to his face, groaning only when he saw the blood painting his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>One of the late-night nurses had rushed over to him, already armed with a tissue to press against his nose and ensuring it wasn’t broken – he waved her away in thanks, keeping the tissue against his nose as he pushed past the door and into the cold night air.</p><p> </p><p>He shivered, but it felt good. Refreshing.</p><p> </p><p>The phone in his pocket rang again; it was Kiku. He let it ring. It was after 5am, the man should be asleep.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure he could bring himself to speak, instead hailing a cab and pulling on his tux jacket to hide the splatters of blood on the front of his dress shirt.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><a id="mengbaodef" name="mengbaodef"></a>1. 萌宝 (Meng Bao) - “Cute baby" Yao uses it in a joking/teasing way and Kiku hates it. <a href="#mengbaodefback">Back</a></p><p> </p><p>i hope you enjoyed! please remember to leave kudos and comments if you can, they really help motivate me! Also, since I am halfway done with this, I was thinking about writing a spinoff series for one of the other ships in here, let me know what you guys think!</p><p>My tumblr is @heta feel free to shoot me an anon or something!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so i am almost done writing this fic so updates should be quick and consistent for the next week or so! I hope youre enjoying it so far!</p><p>**TW/CW FOR VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER**</p><p>UPDATE: 100 KUDOS????????  HOLYYY HSHTIT WHAT? omg im SOBBING</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>See, Alfred had no real reason for not wanting Kiku to pick him up from the hospital – the issue lay within the fact that yes, Alfred </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>want the lawyer to pick him up, Alfred </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>want Kiku’s ever patient presence aside his own silence. He felt like he had something to prove to himself, to prove that he didn’t need Kiku and reinstate his previously spoken words that he wasn’t a child. It was an excuse, he knew it, yet used it endlessly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His back was aching from the hours he’d spent curled up on the rigid bedside chair, his shoulders ached from exhaustion, his head was aching from the punch he’d received and he was fucking tired. He wanted to sleep for a while, perhaps wake up someplace no-one knew his face nor his name. Somewhere that was not here, his mind tied with knots he had no energy to thread his fingers through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a dissociating feeling – it came sidled with wanting to disappear, the way he had when everything had gone up in flames with his parents. Sure, it was running from his issues, from the mess of tangled springs that came with his family and the knowledge he wasn’t good enough; he wouldn’t be graduating, he had no real job.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Honda Kiku. He wanted a man he had no right to want.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred knew he couldn’t run – not from his mom, not like this. Not again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The taxi came to a stop just as the sun began to peak above the horizon and Alfred bowed his head in thanks, his voice unused for so long he had no desire to speak. He had no reason for coming here – to Feliks’ – but he had often found himself standing outside his friend’s apartment when the world was beginning to spin a little too fast. He hadn’t found reason to seek refuge here in some time; he supposed he should take advantage whilst he could, before Liks inevitably moved in with them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Looking at his phone to find it was 5am, he hoped Feliks wouldn’t be too pissed off to open the door. Maybe he should’ve called ahead, but he’d turned his phone onto airplane mode in the car to stop further incoming calls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the door finally opened, Alfred looked up in mild surprise to see a sleepy looking (and shirtless) stranger. They stared at each other in silence and Alfred considered for an odd second that he’d ended up at the wrong apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks’ head appeared up over the man’s shoulder, rubbing sleep from their eyes, “Al? It’s like, not even anywhere near your usual Saturday morning wake up time yet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Alfred all but croaked out, trying to look remotely less pitiful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that-,” Feliks’ eyes then widened as they pushed past the shirtless stranger, “Is that blood?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred looked down as Feliks wrenched his suit jacket open, worry clouding their face when they looked back up at Alfred’s face to see the beginnings of blackened eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nose injuries always look worse than they are,” He muttered, much to Feliks’  chagrin as they pulled their taller friend into their apartment and towards the bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Were you in a fight?” The stranger asked as Feliks began to properly clean the blood from his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who did this to you?” Feliks asked when Al didn’t answer the other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred fell silent, averting his eyes. He wasn’t sure he had the energy to talk about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My father,” Alfred admitted, before sighing and taking the cloth from Feliks to clean himself.“There’s not much else to say. Can we talk about something else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m Toris,” The stranger introduced, offering a small, clearly nervous smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” He let out in reply, before turning to Feliks, “Wow, you work fast.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks made a noise like they’d been strangled and punched his arm with more force than necessary before leaving to find him a shirt to change into. Toris gave Alfred one last smile and left to make hot cocoa and Alfred was surprised that someone as quiet and sweet as him had caught the attention of Feliks. Good </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You couldn’t have, like, called first, huh?” Feliks said when they returned, voice lacking any bite and handed Alfred a shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I turned my phone off,” It was half the truth, Alfred reasoned with himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until they were all sitting on Feliks’  sofa, Alfred cradling the hot mug in his hands, that Alfred divulged how his night had gone from an upend charity event to cramped hospital chairs and a punch from his father. Feliks knew Alfred wasn’t telling him the whole story, but his friend wouldn’t push for answers until they were alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should probably get going,” Toris announced a little after 6am.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred bit his lip, “I’m sorry for… intruding. I wish we could have had a better first meeting”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It couldn’t be helped, I hope things begin to look up for you. It was nice to meet you, Alfred,” Toris was sincere and Alfred appreciated it. He then reached down to Feliks’ face, tilting their head up to press their mouths together, “I will see you again, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Definitely,” Feliks grinned as they looked up and Alfred swore he saw stars in his best friend’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After Toris left, Feliks crawled over to Alfred on the sofa and brought with them a fluffy blanket. The television made for good background noise as he let Feliks hug him – it was just the kind of person Liks was, they seemed to recharge their energy by interacting through excessive physical contact. Alfred didn’t mind, he’d grown to love his friend and appreciate the comfort provided.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, admitting faults doesn’t, like, make you an inconvenience.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Alfred replied, frowning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks held up his phone, the screen lit up with a specified number of missed calls from Kiku, “Do you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He has more important matters to focus on,” He returned, taking his phone to clear the notifications from the screen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a total idiot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Alfred sighed, covering his face with the blanket, “I like him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, like, duh,” Feliks looked at him obviously, “I’m not blind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” He removed the blanket, staring at Feliks in seriousness, “I like him a lot, Liks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t made for this,” Alfred continued, closing his eyes to sink into the heat of the sofa, “I think I need to change occupations.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so dramatic,” Feliks replied, reaching for the remote to turn the television off.  “ But, I know that… whatever you’re feeling is mega weird.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Scary,” Alfred corrected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I so can’t believe you’re, like, eight years old.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are we friends?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m great,” Feliks then continued, “Whatever, touchy-feely conversations can be left until tomorrow. You need to sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred yawned, “I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a liar, now sleep,” Feliks finalised, shuffling slightly to get more comfortable, “The world will still most definitely be here tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred awoke to a low throbbing in his head and a blackened eye – a side effect of having his nose punched. The bruising wasn’t bad, just visible; he remembered receiving a black eye once when he rolled over in bed and hit his nose on the wall. The swelling would go down in a few days, Alfred hoped, staring at Feliks’s ceiling from his position on the sofa.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you feeling less whiney today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Glaring at his friend, Alfred pushed himself up to sit and rubbed his face with tired hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Feliks chuckled, sitting next to him, “How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, like, knew your dad was a total jackass but he manages to surprise me every time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chewed for a moment, “I did provoke him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter, we should invite Gil and take turns kicking his ass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred chuckled and gently pushed at his friend's shoulder. After a few moments of comfortable silence he spoke up again, “How was your night with Toris?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks smiled instantly at the mention of the name, “Let’s just say I so totally anticipate seeing him again.  Are you going to speak to Kiku today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred glanced at his phone, the reminder filling him with a feeling of dread.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>During the drive back to the new apartment, Feliks found time to complain about how long it would take to move their stuff in with the duo; it was empty rambling but Alfred appreciated the lack of questions, or as Feliks was involved, the lack of interrogation. It gave him time to collect his thoughts, to watch the familiar buildings race by through the window as he tried to think about anything but Kiku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fact that he’d slept in until after midday left his body clock out of tune with the world, his movements groggy – even in the shower, as he tried to wake himself up and leave the storytelling of last night’s events to Feliks. He dressed slowly to avoid touching his face as he pulled on a sweater, his damp hair dripping moisture at the tips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Walking into their new living room, Alfred gave a surprised smile when he noticed Antonio sitting aside Lovino – so Antonio had taken his advice from the night prior, at least. He froze when he realised who was sitting on their other sofa.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino gave Alfred a look not dissimilar to a mother looking at their injured young as he stood up, “We’re going out. Call me if you need me.” There was a look in his eye Alfred couldn’t read.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks waved their goodbye as he followed the two out and Alfred still hadn’t moved from the spot where their hallway met the living room. He didn’t want to look at Kiku, he didn’t want to feel everything that always came rushing to the surface whenever he merely looked in the lawyer’s general direction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred,” Kiku stood up and Alfred could hear the concern even as he refused to look at the other man, “What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d meant to cover the small bruises with makeup. He’d forgotten.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A small mishap with my father last night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chose to walk the long way to the kitchen, avoiding Kiku as he moved to open the fridge. The fridge was fuller than he remembered it being – Antonio really had bought them groceries. He loved Antonio, bless his soul.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did he do this to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pulling out a bottle of water, Alfred replied, “I’m tired, can we talk about this some other time?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Some other time?” Kiku retorted as Alfred turned to face him, “You haven’t answered my calls, when were you planning on ‘some other time’?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you care?” Alfred shot back, taking a sip of the water, “I thought you had work today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His words were unreasonable and he was aware, yet he couldn’t stop the bite from leaving his mouth as he averted his gaze to the plastic in his hands. Maybe if he pushed the lawyer away, just an arms-length, maybe then he’d find it easier to breathe, maybe then their arrangement would lessen the emotional baggage pulling Alfred’s shoulders down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku frowned, stepping closer to Alfred, “I finished early. What is this really about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred moved himself behind the counter island in the kitchen, using it as a barrier between them both as the other man’s frown deepened, “Then why are you here? You have better things to do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did you go last night?” Kiku asked, instead of retaliating, “I told you to tell me when you needed to be picked up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I told you I’m not a child, I can handle things on my own,” Alfred had raised his voice and he wasn’t entirely sure why.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not treating you like a child, Alfred, I’m treating you like someone I care about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s grip on the bottle tightened, his heart tightened, “I’d like you to leave, I think I need some time on my own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart almost screamed what are you doing loud enough for them both to hear it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At that, Kiku leaned against the counter and ran a hand through his hair, “Where did you go last night, instead?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I went to Feliks’. You don’t own me or my life outside of the bedroom, Kiku. I already said I’d like you to leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s jaw clenched and Alfred tried not to watch the way the muscle jumped, “Can you not see I was worried about you? I wanted to know you were okay, but you wouldn’t even answer your phone. I was concerned, because I care, Alfred. Here I am, yet you won’t even look at me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was like holding a firework, watching the fire travel down the fuse and towards the gunpowder excited to burn him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could see the lawyer was frustrated without even looking him in the eye. So, perhaps the man did care about Alfred – but, it was easy to care about someone when you spent enough time with them. Or had enough sex with them. Alfred let out a bitter laugh, looking up to meet Kiku’s eyes for the first time. The regret was instant, Alfred’s heart thudding harder in his chest as he stared at the man who owned his heart in the eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred supposed he should get it out of the way. Return to a normal life – or at least, a non-emotional, purely physical business relationship with Kiku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you said you didn’t have time for stringed commitment.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was like he saw the built composure in Kiku’s eyes snap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right,” Kiku pushed himself up from the island, straightening his cuff as his face fell back to the coldness Alfred hated, “I don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it was what Alfred had wanted to hear, so why did it feel like a knuckle-duster punch to his chest? Still, he nodded, let the sting sink to his skin as he left his bottle neglected atop the counter. They’d established on the first night that this wasn’t a deal for attachment, with Kiku’s lack of time for a strings attached commitment and Alfred’s own lack of appeal in permanency.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, why was permanency so appealing when that permanency was Kiku?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Show yourself out, Kiku,” His voice was quiet, his heart winded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lawyer’s eyes had widened, “Alfred, I didn’t-,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps it was the long night, the long week, his father, the knowledge this was always going to happen from the moment he felt butterflies dance in his stomach, but it took every piece of energy Alfred had left to swallow down the way he wanted to just crumble.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku heaved out a sigh, hesitating where he stood. There were a million things that could’ve been said in that moment, a million reasons to claim that Alfred was just being dramatic or unreasonable because he was tired or delusional, but the lawyer remained silent, eventually turning to see himself out the apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred had thought this would lessen the weight on his shoulders, make it easier to breathe, but the air in the kitchen merely suffocated him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mother hadn’t shown any signs of improvement when he visited her later that day. The doctor didn’t say she was doing particularly worse, but Alfred could see the pity in the doctor’s eyes, the lack of confidence when he said he’d seen people recover from worse stages of similar illnesses. Her body was exhausted and Alfred had been told it was unlikely for her to wake up during Alfred’s visiting hour. He stayed regardless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he ignored the sterile white sheets and beeps of machines, he could almost pretend his mom was asleep. Almost. He could pinpoint the moment her chest shuddered on each exhale, the struggle to continue pulling air into her lungs and the occasional wheeze. He’d missed years he could’ve spent beside her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t completely his fault, he knew. His father played a role in that too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe that thought was partially to blame for his own lack of patience the next time he saw the man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should stay away from here, she’ll recover quicker without you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred looked up from washing his hands in the sink to meet his father’s eyes in the mirror.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you follow me in here?” He reached for a paper towel, drying his hands slowly to avoid looking up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stay away from here, Alfred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s my fucking mom,” Alfred snapped, throwing the paper in the bin a little more aggressively than necessary.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve hardly acted like a son.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned, rolling his eyes, “And you’ve hardly acted like a father, Mr. Jones. Now, excuse me, I have places to be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His father was stood between him and the door and Alfred was beginning to feel slightly claustrophobic within the tiled room without windows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Places to be?” His father snorted, “What, playing pet to Honda? Has he not replaced you already?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred felt his fists clench at his sides, “God, don’t you have anything fucking better to do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He has, hasn’t he?” His father then let out a laugh, “Did he find someone better?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, you mean the way mom found someone better when she called me from the hospital, and not you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His father had always been physical and hot-headed, so really, Alfred was expecting the second fist to his face in as many days. Except, when pain exploded across his face again, he didn’t see red, he saw white, felt white-hot anger pulse through his veins as he pushed himself up and slammed a complementary fist back into his father’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pain flared up in his fist as he remembered, distractedly, oh, oops, you weren’t supposed to punch like that. Before he even had the time to hope he hadn’t broken anything, his father slammed his back into the hard tile of the bathroom wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred wheezed, trying to keep air in his lungs as hands closed around his throat and his eyes widened in shock – he raised his knee in defence, smashing it into his father’s groin and pushing the man away from him as he reached for the bathroom door. Hands were on him again and Alfred didn’t even think before slamming his elbow into Mr Jones’s face, hearing a grotesque crunch followed by a literal snarl.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he was in the clear, feet tripped him up and he stumbled, falling into the hospital corridor as his father stumbled after him and they scuffled – eventually, Alfred managed to roll them until he remained on top, straddling Mr Jones’s stomach as blood dripped from both of their faces.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t remember much after that. Security hauling him to his feet, pulling him away from Mr Jones who yelled and pointed a finger in Alfred’s direction, a deep throbbing through his jaw and a bust lip dripping blood down his chin. A quick check up, nothing broken, Mr Jones accusing him of assault, a security room – police.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred laughing, humourlessly, when he remembered Mr Jones was the largest shareholder of the hospital. So, of course, he was arrested. The fight occurred in the bathroom, no cameras, and Alfred was then pulled from on top of Mr Jones; it looked bad, from an out-side perspective. He’d allowed himself to be provoked, allowed himself to fight back, allowed Mr Jones to drag him into this loophole. Alfred remained without regret, for once in his life. Fuck him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As per rules and regulations, he was given a phone call. He called Lovino.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I might’ve fucked up,” He started the moment Lovino answered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred? What the fuck did you do? Whose phone number is this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um,” Alfred looked across the desk at the police officer watching him carefully, “I was arrested?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sigh, a mutterence of something in Italian and then,  “Jesus Christ. I’m coming.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t bring Feliks, they’ll freak out when they sees my face.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your face? What the fuck did you-.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred hung up, handing the phone over to the officer and allowing himself to be led into the waiting cells. He knew his father was pulling strings to have him arrested, that much was obvious, he just hoped his father wasn’t going to do his absolute worst. Sure, it was borderline corporate corruption, but he’d known for a long time his father had money in places a normal law firm partner shouldn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino arrived in record time, Alfred could already hear his snarky comments as the officer opened the door to the holding cells. Alfred was situated within a waiting cell, one that drunkards tended to be kept in overnight when acting disorderly. He cringed the moment Lovino saw his face and let out a literal screech.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have five minutes,” The officer told Lovino, leaning against the door with his arms crossed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino scowled, spinning on his feet to give the officer a piece of his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lovino,” Alfred sighed, moving closer to the bars so he could talk to his best friend, “We don’t have much time. What did they say to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friend deflated, “Nothing, just that you attacked some guy at the hospital.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred snorted, “My father.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guessed as much,” Lovino replied, the scowl permanent on his face, “This is so fucking stupid. Public disorder, I’d understand, but why wasn’t that scumbag arrested too?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s a respected figurehead of the hospital,” Alfred concluded, leaning against the bars.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s fucking bullshit and you know it,” Lovino retorted, “If it was me, I would’ve fucking punch-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Three minutes,” The officer interrupted in warning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think my father is just trying to scare me,” Alfred informed with a sigh, “Show off how much power he still has over me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s bullshit!” Lovino repeated, looking close to kicking the bars between them, “What about bail?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They didn’t say anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was visibly obvious when Lovino’s patience ended as he spun on his feet to argue with the officer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you charging him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not at liberty to discuss-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Lovino interrupted and the officer scowled, “You can’t just keep him-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lovino,” Alfred tried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t take a step back, Mr Vargas, I’m going to arrest you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’d love to see you try. If you don’t let him-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you threatening me, Mr Vargas?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lovino,” Alfred repeated.        </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s more than a threat you fucking-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have the right to remain silent…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred groaned, letting his head fall against the bars as Lovino was pulled from the holding cell area.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waited, knowing Lovino hadn’t done anything particularly too bad, just that the officer had a pride too large to let it slip. And perhaps the fact Lovino had been in the officer’s face, pointing his finger. Alfred just sighed, watching as the same officer dragged Lovino back into the holding cells and pushed him into the empty one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No conversing with each other,” The officer started, pointing at them both before leaving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino waited three seconds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They weren’t gonna let me stay with you,” Lovino informed, shrugging, “I called Antonio, we’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friend was right. It wasn’t long before Alfred was being led into an interview room, uncuffed and waiting. He was pissed off, rightfully so, this kind of thing wasn’t supposed to happen under just law. Sure, public disorder would make sense, because, yes, they were fighting in a goddamn hospital – but, he hadn’t thrown the first punch and it sure as hell wasn’t the assault Mr Jones was claiming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, why the fuck was he waiting on a lawyer?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Antonio appeared mildly amused as he entered the room, up until his eyes landed on Alfred’s face. Alfred smiled, and then winced, when he remembered his scabbing bust lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Antonio asked first and Alfred was partially touched.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Alfred lied, ready for the entire year to be over, “Did you deal with Lovino?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Si</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he’s an idiot,” Antonio answered, fondly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gross,” He managed in reply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Lovino’s lawyer boyfriend eventually asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred relayed the events as he remembered them, mentioning the first punch from Mr Jones a day prior and their meeting in the bathroom. Antonio nodded, asking little questions where appropriate and eventually abandoning his notepad when he realised he wouldn’t even need to try hard to build a defence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lovino’s told me bits and pieces about your relationship with your parents,” Antonio admitted, playing idly with his pen, “I’m sorry you have to deal with this. You deserve so much better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to cry, a little.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As for today,” Antonio then sighed, “It’s clear from your face that this wasn’t a one-sided fight. I can get you out within the hour.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Alfred repeated, unsure of what else to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s likely Mr Jones will claim self-defence and, as you said, there are no cameras within the restroom to prove either of you right. I see no logical reason but him to pursue this, but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s me, so he will,” Alfred finished for him, feeling a little sick to his stomach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Alfred,” Antonio sounded sincere, “I’ll represent you, if that’s what you want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred nodded, looking down at his hands. They were still bloody. He glanced away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, if he pursues this and he fails – you’ll have an even better case for charges against him, if that’s something you’re willing to consider,” Antonio continued, “I’m not just talking about this, but the past. Everything he’s put you through, and I mean everything, Alfred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Swallowing, Alfred took a moment to think about his mom, about her health, and he shook his head, “I just want this to be over and done with. Then I never want to see him again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” Antonio then nodded, standing up, “I’ll see you soon, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, ‘Tonio.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Out of curiosity,” Lovino’s maybe-boyfriend paused at the door, “Why didn’t you call him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s eyes jumped up at the mention of Kiku, staring at Antonio for a few seconds before he answered, “Our last conversation wasn’t the greatest.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Antonio tilted his head for a moment, considering, “He’s not as blasé as he appears to be, but you know that. Maybe next time, then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Frowning, Alfred watched the other man leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was inevitable that Alfred found himself at the hospital again. Even if such a decision was reckless, considering that his current situation may lead to a real fucking court case in which it’s him against his father. Lovino was right; it was bullshit. But, Alfred was exhausted, he was fucking done with his recent fate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d left the station alongside Lovino and Antonio, the two rather nondescript about the fact Lovino had literally gotten himself arrested for the hell of it. Lovino had given him a hug and a look that said something like don’t do something dumb you dumbass and Antonio merely gave him a small smile. Alfred appreciated them both.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just needed some time alone – to see if there had been any update on his mom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except, when Alfred reached the room he was more than certain his mother was previously situated within, the bed was empty and his mom was gone. He checked the floor level again, the door number, even checked a few neighbouring rooms. She was gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um,” Alfred announced his presence at the nurse’s desk, “Has Mrs Jones been moved rooms?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The nurse glanced up, frowning at the cut on his lip and the dark bruise on his jaw before typing a few commands into her computer, “Can I ask your name?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred Jones – I’m her son.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” The nurse replied, reading the computer screen before saying, “I’m sorry, it appears as though she’s been discharged.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Discharged?” Alfred asked, rather incredulously, “She wasn’t even awake when I left here earlier today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s late,” The nurse returned, looking pointedly at the clock, “Maybe you should go home, too, Mr Jones.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred scowled at the name, turning on his heel and back towards the elevators. It was after 10pm, he shouldn’t even be in the hospital at such a time, he supposed; but he was an emergency contact, he had every right to be here. As he was leaving the ward, he spotted the doctor he’d talked to previously and made a last-minute fuck it decision as he pulled the doctor aside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you discharge Mrs Jones?” He said in one breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The doctor frowned, before realisation dawned on his face and he sighed, “I did not. Your father had her moved onto your home residence with a private doctor. That’s all I can tell you, I have to go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred thanked the doctor, a lump in his throat as the doctor hurried off to where he needed to be. His mom had been moved back to her home – to his parent’s home. An entire city away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A place he wouldn’t be granted access to for the duration of the bullshit trial his father was putting forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt sick, his blood not sitting right in his veins as he heaved in the cold night air. It felt like his lungs refused to take it in, his breathing quickening as he sat down on a bench outside the hospital. He wouldn’t be able to see his mom and his father was taking him to fucking court. Not only that, but his own father had literally tried to beat the shit out of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cold did feel good against his aching face, though it felt like fire in his lungs and Alfred sunk bank onto the bench in defeat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The family home held memories Alfred would rather never meet again and him setting foot there would surely hand his ass an entire team of legal issues.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His father was really trying to take everything from him. He felt sick again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pulling out his phone, he forced his eyes to close against the sting of tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred didn’t even remember pressing call, nor searching for this specific name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pick me up,” He hated how small his voice sounded, “Please, Kiku.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you? I’m on my way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He held the phone against his ear as he waited, his muscles tense – they grew even tenser when Kiku’s personal car pulled up against the curb and the lawyer climbed out of the driver’s seat. He remained tense, even as Kiku took the phone from his hand and pulled him to his feet – even as Kiku used a finger to tilt his face into the light, tutting at the homage of bruises painting his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku opened the passenger door to the car and Alfred muttered a barely audible thank you, sliding into the seat and urging away the feeling of wanting to curl in on himself and disappear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neither of them spoke until Kiku pulled out of the parking lot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am I taking you home?” Kiku asked, glancing at the younger for just a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred shook his head. He didn’t want to go home; he wanted to stay with Kiku and he hated himself for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s cold out and you’re not even wearing a jacket,” Kiku chastised, though there was a playful tilt to his tone, “I bought hot chocolate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The younger glanced down, spotting the two Starbucks cups in the drinks holder. Alfred was beginning to feel warmer inside without the aid of hot chocolate – it wasn’t fair that Kiku had this impact on him. Kiku’s cup held coffee, he could smell it over the scent of his own hot chocolate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sliding off his shoes, Alfred pulled his knees to his chin atop the leather seat and stared out the window. They were on an empty motorway leading to neither of their homes and Alfred frowned, though he said nothing, watching the remnants of clouds disappear as they passed over the moon. It was a shame the city lights hid the stars from the night sky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The world remained moving fast and Alfred just wanted a pause to breathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They lapped into a semi-comfortable silence, a surprisingly nice feat considering their last conversation. With only the hum of the engine between them, Alfred felt himself sink deeper into the seat as they continued to drive – they drove until Alfred’s tense shoulders started to unwind, the knots undoing themselves as he allowed his mind to deflate and eventually, his shoulders sagged and he stared down at his legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt ridiculous – immature, childish. Everything he’d tried not to be. It felt even more ridiculous when Alfred realised he missed the weight of Kiku’s hand on his thigh; missed a slither of the physical relationship they’d shared and they hadn’t even been in the car for long. It was like a craving, under his skin, a demand his mind didn’t want to answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Alfred said, eventually.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku looked across at him, the inside of the car illuminated only by the lights on the dashboard, “How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I got smashed in the face,” Alfred admitted, his tongue tracing the scab now on his bottom lip, “Did you speak to Antonio, today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did,” Kiku confirmed and Alfred didn’t miss the way his hand tightened on the steering wheel. There was a beat of silence, before he continued, “You could have called me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s heart hurt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” He eventually replied, looking back out the window.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me represent you,” Kiku said, startling Alfred, “I don’t doubt Antonio’s capability, but I’m more confident in my own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something remained unsaid, yet Alfred was unsure what.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Alfred answered, his eyes wide, “You’re the head of one of the biggest law firms in the country, I’m not letting you represent me pro-bono on a fake assault case.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, why allow Antonio?” Kiku fired back, his eyes scarily focused on the road ahead, “What is he that I am not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku,” Alfred said, voice small, “You know that’s not what I meant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you not trust me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred was frowning, now, “I trust you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t even tell me your mother was sick, Alfred,” And for a split second, Kiku appeared more vulnerable than Alfred had ever seen him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Alfred placed his chin atop his knees, “I just wanted-.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To deal with things on your own, I know,” Kiku finished for him, “I wouldn’t think any less of you for confiding in me, I want you to confide in me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a small breath before replying, “If you’re sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Kiku glanced over at him again, Alfred was struck by how unfair it was… again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way Kiku looked at him wasn’t fair, because he looked at Alfred like he was the most important thing in the world – he always had, his sharp eyes igniting the butterflies lining the younger’s stomach like he knew he was doing it. Alfred wasn’t supposed to fall in love, not now, not with Kiku. That wasn’t supposed to happen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long to figure out where they were going; somewhere they could see the expanse of the city from above, somewhere he and Lovino had once disappeared to as kids. It felt different, this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku parked at the highest allowed point for cars and they both opened their doors, Alfred shivering at the welcoming night breeze that curled around him. Kiku didn’t give the breeze long, wrapping his own jacket around Alfred’s shoulders and slipping his hand into Alfred’s, tugging him further up the trail.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred followed easily, his eyes on Kiku despite the array of nature around them. They stopped where the railing stopped and Kiku said nothing, allowing them both to breathe in the air free from the pollution of the city. In the distance, Alfred could still see the nightlights of the city, the odd pair of headlights and the neon signs of life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes fell to a close, his breathing smoothing out as he tried to forget the mess of a day he’d left behind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s hand was still warm within his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have work tomorrow?” Alfred asked, failing to keep the guilt out of his voice at the late time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lawyer hummed, the lights of the city dancing in his eyes, “Allow me to represent you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred shook his head, almost pleading, “No, he already knows that we… Well, he thinks that we’re… You know. He’ll use that. He’ll target you. I won’t allow that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku hummed, “Have I mentioned that I find you endearing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It may have come up before,” Alfred answered, a smile working its way onto his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Using their entwined fingers, Kiku tugged him down, caught Alfred’s lips with his own and Alfred gasped in surprise. Kiku kissed him, kissed him until the blush on his face deepened and Alfred’s fingers were grasping the lawyer’s shoulders in an attempt to merely ground himself. Kiku was kissing him and it wasn’t fair; it wasn’t fair that any man could do this with such little emotional attachment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was this how Lovino felt?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku kissed him until he was drowning, his heart hesitating with each beat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet when Kiku tugged Alfred back towards the car, Alfred allowed him to, allowed himself to be pushed up against the metal exterior, until his fingers trembled from where they gripped the material of the lawyer’s shirt, until his heart coaxed fire up his veins and he doubted the need for Kiku’s jacket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred stopped, hands pushing at Kiku’s chest until they could both breathe. Kiku stared up at him and Alfred swallowed, his insides melting away with the seconds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku began kissing lightly across the bruise on his jaw, nosing just beneath his ear when he whispered, “I am terribly fond of you, Alfred Jones.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Alfred hated the way his heart thrummed, heat swelling in his stomach for reasons other than arousal – because it had taken Alfred this long to realise that of course Kiku didn’t express things the way everyone else did. Of course Kiku didn’t express love the way everyone else did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred didn’t allow himself that freedom of thought, pushing at Kiku’s chest again until they were face to face, their foreheads touching as they breathed in each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku,” Alfred’s voice was hardly above a whisper, “You…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never had time for stringed commitment,” Kiku’s eyes were wide, akin to a deer caught.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Alfred replied; he’d been telling himself that from the start.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then, what is this?” Kiku asked, his voice quiet, “If I don’t have time for stringed commitment, what have I been doing with you all this time?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s pulse was thudding in his ears as he leaned back against the car, “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lawyer stared at him, his eyes serious but not uncertain, “I care about you more than anyone I’ve ever met.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku…” Alfred let out, the name almost a whine on his lips as he froze where he stood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, then Kiku’s lips are on his own again and he didn’t have to think, didn’t have to frustrate himself thinking about the endless possibilities of what that could mean. It took a small amount of effort to open the backdoor of the car, Kiku pushing Alfred across the leather upholstery to climb in on top of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s thigh slid between Alfred’s legs as his tongue slid into Alfred’s mouth, the younger groaning and wrapping his arms around Kiku. Alfred all but grinded against the lawyer’s thigh, growing hard in his pants as Kiku wasted no time in ridding them both of their shirts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred did not hesitate in running his hands up Kiku’s torso, moaning at the pleasure on Kiku’s face when his hands found hardened nipples. Sitting up, Alfred leaned against the closed car door as Kiku straddled his lap, grinding down until Alfred was whimpering where he trailed kisses across the other’s chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please tell me you have lube,” Alfred groaned out when Kiku’s fingers threaded through his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t, fuck,” Kiku’s voice was deeper, quieter, and he kissed Alfred one last time before asking, “Do you trust me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred didn’t hesitate, “I trust you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku pressed his lips briefly to Alfred’s forehead before he shuffled backwards and Alfred took a second to accept the fact that car sex was not, in fact, comfortable or easy. Sliding his pants and underwear off at once, Kiku kneaded small circles into Alfred’s thigh and asked him to sit back as he placed his face between Alfred’s legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the first press of Kiku’s tongue against his rim, he gasped and allowed one of his hands to grip the top of the leather seat, legs falling open as much as the back seat allowed them to. Kiku pressed in a little harder, pushing his tongue past the tight muscle as Alfred whimpered, his resolve falling apart by the second.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sound was almost grotesque, Kiku overcompensating in saliva as he slid a finger alongside his tongue – it went straight to Alfred’s dick, his back arching against the car door as he vaguely prayed that no-one chose this night for late sightseeing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku took his time, working him open with one finger and his tongue until he was happy that a second finger wouldn’t hurt too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Alfred hissed, his jaw clenching at the burn of the stretch and the pleasure that Kiku’s tongue brought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finding a rhythm, Kiku continued to pump two fingers into Alfred until the younger begged him to add a third, begged Kiku to fill him and make him feel good. Kiku groaned in reply, taking a second to shush Alfred because we have to be careful, baby boy, I don’t want to hurt you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred was hard and leaking against his stomach, his arm aching from how hard he gripped the leather seat as Kiku slid a third finger into him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Alfred let out in a sob, “Kiku, god, I don’t care, please fuck me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku groaned again, his grip on Alfred’s thigh tightening as he continued to work him open, his saliva stretching Alfred open until he melted into a whimpering mess, writhing atop the leather seating. He continued until Alfred stopped him with a hand in his hair, whining about coming too soon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure, baby boy?” He waited for Alfred’s nod before he sat back, sliding off his own pants and pulling Alfred to straddle him. Holding his hand up to Alfred’s mouth, the lawyer smirked, “Spit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred blushed as he complied, allowing his saliva to drop onto Kiku’s hand and watching as Kiku used it to slick up his own cock. He groaned, gripping Kiku’s shoulder harder as the lawyer positioned his hips correctly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sinking down slowly, Alfred felt winded, the stretch gripping his insides as Kiku’s grip on his hips helped him. It took him longer than he would’ve liked to bottom out, sitting in Kiku’s lap and breathing heavy into the crook of Kiku’s neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku rubbed a hand up his back soothingly, “You’re okay, baby, you’re fine. I’ve got you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took some time for Alfred to adjust, until his breathing evened out and he felt confident that Kiku wasn’t about to split him in half. He moved slowly, Kiku’s grip ensuring Alfred wouldn’t move too fast before he was ready. Rolling his hips, he gasped against Kiku’s neck and allowed his teeth to bite lightly, enjoying Kiku’s own gasp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With time, he began to roll his hips quicker, Kiku whispering praises into his ear as his lips sucked light marks into Kiku’s soft skin. A whine left his throat when Kiku thrust up softly and he took the hint, lifting himself up and keening when Kiku’s cock hit him just right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The burn faded into the background as he began to properly ride the other, his hands looping around the back of Kiku’s neck as he arched and bared his own. Kiku took advantage, bruising his own marks into the crook of Alfred’s neck as he drove up into the younger – Alfred cried out as Kiku found what he was looking for, his thrusts growing less soft as the younger’s moans grew louder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred clenched around Kiku as he dropped himself down, bouncing on the other’s lap until he drew a particularly loud groan from the lawyer. His victory was short lived, as Kiku soon gripped his hips and began to properly thrust up and into Alfred, who whimpered and tried to find Kiku’s mouth with his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku chuckled before kissing him properly, the action offset by the rhythm of their thrusts but Alfred didn’t care, kissing everywhere he could reach as he moved his hips faster, slammed down harder until his thighs were burning in exertion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please, Kiku,” He whimpered, unsure what he was asking for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So perfect, baby boy,” Kiku murmured back, his breathing haggard and uneven, “Are you going to come for me, hm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred sobbed out a confirmation, his hips jolting forward when Kiku slammed into his prostate. He was practically rutting against the older man, begging until he felt like he couldn’t hold anymore – and then holding on longer, his grip on Kiku tightening as everything from his day felt irrelevant, until the only thing that mattered was Kiku inside him; Kiku holding him, kissing him, marking Alfred up as his.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku,” He moaned, his head buried in the crook of Kiku’s neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come for me, Alfred,” Kiku’s voice rumbled through his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred gasped, clenching around Kiku tightly as he released between them, making a mess of their chests and riding out his orgasm until he was whining, kissing along Kiku’s neck and telling him how perfect he felt. Kiku’s grip on his hips tightened, bruising, as he buried himself deep into Alfred and came, filling the other with a low groan that joined the quiet of the car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not wanting to move, Alfred stayed where he was, Kiku buried deep within him and the both of them panting to regain their breath. Alfred planted kisses all over the lawyer, up his jaw and across his mouth, until Kiku laughed and grabbed Alfred’s face to kiss him properly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt like he was floating, Kiku’s arms wrapped tightly around them and a fucking mess between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luckily enough, Kiku carried tissues and cleaned them both up; he pulled out of Alfred with an apologetic glance, kissing the wince from Alfred’s face and retrieving a spare shirt he kept in the boot of the car for the younger. Except, when he reached the seat, Alfred was already wearing his worn shirt and sliding into his boxers with a small smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku rolled his eyes, pulling on the clean shirt for himself before climbing back into the car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sat together, quietly, Alfred’s head in Kiku’s clothed lap with the lawyer’s fingers trailing through his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred stared up at him, licking along the cut on his lip and thankful it hadn’t split during their activities. He could’ve fallen asleep, were it not for all the things left unsaid between them pushing through his mind. It took him a few moments to realise Kiku was staring back down at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Alfred greeted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good evening,” Kiku returned his antiques, “Shall we get you home?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thought of returning home to an empty bed was not a pleasant one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To your home,” Alfred clarified, earning a raised eyebrow from Kiku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m working tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take me with you,” He returned, almost shamelessly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me represent you against your father,” Kiku shot back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred narrowed his eyes, watching the other stare back in seriousness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It could get messy,” Alfred tried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t doubt it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you’re okay with that?” He asked, uncertain, “He’ll come for you, Kiku. Because of me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku chuckled, the sound almost inaudible as he leaned down to kiss Alfred, “I’d love to see him try.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred kissed him back, holding on a little longer. Things might just be okay.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>my tumblr is @heta</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for the 100 kudos and love in my tumblr inbox + comments ): ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤im so  grateful its so shocking. </p>
<p>also 1400+ hits??? thats the most a story of mine has ever gotten!!!</p>
<p>Anyway, this chapter is much more upbeat and fun maybe? I hate sadness and writing the last couple of chapters has hurt my heart.  Also, can you tell I love S. Korea and Hong Kong? They are my angels (I'm still thinking of a way to add Iceland even just for a cameo for purely self indulgent reasons.)</p>
<p>This isn't beta'd we die like men.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was not that the world had slowed to paint a better picture, Alfred merely assumed it was harder to entertain negativity when Kiku’s arm was curled across his chest and his leg was thrown across Alfred’s own. In another world, perhaps, he would feel trapped, pinned down and unable to move, locked shut by obligations and technicalities – except, Alfred didn’t want to move, he didn’t want Kiku to wake up, just yet. He didn’t want to forget the unfurling of warmth in his chest that had nothing to do with Kiku’s own body heat, and everything to do with how peaceful Kiku looked, his cheek pressed against Alfred’s shoulder in slumber.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Kiku eventually stirred, his eyes blinked blearily up at Alfred in soft tiredness. Alfred’s momentary lapse of guilt for being the reason behind Kiku’s exhaustion dissipated the moment the lawyer smiled up at him, stretching his arms above his head though his head remained atop Alfred’s stomach. He yawned, and Alfred stared – Alfred was caught staring and the elder cocked an eyebrow at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred didn’t need to be told, this time; it felt simpler, leaning down to kiss Kiku softly and ignoring their morning breath. The implications behind such a kiss had more depth, yet Alfred felt himself reluctant to remind the elder of their conversation from the night prior.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning,” Kiku murmured, raising his hand to trail fingers through Alfred’s hair.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi,” Alfred replied softly, before Kiku pulled him up and towards the bathroom.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The morning moved quicker than Alfred’s preference, Kiku pulling him beneath the spray of the shower and practically shoving some healthy mix of vegetables into his mouth as Carlos alerted them of his arrival in the downstairs parking lot. So, what if Alfred chose to avoid thinking deeper about the endearing smile Kiku kept sending his way? It was still different, for Alfred felt less like shit and more like a prepubescent unable to keep his heart in check.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knew they had yet to discuss the night before, but Alfred wasn’t feeling… negative, less one-sided and no longer standing on the edge of some cliché bottomless abyss with rejection at its centre. No, Alfred was content, content in the way the lawyer kept finding ways to entwine their fingers, content in the way the elder would use his thumb to remove the spot of toothpaste on Alfred’s lip – linking their hands in public, even as Carlos mumbled about naïve honeymoon phases and kids.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Ni-Chu building felt far less daunting with Kiku mere steps ahead, the expensive architecture not as domineering and security barely giving him a second glance as they advanced into the firm’s headquarters.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I should speak to Antonio,” Alfred began once they reached the correct floor, “Inform him that I took his advice.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“His advice?” Kiku cocked an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup,” He replied, “Just words between friends.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku almost rolled his eyes, murmuring a thanks to the secretary who handed him a cup of coffee, “I may require Antonio for the legal team I am putting together, do tell him that, too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred nodded, the words legal team rolling over in his head because holy shit this was serious – his fucking father was taking him to court and Kiku would be representing him. It hardly felt real; and it stung, his father had already done so much, was it possible he truly did hate his own son? Ignoring that thought, Alfred opted to focus on the idea that he was so much more than his father’s son. After this, he was done – he had his mom, and his friends, and Kiku, no-one more.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Antonio was somehow bright as sunshine despite the early hour, though he did inform Alfred, with a slight frown, that Jones International would be putting forth the case for assault. Alfred had suspected as much.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I would also be honored to participate on the team for this case,” Antonio finished with a nod.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred snorted, “Antonio, I’ve known you for like a year. I’m well aware what your fake-ass business persona looks like.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Or,” Antonio deadpanned, “I could kick you out of my office.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going. But, thank you, ‘Tonio.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at all, just have Yong-soo draft me and I’ll be there.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Um,” Alfred froze, turning to face Antonio from his position at the door, “Yong-soo as in… Im Yong-soo?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The one and only,” Antonio confirmed with an amused smile, “You didn’t know he was Kiku’s secretary?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred shook his head, “I never met him, before… well, before here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you think I met Lovino?” Antonio asked and Alfred felt a slither of recognition, “Anyway, like I said, just ask Yong-soo to draft me before I’m needed.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He should’ve realised – the year before, Lovino was introduced to Antonio through a mutual friend (Yong-soo) already in that business. He’d heard in passing of the other man, predominantly through Lovino and Feliks, though they’d never met. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was odd to see Kiku under such professional circumstances, though the man did seem to carry a constant air of propriety – this was different, Alfred could feel the way everyone in the room looked towards Kiku with blatant respect, not one person questioning anything that left his mouth. It was even odder that Alfred was a part of this room, sat at this table, a table full of potential candidates for a legal team supporting him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do we suspect Mr Jones will represent himself?” Iryna, the associative intern, asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Perhaps a member of his senior team,” A senior associate Alfred had yet to learn the name of suggested, “I heard talk of a recent promotion.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred allowed himself to glance back to Kiku, though the lawyer remained silent.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Arthur Kirkland,” Iryna confirmed and Alfred had to hold back his own wince, “Potentially Ivan Braginski, we haven’t heard much.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were a few groans from the rest of the table.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it really significant as to who will be representing Mr Jones?” Kiku asked and Alfred suspected he was not looking for an answer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope,” Leon announced as he entered the room, a dossier in one hand and an envelope in the other, “It’s Arthur.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred had first met Leon at the charity event – a paralegal who often doubled as a journalist. Young, probably freshly 18. He wondered how he’d managed to score a job at the biggest firm in the country straight out of high school.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So, Arthur would be the one attempting to have him charged in court. Pleasant.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll reconvene after lunch,” Kiku told the table, “Leon, take this to Yao – and let Yong-soo know we’ll need a conference room free.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leon bowed his head, taking the dossier with him as Alfred frowned – a conference room could only mean one thing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is he coming here?” Alfred asked, after the intern left.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m doubtful,” Kiku answered, his finger slipping under the lapel of the envelope to open it, “Though I do suspect Arthur will be the one to make an appearance.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why so soon?” Alfred continued, before realising with a deflating sigh, “He wants a settlement.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your days at law school were not a complete waste, then,” Kiku’s tone was light, half-hearted and Alfred appreciated it, “But, yes. This letter confirms that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hoped his father opted to remain out of direct contact – he hoped he would never have to see the other man’s face again, and were it not for his obligation to attend a possible trial, he never would.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Settlements are quick and easy,” Alfred said, quietly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku pressed his lips together for a moment, considering the younger before he sighed, “Perhaps. If it’s what you’d prefer, we could settle – you don’t have to worry about money, Alfred.” The </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘I can take of you’</span>
  </em>
  <span> went unsaid.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And then we can move on from this mess,” He responded, “But…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But, it doesn’t feel right, does it?” Kiku finished for him, “Alfred, you can’t give in to this – to him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred looked up to find Kiku staring at him in sincerity. He nodded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They were sat close enough for Kiku to take his hand, his thumb brushing over the juts of Alfred’s knuckles.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“After everything he’s done, after everything he has put you through, it would not be just for us to simply let it go and settle with money,” Kiku admitted, squeezing his hand, “Perhaps you would prefer to avoid trial, but, Alfred, I need you to believe I can and will destroy his defence.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah,” Yao’s voice came from the door, “It’s true, Kiku is a formidable trial lawyer.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yao slipped into the room, dropping into one of the free chairs with ease as Yong-soo trailed after him, appearing disgruntled to be removed from his desk of residence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You read the file?” Kiku started. He didn’t let go of Alfred’s hand and it was hard to miss the way Yong-soo glanced at him in curiosity.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I read three lines,” Yao retorted, “I don’t suspect you’ll need much help for this case, but my time is here if you need it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku nodded his head in thanks before continuing, “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Ivan.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yong-soo looked from Kiku to Yao with a cocked eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred narrowed his eyes at Yong-soo in thought.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah,” Yao said again, “I am going to miss facing him in court.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait,” Alfred blinked in confusion, “What?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ivan and I, we never talk about work,” Yao began, his smile small, “And I would never ask him to put us before work, but honestly, your father is a piece of shit and I’ve been trying to get him to transfer for quite some time.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But, you can’t just…” Alfred trailed off, “He wouldn’t just…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He isn’t as bad as you think he is,” Yao responded and Yong-soo snorted, “Call Ivan for me, Yong-soo. Arrange a meeting.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not your secretary,” Yong-soo’s complaint was instant, “Why can’t you just-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I asked you,” Yao interrupted, tutting his tongue, “When my hands are not otherwise tied, Kiku, I’m free to help.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku nodded again in thanks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alfred Jones,” Yong-soo started, peering at him curiously over the table, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If it was Feliks, you know it’s untrustworthy, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The other let out a short laugh, “As expected, though I don’t think they were wrong about certain other things.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred willed himself not to blush.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodbye, Yong-soo,” Kiku said, though it sounded more like a get out. The latter rolled his eyes as he left.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you two ever…?” Alfred questioned after he was out of earshot.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you concerned?” The lawyer returned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Alfred answered, because he was not, “Curious.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku hummed, “I was never interested, though he did introduce me to Feliks and consequently, you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How does he know everyone I know?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And, Yong-soo has been taken for quite some time. He and Yao are rather inseparable.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yao?” Alfred furrowed his eyebrows, “But, I thought Yao and Ivan were… something weird.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I suppose you could say Yong-soo is the both of theirs.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Oh, “Theirs as in…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A relationship? Yes.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred bit the inside of his lip, “Am I yours?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku didn’t appear slightly surprised by the question, “Do you want to be?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You haven’t asked me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was a knock at the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not to interrupt, but, our guest is here,” Leon informed, eyes dancing with amusement on his otherwise stone face, “I showed him to the conference room.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He arrived alone?” Kiku asked, his tone far less soft than a moment ago.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leon nodded, “He seems to be under the impression you’re willing to settle.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you prefer to remain out of the room?” Kiku asked Alfred, “If his client is absent, I don’t see a reason why you should have to attend.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The paralegal opened his mouth to protest, but Alfred spoke first.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Alfred answered, “I’d prefer to be there.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was unsure why, entirely – he could trust that Kiku would handle the meeting appropriately, but refusing to show his face merely felt like hiding. He’d hid for long enough and Kiku had been right, perhaps it was time for him to push back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku appeared less tense than Alfred felt, but there was a hard line to his lips and a hard set to his jaw that carried an air of intimidation. He could feel it as they walked across the soft carpeted floor and towards the conference room, Kiku’s shoulders set straight as he fixed his cufflinks. If it were not for the situation, Alfred would have preferred to spend longer staring at the lawyer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kirkland,” Kiku greeted as Leon held open the door to the room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No formalities, no titles, no smile or nod of his head – a mere Kirkland. Alfred swallowed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Honda Kiku,” Arthur responded, though he made no move to stand as his eyes wandered over to the younger, “Alfred.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred chose not to reply, his response deemed successful when Arthur narrowed his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The last I checked, you were not a senior associate for any division concerning battery,” Kiku said as they both sat down across from Arthur, “Are you here to waste my time?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Coming from you,” Arthur sneered in retort, “Partner of a law firm yet representative of a defendant being accused of battery. Are you truly that desperate?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m unsure if it slipped your mind,” Kiku’s tone was cold, “But, I am the leading partner of this firm. It is my decision as to which cases I see fit to take on, though not the same can be said for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me guess,” Arthur snorted as he sat back, his eyes glancing from Kiku to Alfred, “Pro-bono?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me, does that aid your plight any further?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What, that you’re fucking the defendant?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred’s eyes widened.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There is no prohibition concerning an attorney representing a significant other, if that happened to be the circumstance,” Kiku was nonchalant, his eyes focussed on the man across the table, “I am not here to listen to trivial bullshit, Arthur – we have a no bullshit policy, here. I see that is not the case for your firm.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur’s jaw clenched shut, Kiku’s indifference putting the other in his place – reminding him of his insubstantial position, in Alfred’s opinion. It was clear Mr Jones had sent Arthur as some form of intimidation, using their previous relationship to gain a foothold in negotiations. Jones International had either incorrectly anticipated Kiku, or assumed a person of his position would not see to such a case.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My firm sent forward some documents in advance,” Arthur restarted after a moment, “I-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We will not reach a settlement, today,” Kiku cut the other off, “If that’s all you came here to discuss, I’m afraid this meeting will be substantially shorter. Perhaps you should have called ahead.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You haven’t listened to our terms,” Arthur then laughed, “This is hardly worth the effort of trial.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We are not willing to settle, Kirkland.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We?” The other ridiculed, glancing between the two, “Or you? I’m certain Alfred-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You are in no position to speak for my client,” Kiku retorted, his indifference demeanour beginning to irritate the other attorney, “Is that all you wish to discuss?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur scoffed, gathering his papers silently – Alfred saw a vein jump on Arthur’s temple and suspected, if it had not been for professionality, far worse words would have been exchanged across the table.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“See you in court.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku opted not to bother with a farewell as Arthur stormed past Leon – Alfred only felt himself deflate after the man’s frame had disappeared through the door, sinking into his seat with a sigh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your secretary asked me to remind you about your lunchtime meeting,” Leon informed, leaning against the door, “He’s busy bargaining with Ivan, I didn’t ask for details.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Leon,” Kiku returned, the paralegal bowing his head and slipping from the room, “How are you feeling?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” Alfred replied, frowning, “I’m-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not a kid, I know,” The lawyer then smiled, leaning over and placing a kiss to Alfred’s forehead, “Don’t feel inclined to stay, I have a feeling this meeting will be rather strenuous on time.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred nodded, words frozen on his tongue in consequence to the soft gesture as he watched the lawyer leave. Kiku would be missing his lunch hour, and then some, for a meeting that sounded none too pleasant – Alfred couldn’t help but consider the ways in which he could find himself useful.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku had told him that Carlos was at his disposal, so it wasn’t long before he was back at the lawyer’s apartment and searching through drawers for things he was certain he’d seen the lawyer put away. He did stop for a moment to consider how comfortable he was here, literally going through another man’s things without a slither of guilt.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Opening the final drawer, Alfred let out an aha when he found the collection of toys he’d been searching for – or more particularly, the few dark coloured plugs he’d had the pleasure of stumbling across before. Pocketing the choker Kiku had given him, he considered his options; he could prepare himself here, risking an awkward car journey with Carlos, or he could do it in Kiku’s empty office, risking an entire handful of possibilities.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The latter was exhilarating, the idea itself stirring Alfred’s arousal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred had been attempting to gather the courage to face Yong-soo for approximately ten minutes, the young man’s desk situated on the way to Kiku’s office. Yong-soo had picked up on his hesitation, grinning beautifully and placing his chin atop his hand, finding amusement in the way Alfred’s cheeks burned red and he lowered his voice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, Im-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please,” Yong-soo cut him off, still grinning, “Call me Yong-soo.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yong-soo,” Alfred tried again, trying not to meet the other’s eyes, “I was wondering… do you know how much longer Kiku’s meeting will run?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I predict his office will be empty for another 30 minutes, if that’s what you mean.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred nodded, “Does anyone else usually… drop by?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll make sure it’s just you and </span>
  <em>
    <span>hyung</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Yong-soo confirmed and Alfred hated how quick the other could catch onto things, “Until my shift finishes, at least.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Closing Kiku’s office door behind him, Alfred took a moment to appreciate the lawyer’s office in its empty glory and guided his feet to Kiku’s chair – it already felt daring to sit in the firm’s partner’s chair without permission, what he was about to do even more so.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He placed his jacket over the seat of the chair to minimise mess, taking a deep breath and glancing towards the door one last time, before sliding his pants off. After securing the choker around his neck, his thumb absently brushing over the KM initials sewn into the material, he placed the plug and bottle of lube atop Kiku’s desk.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Spreading his legs and slicking up his fingers, Alfred reached below the desk to prepare himself. He bit his bottom lip as he slid the first finger in, starting a rhythm that aimed for efficiency where time was concerned. His other hand gripped the edge of Kiku’s desk when he added a second, an attempt to remain quiet so that the only sound filling the office was that of his quickened breathing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If Yong-soo failed to stop anyone from coming into the office, they would wander through to see Honda Kiku’s client fingering himself open on their boss’s chair. The thought sent a jolt of sensation straight to his dick and he bit his lip harder, scissoring himself open enough to add a third and groaning low in his throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The toy he’d chosen wasn’t particularly large – small enough so that, if, Kiku was to fuck him, Alfred would still feel a stretch. Making sure he’d added enough lube, he relaxed his lower half enough to slide the toy into himself. He remained still for a few moments further, waiting for his breathing to return to normal before pulling on his clothes to wait – it was difficult to remain nonchalant when he was halfway to hardness in his pants.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Just as he’d slid on his jacket, there was a noise at the door. Alfred sat back, attempting to appear casual as Kiku opened the door to his office. Even from here, Alfred could see the hard line of a frown between the lawyer’s eyebrows, the tenseness of his gait; perhaps coming back to the office wasn’t the worst idea, after all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Difficult meeting?” Alfred asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Irritating,” Kiku agreed, his eyes darkening when they fell to the choker around Alfred’s neck marking the younger as his, “A senior team unable to handle the simplest of subpoenas.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds stressful,” Alfred replied, swallowing when the elder stalked forward, “I thought I’d try help.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh?” The lawyer questioned, tracing where the choker met Alfred’s neck with his finger.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If you’d allow me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku hooked his finger beneath the choker, using it to guide Alfred to his feet to push him against the desk, “You’re offering to relieve my stress, hm?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Alfred murmured, the lawyer’s finger stopping just atop his windpipe, “Please.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The first kiss was softer than Alfred had expected it would be, Kiku using the slow pace to lick into Alfred’s mouth to claim it with his tongue. Alfred didn’t attempt to push, merely kept up with the lawyer’s pace as hands pushed his jacket onto the desk behind. The hands continued across Alfred’s torso as they kissed, Kiku’s lips dipping to trace along his neck as his hands reached Alfred’s ass.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He squeezed, hard, the tight grip reminding Alfred all too well of the plug pressing inside of him and the younger groaned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku paused, his hands dipping beneath Alfred’s waistband and down his ass until his fingers found what they were looking for. The growl that followed made Alfred strain harder against his underwear, the lawyer then pushing him harder into the desk to leave a more bruising mark on Alfred’s neck.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“When?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Waiting for you,” Alfred gasped out when Kiku pushed his hip between his legs, “In here. On your chair.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit,” Kiku breathed out, sliding his hand out of Alfred’s pants, “Did you..?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred shook his head, “I was waiting for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku kissed him a little harder, the air rushing from Alfred’s lungs as the elder’s hip added much-needed friction to his dick.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want?” Kiku asked him, tipping Alfred’s head up to take in the pretty picture of his swollen lips.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’d already thought about his answer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Use me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The grip on Alfred’s face tightened for a split second as Kiku kissed him one last time, teeth nipping harshly at the younger’s bottom lip before he took a step back. He considered Alfred for a moment, eyes lingering on his lips before falling to the choker around his throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“On your knees.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred didn’t hesitate, trying not to whine when the movement moved the plug in his ass.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After sitting down on the chair in front of Alfred, Kiku pulled down the zipper of dress pants far too expensive to consider getting messy – and for some reason, this felt dirtier than the lawyer ridding himself of his pants completely.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His hands gripped the muscle of Kiku’s thighs when he took the lawyer into his mouth, Kiku’s tip dragging across the roof of his mouth. The elder tangled his fingers in Alfred’s hair, using his grip to situate Alfred beneath his desk; each movement backwards had Alfred whining around Kiku’s cock, the plug pushing against his walls but not quite enough.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku moved his foot to press against Alfred’s straining cock and the younger let out a groan, loud enough for Kiku to tighten his grip on the brunette’s hair. His earlier preparation already had him riled up and Alfred wasn’t too sure how long he could even last like this.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What if someone walked in to hear that?” His heel pressed harder against Alfred’s cock, causing him to choke down a whimper, “Hear you choking on my dick, grinding against my foot?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As if to prove his point, Kiku pushed Alfred’s head down and the younger gagged, the tip hitting the back of his throat. He looked up at Kiku, a silent plea for more and Kiku obliged, pushing Alfred back down until tears threatened to fall from his eyes. He was practically rutting against Kiku’s foot, feeling utterly filthy and incredibly aroused.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And, of course, someone was bound to enter the office at some point.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The grip on his hair slackened.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Leon,” Kiku said in greeting and Alfred screwed his eyes shut, “I thought you had left.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I had a draft to drop off,” Leon replied, and Alfred was thankful it sounded like the other chose to linger around the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Leave it on Yong-soo’s desk.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku increased pressure on Alfred’s dick, who retaliated by sucking harder. The lawyer gripped his hair, hard and Alfred had to fight himself to remain silent. Any noise would probably alert the other to what was happening, and Alfred hated the way his cock pulsed at the mere thought.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Will do. Goodnight, boss,” was followed by the sound of the office door shutting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred keened when Kiku thrust up into his mouth, running his tongue along the underside until Kiku hissed and started fucking upwards. Completely unprepared, with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck baby boy you look so pretty </span>
  </em>
  <span>and a twist of Kiku’s foot, Alfred came, groaning hard around Kiku’s cock as he dirtied the inside of his underwear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alfred,” Kiku all but purred, tugging him up with the hand in his hair, “Did you just come?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Skin flushing bright red from sheer embarrassment, Alfred did nothing more but stare at the lawyer sheepishly. The lawyer pulled him to stand, pushing him chest first onto the desk to tug down Alfred’s pants. His fingers found the plug, toying with it for a moment before he began to pump it in and out of Alfred’s ass – Alfred gasped, squirming, glad his earlier-discarded jacket was atop the desk.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku remained pumping the toy, pressing kisses against crook of Alfred’s neck and murmuring good boy, though Alfred had no fucking idea what he’d done to deserve the praise.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Without warning, Kiku slid the toy out and Alfred winced, hands gripping the desk when the head of Kiku’s cock pressed into him. Bent over the desk, his legs spread, a filthy picture in Alfred’s mind as Kiku filled him perfectly. He groaned against the desk, half-thinking about the inappropriateness of drooling against wood this expensive.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Kiku gathered his hands to press against his lower back, fucking into him hard from behind, any consideration for the expensive desk became irrelevant. His hands immobilised and his cheek pressed against the wood, Alfred could feel his own dick twitching – he’d lost sense of his tongue already, moans growing in pitch as he spared a thought to anyone walking past the office.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku was groaning low in his throat with each thrust and Alfred’s mind was a fucking mess of please and Kiku as the elder picked up his pace, all but ramming Alfred against the desk with a bruising grip on his wrists.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“F-fuck, Kiku,” Alfred’s words were a breathy mess, he made himself swallow before continuing, “Come in me, please.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re so-,” Thrust, “Beautiful like this, fuck, Alfred.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please,” Alfred repeated in a whine, “Please, please-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred almost yelled when Kiku slammed against that point, biting his lip hard enough to break the scab from his split lip; the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth as Kiku thrust into him, tense and stilling, spilling into Alfred with praises on his tongue.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They were both left panting in the seconds after, Alfred’s cock half-hard and sensitive against Kiku’s fucking work desk as the elder littered kisses across Alfred’s wrists, a small apology for how hard he’d been gripping them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His mind felt like cotton when Kiku turned him over, thumbs gently rubbing over the skin after he’d cleaned the blood from Alfred’s lip. He then leaned forward to kiss Alfred properly, and the younger let out an unconscious sigh of content.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He then dropped to his knees, and Alfred felt like he was fucking floating.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Honda goddamn Kiku was on his knees, in his own office, swallowing down Alfred Jones without hesitation. It took the last of Alfred’s remaining self-restraint to not thrust into the heat – and Kiku figured that out, pinning Alfred’s hips to his desk as he bobbed his head. Alfred moved a hand to his own mouth, afraid that he’d alert any late-night workers to their activities as he muffled his own moans.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Looking down, Alfred couldn’t help but gasp into his own hand – Kiku looked incredible, his lips stretched around Alfred’s cock and his hair askew from how hard he’d been fucking the younger. Raising the hand that wasn’t muffling his mouth, he gently ran his fingers through the lawyer’s hair, pushing it back and out of his eyes. Kiku looked up at him then, locking eyes as his tongue followed a certain vein that almost had Alfred caving in on himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The way Kiku looked up at him had Alfred’s heart beating tenfold in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku said nothing when Alfred’s grip in his hair tightened, his breath stuttering and his moan a whisper when he came into the other’s mouth – who swallowed it down without prompting, standing back up to kiss Alfred deeply.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred was unsure how long they remained there, Kiku stood between his open legs and painting his face in kisses as his mind took its time to come back to ground level. His fingers were gripping the hem of Kiku’s untucked shirt weakly, until eventually, he leaned forward to rest his head against the crook of the lawyer’s neck.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You back with us, yet?” Kiku asked, hand raised to tilt Alfred’s head up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think so,” Alfred responded, and Kiku kissed him again, and fuck if Alfred’s heart wasn’t melting in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s get you cleaned up, baby.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Going to work with Kiku that morning and leaving in the evening, albeit with certain happenings occurring some time in between, Alfred could almost feel the boundary lines between them thinning. It was inevitable that they’d return to the conversation they’d had that morning, having been interrupted by the paralegal – the unanswered question: am I yours?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Other than Kiku, Alfred appreciated that he probably had to return home at some point – to assure Lovino that, yes, he wasn’t dead and assure Feliks that, no, he wasn’t busy blindly running from anything he considered mildly scary. He’d received a handful of similarly worded text messages.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Right now, the rest felt irrelevant. It was late, the moon’s light keeping the edges of the clouds aware in the dark night sky – his hand in Kiku’s, his head resting against Kiku’s shoulder in the backseat of his car and words unneeded between them. Alfred supposed, if Kiku wanted to, he could restart their morning conversation. But, what if he didn’t want to?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred was feeling a little too tired to care.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Deciding to look at their entwined fingers, he began, “Kiku.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?” The lawyer responded, the hum deep in Alfred’s ear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to continue our conversation from this morning,” He thanked himself for holding out on the blush, “I mean, if you want to.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A finger on his chin tilted his head up, their faces so close that they were sharing air.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alfred Jones,” Kiku murmured, the ghost of his words tracing over Alfred’s lips, “Be mine.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” He replied, the butterflies in his stomach making him feel lighter, “I’m yours.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My boyfriend?” Kiku smirked just to watch Alfred fail to hide his blush, “I like that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He placed a small kiss on Alfred’s forehead, before the younger buried his head into Kiku’s shoulder – partly to hide the pinking blush, but also to hide his dumb fucking smile. Kiku squeezed his hand, and Alfred held on, the butterflies in his stomach entertaining his veins; in what universe did this happen, to him? For once, Alfred allowed himself this moment, allowed himself to breathe in the scent of a man he adored as he watched the world race by, untouchable through the glass of the car window.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“About time,” Carlos muttered from the driver’s seat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lovino watched him pour milk over his cereal, eyes narrowed, glaring holes into Alfred’s back. Feliks, on the other hand, was busy typing rapidly on their phone and hiding it from view any time Lovino attempted to sneak a look. Alfred assumed it had something to do with a particular CEO’s son, but he’d let Feliks tell the two of them in their own time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So,” Alfred started as he turned around, spooning cereal into his mouth, “How was your weekend?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s Tuesday,” Feliks corrected, not looking up from their phone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lovino sighed, “It's Wednesday.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever,” Feliks and Alfred said in unison.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If it wasn’t for the blossoming hickey on your neck,” Lovino said, eyes dropping to Alfred’s neck to prove a point, “I’d assume you spent the rest of your time in jail, unable to answer your texts.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Firstly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>mom</span>
  </em>
  <span>, we left the police station together,” Alfred retorted, and Feliks looked up from their phone, eyes widening as they looked between them, “Secondly, I was busy with... legal things?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What! You guys got arrested?” Feliks then paused, “Without me?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Legal things,” Lovino replied, deadpan, “The last I see of you, we’re leaving a police station, you’re beaten and bruised and then you ignore my text messages?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Um,” Feliks was staring at Alfred, “Like, what happened to your face? Did you get in a fight?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A lot… of things? Happened,” Alfred decided on, feeling a slither of guilt because yes, for once, Lovino was correct, “Kiku picked me up from the hospital and I just…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?” Lovino asked, more softly this time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred focussed on eating his cereal for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did your dad do that to you?” Feliks questioned, eyebrows furrowing in the beginnings of anger.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Liks, not now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I went to the hospital,” Alfred retold, moving to sit across from Liks and Lovino, “He moved my mom onto their private residences, I can’t see her until the trial is over – because I’m not allowed anywhere near him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Lovino voiced what Alfred was thinking, “Maybe… Kiku could look into it? Perhaps file an appeal?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re going to court?” Feliks’s tone was becoming increasingly hysteric and Lovino shot them a look, “Right, okay. You can like, totally tell me later.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Alfred said in realisation, “I never thought about that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And let me guess, you didn’t tell Kiku, so he couldn’t suggest it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred shifted on his seat, “I didn’t mean to keep it to myself.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Feliks watched him for a moment, before they said, “So, like, you finally let him be there for you, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, you could say that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>totally have a dinner date in an hour and I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>not showing up in Lovino’s jeans,” Feliks earned a scowl from Lovino, before they shot a knowing look in Alfred’s direction as they stood, “Enjoy your evening, kids.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred finished his cereal, making idle conversation with Lovino as he cleaned up – Lovino told him about his week with Antonio, that even though Lovino had stopped receiving payments, Antonio still spoiled him at every possible moment. It reminded Alfred that he’d have to tell Kiku that, too; he didn’t want to be paid to date him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It still hadn’t sunk in and Alfred felt like he was waiting for the second shoe to drop, for someone to entertain him with a haha just kidding – everything that he’d felt, the tightening in his chest whenever Kiku as much as looked at him, it hadn’t been for nothing. Perhaps Alfred didn’t believe that, yet; didn’t believe that something like this could happen to him – the mere idea filled him with an almost giddy excitement, because holy shit he was Kiku’s… And Kiku was his.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After everything that had happened, Kiku still wanted him. It felt a little dangerous to hold so much affection for one man.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Lovino said, quietly, after they’d lapsed into a silence, “You know what you’re doing, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Doing with what?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“With Kiku,” Lovino clarified, “I’m not an idiot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Um, not really.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lovino tutted, pulling him into a slightly awkward side hug, “Be careful. I care about you, like, a little bit.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A little bit,” Alfred repeated, shoving his best friend away, “I see how it is.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m trying to be nice!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” His tone softened slightly, “And I’m thankful.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve been through a lot, okay? I’m not ready to let just about anyone fuck with my best friend.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred snorted, “I’ll let him know you think so.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the week remained, quite frankly, uneventful. Alfred had always hoped court would be a little more riveting than a continuous flow of paperwork, but he’d recently seen enough subpoenas to last a life-time and he’d already dropped out of law school. He’d always hated the constant on-edge mindset that law school had brought, the competitiveness, the permanent need to out-perform your peers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku suited it well, Alfred realised, for he flourished in quite literally anything he set his mind to.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s get lunch,” Alfred suggested, sliding into Kiku’s office a minute into the firm’s lunch hour.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The lawyer looked up in slight surprise, “I thought you were finished here this morning.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was,” He confirmed, sitting in one of the chairs across from Kiku’s desk, “I thought lunch with you was worth sticking around for.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku winced slightly, though his tone was warm with the younger’s sentiment, “I have a lot of work to do.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it work that’ll still be here when you return in an hour?” Alfred asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, yes,” Kiku answered, cocking an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Great, let’s go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alfred,” The lawyer sighed and Alfred was half certain he’d detected a hint of a whine, “I really do have much to do.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The younger watched him for a moment, “You’ll catch that disease people get when they’re inside for too long.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cabin fever,” Kiku informed, meeting Alfred’s eyes for a few moments. The younger didn’t blink, “Fine, you win. One hour.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred grinned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They decided on a nearby restaurant that was a tad too formal for Alfred’s liking, though it was enough that he’d managed to drag the lawyer out of his office for the hour. The latter seemed a regular, as the waitress smiled brightly and showed them to a table without much hassle. Kiku didn’t even glance at a menu, ordering for them both as Alfred watched in hidden awe.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After the waiter brought over their non-alcoholic, Kiku drinks, Alfred said, “When you picked me up from the hospital a couple of nights ago,” Kiku looked up in mild surprise, “I never did tell you why.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not obligated to tell me everything,” The lawyer tried, “I admit I was a little frustrated that you thought you couldn’t confide in me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It wasn’t that, I didn’t want to burden you with-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alfred, it’s okay,” Kiku interrupted, though his tone was soft, “We can talk about that when we have more time.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You knew my mom was in that hospital, right?” He waited for Kiku’s nod, “Well, Mr Jones had her moved home. Their home. With private medical aid.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku’s eyebrows furrowed, “Moving her to where you’re not permitted to go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded, distracting himself with a sip from his glass, “I was upset.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It will take me two seconds to file an appeal,” Kiku told him, though he still looked rather displeased, “All the court has to do is ask your mother.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred snorted – Lovino had said that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Alfred said in earnest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll do it as soon as I return to my office.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The waitress appeared with their food, a range of meat and a handful of side servings and they both thanked her. Alfred was content to just eat for a few moments, the stress of the week hardly relevant as he chewed – and watched Kiku do the same, half certain the lawyer skipped out on lunch some days for meetings and the such. He’d drop by with food himself, if he had to.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I also, um, wanted to talk to you about something.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku hummed, “You know you don’t need my approval to just talk about something?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred swallowed his food, cheeks dusted lightly pink, “You don’t have to… pay me… anymore?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What if I wanted to?” Kiku asked in a beat, taking another chunk of meat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The younger stared at him, a little wide-eyed, “Wouldn’t it be… weird? I mean we’re…” cough, “Y’know?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku was smiling, albeit small and soft, “If you don’t like it, you could always put it in a separate account for emergencies. Or in case, you know, the future isn’t what we want it to be.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In case we break up, Alfred read between the lines.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t just pay me for nothing,” Alfred complained, pushing rice around with his chopsticks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re busy doing what you want to do with your music, Alfred,” Kiku chewed for a moment, before continuing, “Between that and a court case, it’s not like you have time to work doing something you’d be happy doing. Allow me to do this, for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred stared at him, before sighing, “Fine. But, reduce it – just enough to cover rent. That’s it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t believe he was negotiating with his boyfriend concerning the subject of paying him to do nothing. Despite his complaints, he was grateful – Kiku was right, he was busy setting up a portfolio and composing for small companies on freelance, something he wouldn’t be able to do if he worked elsewhere. There was also the fact that this apartment was a little pricier than the last. Thanks to Lovino.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” Kiku copied, “But, I’m allowed to buy you what I please.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean spoil me,” He raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku shrugged, “You say spoil, I say buying beautiful things for my beautiful boyfriend.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred couldn’t help it; he smiled for the rest of the lunch hour.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welcome! I hope you enjoyed!! My tumblr is @hetas</p>
<p>ALSO <a href="https://sesels.tumblr.com/post/632803350594895872/kind-of-obsessed-with-hetas-rich-bitch-sugar">LOOK AT THOSE SUPER CUTE SKETCH OF SUGAR BABY FELIKS</a> MY FRIEND DREW FOR ME? AAA?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HAPPY HETALIA DAY!! oh my god this is my 9th celebrated hetalia day. omg... </p>
<p>Anyway this fic is almost done omg ;-; this has been such a journey! I started this fic back in March and it's been a crazy year! Thank you to everyone for your continued support and kind words, I'm glad I'm opening some of your minds to subby Alfred and dom Kiku! Please Ameripan fans, write more dom Kiku.</p>
<p>Also, I just uploaded a new oneshot called <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27182878">Deep Red</a>! If you liked this fic, I'd appreciate it if you checked this one out too!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was almost incredible how fast Kiku worked – it had taken no more than the weekend for the lawyer to appeal and reinstate guidelines concerning Alfred’s contact with his mother, and by the Monday, Alfred had been granted permission to visit her. Although cliché, there were no words Alfred could say to tell Kiku how thankful he was for everything. They had somehow transformed from a purely pleasure based business relationship to something much more – sure, they’d cared for each other before, but… well, Alfred wasn’t quite sure how to describe the euphoria in his chest when Kiku pulled him close, the happiness undeniable in both of their eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So perhaps sometimes he felt like a charity case, felt a little unworthy, an idealist in a world surrounded by everything real – but, for once, he preferred to ignore those thoughts, to focus instead on the things he had instead of worrying about when they would be gone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I could come with you,” Kiku said as they pulled into the driveway of his parent’s private estate.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The journey had been long, almost an entire city away, yet Kiku had insisted on being the one to drive Alfred. He was certain Kiku had far more important things to do, Alfred had stated as much, but one look from the lawyer and </span>
  <em>
    <span>a let me do this for you</span>
  </em>
  <span> had him yielding in a record breaking time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t be long,” Alfred replied instead, “I don’t want to involve her in any of this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku’s hand shifted on the steering wheel, “She might be the best person for us to consider, in this case.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And risk worsening her condition? I really don’t want to involve her in this, Kiku.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The other didn’t say anything, instead averted his attention to parking the car. They both climbed out of the car, Alfred’s movements less confident as he allowed his eyes to roam across the expanse of his childhood – he’d grown up here, studied here, played with Lovino when they were young, here; his life as he knew it had come to an end, here.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He felt a warm hand slide into his own and he blinked, as though only just remembering why they were here. Not all his memories here were bad, a lot of them were, but he chose to remember the days he’d spent fucking around with Lovino rather than remembering how everything he’d known had come apart beneath his feet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s not stay here for long,” Alfred informed as they reached the front door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku raised their entwined hands to press a kiss to Alfred’s knuckles, “I’ll stay by the car, I have a few calls to make.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred winced, “I forgot you’re supposed to be working, not driving me across the fucking city-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alfred,” Kiku interrupted, his tone almost chastising, “Shut up. Text me if you need me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sir, yes sir,” He nodded in response, Kiku leaving him with a small smile and a roll of his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully, he was shown to his mother’s room – he’d much rather avoid permission to travel through these corridors alone, far too many distantly familiar rooms and paintings and things that sank like lead to the bottom of his stomach. Things he would prefer not to think about.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He supposed it was better for his mom here, in familiarity, by walls coated in something other than a sickly white, by surroundings offering comfort. She was asleep when he first sat down, but stirred briefly until her eyes opened – he felt a little guilty at interrupting her rest, but he wouldn’t be staying for long and he had wanted to make sure she was doing okay.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She smiled tiredly when she realised it was him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It must be awful stuck inside,” Alfred began, glancing around the room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not too bad,” Her voice was wispy, as though the simple syllables cost an effort she didn’t have, “Not much different from being stuck in an office.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did he tell you…” He trailed off, unsure how to explain to his mother that no, he hadn’t assaulted his father.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He did.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t just… attack him,” Alfred tried to clarify, finding it a little difficult to look her in the eye, “He hit me first, mom.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His mom paused for a moment, and Alfred looked back to see her troubled, “This isn’t right.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Alfred took her hand gently, half afraid it would break in his larger hands, “But, Kiku is representing me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I told you he must be serious about you,” Her small smile was smug.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” His reply was quiet, “I suppose he is.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad you’re no longer running from it,” She continued, sounding far too similar to Feliks for Alfred’s comfort, “Your room is untouched, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was rather lifeless, wasn’t it?” Alfred responded, remembering the blandness, “I could hardly be myself, here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought we were doing what was best for you,” His mom said, and Alfred almost wished he hadn’t mentioned it, “It took me far longer than it would’ve any good mother to realise I was smothering you, and your father far worse.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” He tried, trying to calm the way his mom was working herself up, “I forgave you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She coughed for a moment, the few following breaths requiring energy, “I tried to make your father drop this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” He repeated, “I don’t want to talk about it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We are not speaking, right now,” Her hoarse reply made Alfred glance up in surprise, “I told him, if he refused to drop this case against our son, then I refused to acknowledge him as my husband.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom,” Alfred kept his voice quiet, “Please don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She appeared a little worse than before – a little thinner, a little paler, her coughing a little rougher, and it caused an ache somewhere in Alfred’s chest. He didn’t want her fighting things for him, he wanted her to focus on herself… It was clear she had little energy to stand, the last thing Alfred wanted was a worsening in her condition on the account of him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m tired of remaining silent when he’s wrong, when he’s being himself,” She gave Alfred’s hand a weak squeeze, “I realise now that this is something I should have done long ago.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re too sick to take part in this, mom,” He took her hand between the both of his, “Please be careful.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m cleaning my mess, ‘Al, before it’s too late,” She continued, and Alfred could feel the swell of his emotions in his stomach, “Before I’m gone, and all you remember of me is a heartless woman who sat by and did nothing as-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom, please stop,” Alfred interrupted, realising her hand had started to shake between his own, “It’s okay, I know. I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I cannot believe I did the things I did,” She said, regardless, Alfred looking away as her eyes teared up, “You deserve so much better. You deserved loving parents who should’ve raised you with heart and not by force, who listened to what you wanted instead of forcing you to do what we had planned.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred’s voice was weak as he tried, “Mom.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You deserved parents who accepted you for who you were, for who you are, for who you love,” She withdrew her hand to wipe at the tears Alfred hadn’t realised were dripping down his own cheeks, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Let me make this right.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He stood slowly, leaning over her frame on the bed to place a light kiss on her cheek – he was afraid to hug her small figure, not wanting to risk any pain he could cause. He told her it was okay, again, that he was happy, that these things had already happened and could no longer be changed – and called for the nurse when her coughing fit turned into one of pain and blood.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They talked about light subjects until she fell asleep, realising that a mere half hour had been enough time to exhaust her, to bring on a coughing fit so severe he’d been a little afraid.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred opted to let himself out, the fresh air a blessing on his face. He’d checked his appearance before he left, hardly wanting to return to Kiku with eyes ugly and swollen from tears he’d been unable to keep in – the lawyer remained by his car, leaning against the hood with his phone pressed against his face and his professional blank face, which probably would’ve been a scowl on anyone else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku didn’t register his arrival until he was an arm’s length away, his cold façade breaking into a small smile. Alfred merely hugged him, wrapping his arms around the expensive suit and pressing his nose into the other’s neck to breathe a sigh. With his free hand, Kiku rubbed small half circles into the younger’s hip as he talked into his phone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The lawyer was still working, and Alfred had decided his boyfriend had missed enough work because of himself. He reached into the inside of Kiku’s suit blazer, his fingers dipping into the pockets one by one until he found the car keys he was searching for. He pulled away and held the keys up, Kiku cocking an eyebrow at him as Alfred nudged him towards the passenger seat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was odd to see Kiku in the passenger seat, he was always either in the driver’s seat or sat in the back if Carlos was driving them. He also sent Alfred an odd look, a small crease between his eyebrows as he buckled his seatbelt and Alfred started the engine (only after adjusting the seat to give his long legs space to breathe). He wasn’t an awful driver, he’d passed his test – he’d never had need for a car, not when Feliks jumped at the opportunity of speeding their best friends halfway to heart problems.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred didn’t feel himself relax until the estate was no longer visible in the wing mirror, and after that it didn’t take him long to actually enjoy driving the car. It was expensive, it was Kiku’s and it handled beautifully. He rarely cared about cars, but there was something warm to be found in the comfort of Kiku working in the passenger seat as he drove – the lawyer had taken out his laptop, typing away with one hand as he spoke in quiet tones to his phone. Allfred could listen to Kiku speak his mother tongue for hours, he thinks. He watched his boyfriend struggle for a few moments as he waited for the lights to change, eventually laughing and handing Kiku his earphones with the microphone. He received a thankful glance in return.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The two sounds within the car remained Kiku’s quiet voice and the hum of the engine, and Alfred found it to be almost therapeutic – his mind focussed solely on the road ahead and the soft merging of sounds.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It took Kiku’s hand on his thigh to realise the lawyer had spoken to him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I said,” Kiku began, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into Alfred’s thigh, “It’s not uncommon for the accused to be made to take the witness stand.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah,” Alfred let out, “I forgot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yao and I were just discussing it,” Kiku motioned to his phone, on which Yao was currently on loud speaker, “We want to put you through a fake trial, of sorts.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A fake trial?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku hummed as an affirmative, “The witness stand can be a difficult place to be – and with Arthur working beneath J.I to question you, I doubt he’s going to be… very nice.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred couldn’t help his bitter laugh, “You mean, he’s going to be a dick.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Exactly,” Yao’s voice came through Kiku’s phone’s speaker, “The biggest dick.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Some lawyers prefer to drill the witness with difficult questions until they break, slip up, or respond emotionally in some way that causes the jury to doubt their claim,” Kiku informed, ignoring his firm partner.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, what? You want to prepare me for that?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Kiku confirmed, “Between Yao and I, I believe we can cover almost anything Kirkland could ask.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll do it,” Alfred agreed, still enjoying the warm of Kiku’s hand on his thigh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s great,” Yao added, sounding a little too enthusiastic, “It’s always fun to host a fake trial. Should we say, tonight? Bring food.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku hung up on the other man without replying.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The lawyer took over the driving when they stopped to buy food, his eyebrow cocked in Alfred’s direction when he had to adjust the chair. Alfred wasn’t sure why he blushed – perhaps remembering the fact that his height factored into Kiku’s ability to reduce him into someone so small – and instead focussed on placing the food onto the backseat, hoping Kiku would take into consideration its well-being as they drove.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t until they entered an empty lobby, manned by a sole security guard, that Alfred realised the time – realised that most workers had headed home for the day, yet here Kiku was, the both of them heading to the upper floors to meet Yao.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They’d bought extra food in case one of their secretaries had opted to stay for overtime, their suspicions deemed correct when they entered the conference room to find Yong-soo’s feet kicked up onto Yao’s lap.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku waited until they were all happily eating before bringing up the fake trial.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alfred,” His voice was quiet, unheard by the bickering two across the table, “You know that we will not be playing nice, I assume?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I figured.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You need to control yourself as though this it’s a real trial,” Kiku continued, “And remember that we’re not trying to attack you – this is basic preparation.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Alfred confirmed, though he could feel his nerves rise beneath his skin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It might get a little scary,” Yao added from where he sat, “The real trial will be scarier. Kirkland will be scarier.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, y’know,” Yong-soo said as he cleared the table, “Suck it up.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yao slapped the back of the brunette’s head lightly as he walked past.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They set up the room so that Alfred sat at one end, a sole desk in front of him and the rest of the tables moved out of the way to give the lawyers roaming space. It was rather intimidating, but Alfred had suspected that was the intent – and Yong-soo was right, he’d have to suck it up, especially if the real trial was going to be worse.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yong-soo,” Yao started as he quickly scanned the papers in his hand, “You be the judge.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m literally a secretary.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And now you’re literally a judge,” Yao replied, pushing the young man to sit on the only remaining chair.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was daunting, at first – Yao had been the one to start, his transition into his lawyer façade interesting to watch; from the raised eyebrows of Yong-soo, Alfred assumed the secretary agreed. The questions started off easy, slow, how was your relationship with your father? It felt like a warm up and Alfred couldn’t help the way his eyes would travel back to Kiku.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you say you held a lot of anger towards your father?” Kiku asked, eventually.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred blinked, because sure, he’d always found Kiku attractive, but Kiku wearing his suit and leaning against a discarded table with his hardened gaze focussed on Alfred was fucking hot. It was partially scary and under any other circumstance, Alfred would feel attacked; but this was a fake trial and Kiku would soon be replaced by Arthur in the halls of the court.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Alfred answered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that why you assaulted him?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t assault him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But it would make sense, wouldn’t it?” Kiku had pushed himself to stand as he spoke, “In your opinion, this man destroyed your life, forced you to conform to his idea of a perfect son. Is that why you assaulted him?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred couldn’t help his frown, “I didn’t-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Anyone can understand the anger of a child, Alfred,” Kiku interrupted, stalking closer, “When you eventually saw him, all that anger, all that hatred, all those memories of your former self, they came rushing back – and you lashed out, the exertion the only thing to make you feel better.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Alfred tried, “That’s not what happened, he-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it because he was never accepting of who you are?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred had to bite the inside of his cheek to halt his bitter reply, breathing a moment, before he said, “I have never cared what that man thinks of me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Was it because, perhaps, he ruined the first good thing you had?” Kiku asked, and Alfred knew he was asking in place of Arthur.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Because Arthur knew these things, would probably ask these things, yet Alfred couldn’t help the way his hands clenched at his sides. Yes, his father had taken away the first good thing he’d had, it might not have been the best thing, but Arthur would know this. He breathed in slowly through his nose, knowing there was no way he would allow Arthur to get the better of him in trial.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He hit me first,” Alfred decided to reply after a few seconds, “We then scuffled.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Was it easy to hit him?” Kiku returned, “Did it feel good? Was it everything you had imagined it would be?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” He replied, perhaps a little too honestly, “I felt sick, I felt like the next time I saw him would be too soon, I felt like that man was not my father, instead merely a man I shared genetics with.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku paused, seemingly impressed, his eyes glancing over to Yao for a moment. Yao shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Objection,” Yong-soo cut in, though no-one had been speaking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yao sighed, “You’re a judge, you don’t call that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just wanna know, what’s the point here?” Yong-soo asked, “Alfred is doing a tremendously good job at self-control and honestly I’m getting bored.” he sighed, glancing at his nails.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We do seem to have hit a wall,” Yao agreed, and Kiku merely returned to leaning against the discarded table.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So,” Yao began with a tone that sounded suspicious, “I may, or may not, have invited Ivan.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku cocked an eyebrow – Alfred’s eyes widened.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that a good idea?” Alfred questioned, trying to sound more confident than he felt.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be mad,” Yao sent a literal pout in Kiku’s direction, “He’s settling in well, here, considering he just quit the big bad enemy firm.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” Kiku considered aloud, looking over to Alfred, “He is ex-J.I, he knows their systems better than any of us. But, his recent affiliation means he won’t be allowed in the courtroom with us. Are you okay with this?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred’s head nodded without his consent.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His previous involvement with Ivan had never been particularly unpleasant – he remembered the other, briefly, always working with his parents, somehow present in Alfred’s young life. He’d neglected to think about who he’d left behind, but those thoughts had come rushing back the day Ivan had appeared at his door, a letter from his mother in hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ivan remained as Alfred remembered him – distant, endlessly professional and Alfred had to wonder how this man had stumbled into a relationship with someone like Yao. And Yong-soo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It would be best if we were left alone,” Ivan informed after the greetings, nodding towards the other three.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku looked towards Alfred for permission and he nodded – the lawyer gave his shoulder a small squeeze on his way out of the room. It felt a little daunting to be the only one left with someone from his past.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello, Alfred,” Ivan’s voice was as deep as he remembered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Wow, you’re still scary huh</span>
  </em>
  <span> was on the tip of Alfred’s tongue, before he cleared his throat to reply, “Hi.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I suppose I should clear a few things up,” Ivan began, looking through the papers Yao had left behind, “I worked predominantly for your mother, I respect your mother, even if I preferred to avoid affiliation with her husband. She had me deliver the letter to you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred had never looked at it that way, “Was it easy for you to leave?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I had been planning my resignation ever since I learned that your mother would be leaving,” Ivan answered, “Yao just happened to be persuasive enough to speed up my decision.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded, unsure of what else to say – unsure he wanted to think about the ways in which Yao had been persuasive.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not here to be your enemy, I’m here to help.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” Alfred couldn’t help but ask. He needed to know why the latter would even bother trying to help him, especially after so long.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I want to, because Yao asked me to,” Ivan seemed to hesitate, before meeting Alfred’s eyes, “Because your mother asked me to.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred frowned, “She shouldn’t worry herself with this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If I have learned anything, it’s that she is stubborn,” Ivan offered a small smile, “Shall we begin?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taking a deep breath, Alfred nodded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As Kiku had said, Ivan knew Jones International better than any of them. His interrogation had been quick, hardly giving Alfred time to think between answers – Alfred supposed it was a good technique, people tended to be more believable if they were given time to think reasonably. Alfred had slipped up a few times, though held onto Kiku’s words that the opposition were trying to strike an emotional raise from him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They remained within the room for almost an hour, though to Alfred time seemed to drag on for far longer. He knew it was necessary, he knew they couldn’t allow Arthur to get the upper hand merely because Alfred failed to keep a lid on his emotions.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His anger had almost flared when Ivan’s attention had shifted to Kiku, asking about his relationship with Mr Jones, if it was a reason behind his anger towards his father. Alfred chose instead to focus on how tired he was with it all, with his father, with the bullshit court case. It had gone better than he’d expected.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In the end, the entire meeting had been okay – he’d always assumed any run in with Ivan would be memorably distasteful. The latter had left with Yao and Yong-soo, and Alfred didn’t even try to consider their dynamics.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku still had work to finish and Alfred had also been leaving, before realising the light was still on in Antonio’s office. Alfred looked down to the bag of leftovers in his hand and changed direction for the other’s office.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” He said lightly, so that he wouldn’t startle the other.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alfred,” Antonio said in realisation, his voice deeper with the time of night, “How was the fake trial?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was okay,” Alfred answered, before holding up the bag of food, “Hungry?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Halfway through his conversation with Antonio, he glanced to the clock on a wall with a small frown. It was almost ten in the evening – how had Kiku ever made time for him before? The senior associates of the firm never seemed to leave.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you have much left to do?” Alfred asked as Antonio typed, merely out of curiosity.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not too much,” Antonio replied, “I’m actually drafting an inquiry relating to your trial.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just a consideration concerning your mother, what help she may be able to provide.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred paused, half-certain his heart had just stopped in his chest, “My mom? What is there to even consider?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Antonio stopped typing, glancing at Alfred over the top of his computer screen, “We might put her on the witness stand?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I told Kiku I didn’t want her involved with this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Multiple times, for that matter – his mother’s condition wasn’t stable enough for them to question her in a fucking court room, especially considering the fact they’d literally just spent hours hammering Alfred with questions, particularly because the witness stand was a stressful place to be. His mother might not be able to handle that stress, not with her illness, not with her constant exhaustion.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” Antonio continued, pursing his lips for a moment, “Kiku was the one to give us permission to go forward with this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred stood, trying to remember the ways in which he’d spent the last couple of hours controlling his anger. He wouldn’t say he stormed into Kiku’s office, particularly, more so that he entered without knocking, a scowl he couldn’t shake etched onto his face – he’d told Kiku that very afternoon that he didn’t want his mom involved in this. He wouldn’t risk it. Not when he’d seen her struggle to string a few sentences together without falling into a coughing fit.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you I didn’t want her involved in this,” Alfred managed to keep his voice calm, a surprising feat considering the feeling of betrayal sinking in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku slid off his glasses, looking up from a document in his hands, “Sometimes, I have to think like a lawyer – and right now, I am your lawyer.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, what? You completely disregard the one thing I asked of you?” Alfred sunk into the armchair, exasperated, “You told me the witness stand was a difficult place to be, and you want to put my sick mother on it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s essential to our defence, Alfred,” Kiku responded, rubbing the area of his nose where his glasses had been sat, “If she was to come forward about everything, all of the issues from years ago-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t care, Kiku,” Alfred interrupted, “I told you, multiple times, I wouldn’t risk this. I asked this one thing of you, and you… went behind my back and-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Giving Antonio the green flag is hardly going behind your back.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He let out a frustrated sigh – a part of him felt that he was being unfair, Kiku had taken his case pro-bono, for free, when it would cost any other person literal thousands for a mere week of this man’s time. But at the same time, he’d asked Kiku not to involve her in this, shouldn’t Kiku at least respect that? Or even consult him before he gave Antonio the go-ahead?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not the point,” Alfred responded, defeatedly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku appeared to hesitate for a split second, “I think it’s for the best, Alfred.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred stared at the lawyer for a few moments, trying to balance his thoughts without bias. Realistically, Kiku was right, but he’d done exactly what Alfred had said he didn’t want to do and… he was tired. Alfred was just tired.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me talk to her, first,” Alfred decided, hardly happy with himself, “I don’t want lawyers stressing her further.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You make it sound like we’re heartless,” Kiku tried to joke.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred shot the lawyer a look as he left and Kiku sighed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was unsure where he intended to go – it was too late to visit his mom and he didn’t want to risk waking her if he called. It could wait until tomorrow, though Alfred already knew she would agree. She’d made it clear she wanted to help, yet Alfred just wanted her to rest. He hadn’t wanted to drag her into an ugly court case at the fault of family.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was hardly surprising that he found himself back at the lawyer’s apartment; perhaps he needed the comfort, the familiarity, the smell. It would take some time for his new apartment to feel like home and he hesitated to believe how homely Kiku’s apartment felt – they hadn’t known each other that long, this was not something he should’ve been feeling.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred had a talent in over-thinking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What little frustration he felt towards Kiku was not enough to keep himself away, it seemed, as he allowed his eyes to follow the inside of the apartment. The first time he’d seen it, he’d been blown away, had felt awe and disbelief – and now he felt a warmth, a familiarity in the softness of the carpet beneath his feet and the skyline of a dark city through the windows.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sat himself down in front of the window where he’d sat once before, legs crossed beneath him as he allowed himself to breathe. From somehow crying that afternoon with his mother, and the energy of remaining calm through the fake trial, but also his feeling of disappointment with Kiku and the fact he had a trial to attend… He was tired, it was mentally tiring and he wanted to stop thinking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His anger at Kiku was partially misplaced, he was more frustrated by the thought that Kiku was right, that they would have to drag his mother into this purely due to his father’s unfathomable agenda. Conceivably, part of the frustration came from the fact he knew she would agree, because he asked – and useless, he felt useless, her health was deteriorating and he could do nothing but watch, merely hold her hand as she coughed out her lungs. And Kiku. Kiku was doing all of this for him, investing so much time into him, and Alfred would never be able to pay him back. Nothing he did would balance out how much he owed Kiku, even metaphorically – how much Kiku had been there for him when he hadn’t been able to keep himself together like anybody else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How worthless part of him felt, how his mother might die without ever being proud of her only son. He’d never finished college, he’d never tried to restart college, he hardly had a prestigious job and if it wasn’t for Kiku he’d be struggling to pay his fucking rent. How he’d never done anything for her to be proud of him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pushed himself to stand, favoring his ability to compose music over his ability to over-think.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred had left both his guitar and laptop here before Kiku had offered to drive him to visit his mother. He hauled them both over to his favoured spot in front of the window, bringing with him a polaroid camera he’d found in his search for paper. He wondered what the camera had been used to picture, what memories Kiku had enjoyed enough to capture – wondered why he’d never seen any polaroid pictures laying around the apartment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He took a picture of the outside world as he waited for his laptop to start up, wondering how old the dusty item in his hands truly was. The picture came rolling from the slit in the top of the camera and Alfred set it aside to develop.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His portfolio was improving, growing in content that Alfred could be proud of. His commissions didn’t bring in a sufficient amount of money, he merely did it to improve his reputation and put his name out there. Money didn’t play a predominant role in Alfred’s will to make music, it was a by-product of something he could focus on, allow his mind to lose itself in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was rare that his mind thought much as he worked, and perhaps that played reason to his love for the art. To compose, not think, to listen to what he’d made the following day completely unaware of the routes his mind had taken. It was easy to forget if he was focussing on a string of chords, a choice of words or a progression of minors that ignited a particular satisfaction in his heart.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Focussed on his laptop screen burning pixels into his retinas, Alfred all but jumped when Kiku’s voice broke a momentary silence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you still awake?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred glanced down to the clock on his laptop screen before he closed it over, “I was thinking.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“At 1am?” Kiku sounded partially sceptical.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have a lot on my mind,” Alfred didn’t have the energy to be bitter, merely honest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku’s voice sounded closer, “Do you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you been home?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The lawyer sighed, moving closer to Alfred’s seated form before sitting behind him – he then pulled the younger back against his chest, resting his chin atop Alfred’s shoulder and Alfred allowed it to happen, allowed the feeling of Kiku’s breath on his skin to slow his own breathing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Kiku apologised, pressing a gentle kiss to Alfred’s neck.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s the first time I’ve heard you say that,” Alfred couldn’t help but reply, feeling Kiku’s frown against his neck, “You tend to apologise in ways other than words.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t realise you were observing me that much.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re worth observing,” Alfred muttered, more to himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku’s arms tightened around his stomach as he glanced down to the mess of papers in Alfred’s lap, “What are you working on?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A song,” Alfred answered, shuffling the papers into a nice pile atop his laptop.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s 1am.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You weren’t here,” Alfred confessed, now toying with the polaroid camera, “I couldn’t sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Another soft kiss was pressed against his neck.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred turned the camera around, facing it towards himself and clicking the capture button. The sound of the shutter fluttering brought a chuckle from Kiku, and Alfred opted to leave the pre-developed photo near the papers on his laptop.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on,” Kiku murmured quietly, “Let’s get you to bed.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At some point, Alfred wasn’t quite sure when, they fell into bed together. Kiku’s touches were more gentle than usual, his kisses a lot less sparse and pressed across every inch of Alfred his lips could reach. It didn’t take long for Kiku to have Alfred on his back, his clothes gone as he took his time tracing his lips down Alfred’s chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They moved slow, everything a little gentler like Kiku was trying to show his appreciation through mere touches.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred’s gasp was quiet when Kiku’s tongue lapped across his nipple, his back arching as Kiku trailed a hand down his side and to his hip. When Kiku wrapped a hand around him, coaxing him to hardness, he muted Alfred’s moans with his lips until Alfred couldn’t help but buck up into every touch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you-,” Alfred gasped, a hand reaching out to pull at Kiku’s shirt, “Still wearing clothes?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was admiring you,” Kiku murmured, his lips pressing kisses along Alfred’s jaw, “Let me admire you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t a question, but Alfred nodded anyway, biting his lip when Kiku’s lips found their favourite place to leave marks. His hands gripped Kiku’s shirt as the lawyer continued to stroke him and, of course, Alfred wanted more – he wanted everything Kiku had to offer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku pressed his body against Alfred’s, their hips pushed flush together and Alfred groaned at the friction of his dick against Kiku’s suit. He momentarily wondered how many suits of Kiku’s he’d ruined.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The lawyer had moved onto marking Alfred’s chest, taking his time as though he didn’t want to leave an inch of skin untouched.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred was rocking his hips up against the heat above him, completely beneath the mercy of the lips above him. When Kiku looked back up at him, his lips were red and swollen and Alfred couldn’t help the quiet whine in his throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want, Alfred?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You,” Alfred knew his reply wasn’t entirely sensical, “Please.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku understood, anyway, leaning up to kiss Alfred once more before he rid himself of his own clothes. The first press of a slick finger against his entrance was anticipated, yet Alfred gasped anyway, his legs falling open wider for Kiku to fit between. Kiku took his time, stretching Alfred slowly as he kissed the inside of Alfred’s thighs softly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The gentleness was unfamiliar to Alfred, it brought something much deeper than arousal to the blood beating through his veins.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kiku,” Alfred found it hard to raise his voice above a whisper at the third finger, “I’m ready.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The other continued for a few more moments, before using the lube remaining on his hand to slick his own cock. He first leaned over Alfred, his hands placed at either side of Alfred’s head as he pushed in – Alfred stared up, his own mouth hanging open in a silent gasp as he watched the slightest scrunch of Kiku’s eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He waited until Kiku bottomed out, most of the lawyer’s weight pinning him to the bed, before wrapping his legs around the other’s waist.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku leaned down to hover his lips over Alfred’s, not kissing him, merely breathing with him. Alfred leaned up to press his lips against his boyfriend’s, murmuring another </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m ready</span>
  </em>
  <span> into the other’s mouth.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Just as everything else had been that evening, Kiku’s pulled out to start a rhythm just as slow. Alfred held on to Kiku’s back, feeling the shift of muscles with each thrust the lawyer made – it felt far more sensual like this, each drag of Kiku’s cock against his walls causing him to moan out without control.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred tightened his legs around Kiku’s waist, silently urging him to go even the slightest bit faster – Kiku surprised him with a hard thrust and Alfred arched his back, neck bared as Kiku picked up the pace.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lips found the tan skin of his exposed neck and Alfred’s mind felt like a repeated mess of pleas and pleasure, his nails digging into Kiku’s back just a little harder – which merely urged Kiku on, his hips slapping against Alfred’s harder with each thrust as the younger cried out, a mixture of Kiku’s name and faster, fuck, please on his tongue.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The only relief his own aching cock found was when it pressed up against Kiku’s stomach, the motion pulling whines from Alfred’s lips. He pressed his heels into Kiku’s ass harder, wanting nothing more than for the other man to fuck him breathless.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku smirked against his skin, Alfred could feel it, before he pinned the both of Alfred’s wrists above his head. He kept a grip on the wrists with one hand, pressing down with his weight as he began to slam his hips into Alfred – the younger rocked his hips up to meet the thrusts, crying out loud when Kiku dragged his hips lower to press against that spot.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He continued to rock into Alfred like that, drawing out a whine as Alfred arched his back and rutted up against Kiku – the sounds Alfred was making all but drew a growl from Kiku, the low sound deep and prominent as Kiku fucked into him properly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred could feel himself edging, the pressure in his balls tightening as he pushed back against the grip on his wrists – mainly because it was the only thing he could do, his breathing pattern a mess of pants as Kiku’s body slid against his, filling him good enough that he almost didn’t want it to end.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kiku,” He breathed out, “I’m close-oh, please, Kiku-.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku shut him up by kissing him, a little harder than before but more thorough, his body pressing against Alfred’s enough to give his dick the friction he needed. His legs tightened around Kiku so hard he worried, for a moment, he might have bruised the other man – but the thought of Kiku with bruised hips from fucking him this hard had him moaning loud, the coil releasing as he came between the both of them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His thighs were trembling as Kiku continued to rut into him, murmuring praises against Alfred’s sweaty skin that had his heart swelling in fondness and something not quite fathomable.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You feel so good,” Alfred coaxed, his hips jerking in sensitivity, “Fuck, Kiku, please. Come-god, come in me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku groaned, the sound muffled when he bit down on Alfred’s clavicle – causing Alfred to cry out, clenching around Kiku’s cock as the other pumped into him, filling him with come as he rode through his orgasm.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His boyfriend eventually stilled above him, breathing hard as he let go of Alfred’s wrists. As he had done the time before, he kissed the skin on Alfred’s wrists as though it would ease any discomfort. He planted a kiss on Alfred’s cheek, pulling back to smile down on him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Alfred,” Kiku murmured.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred looked up with wide eyes, his heart beating both from the exertion and from the way Kiku was staring at him. With a hand tangled in Kiku’s hair, Alfred pulled him down to kiss him properly, breathing his own thank you between them as though the rest of the world didn’t deserve to hear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He called his mother in the morning, making sure to ask the nurse if she was awake – he didn’t want to interrupt what little rest she managed to find. As he’d expected, his mother had been more than willing to stand as a witness, stating she was prepared to do anything to help. Though he was more than grateful for the sentiment, he remained unhappy that they’d brought her into this.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And what would that mean for his parent’s marriage? It added more complications onto her already-complicated health and Alfred felt nothing but guilt. Standing against one’s husband in court could hardly lead to a healthy marriage, as if the woman needed marital issues on top of everything else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kiku had apologised, and Alfred realised his mother would have probably involved herself with or without his consent. She’d already asked Ivan to help, and Alfred had almost forgotten that the woman was a lawyer herself. She was experienced, a veteran in the courtroom who was already well aware of the complications of the witness stand – she could probably handle herself better than anyone else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t until he was on his way home, a little guilty for having neglected his best friends, that he received a text from Antonio. He didn’t even remember exchanging numbers with Lovino’s boyfriend.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>[‘tonio (three dollar sign emojis)]</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>&gt; The preliminary hearing date has been set: next Tuesday 9am.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>&gt; It should be fine, provided Kirkland doesn’t try to slam us with useless subsidiaries.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>&gt; Also depends on the judge, hopefully we don’t land someone J.I biased.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred sighed, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly. This would all be over, soon. He hoped. He trusted Kiku, Kiku needed his trust, and he had to believe that everything would be fine. Though he remained unprepared to face his own father in a court of law (represented by his ex-boyfriend at that), he had Kiku. He was being represented by his own boyfriend.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was everything that could lead to disorder. At least it would be interesting. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>my tumblr is @heta !! i follow back and with the hetalia renaissance going on i'd love to make some hetalia friends!</p>
<p>Also, I uploaded a new oneshot called <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27182878">Deep Red</a>! If you liked this fic, I'd appreciate it if you checked this one out too!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>second to last chapter!!! oh my god i cant believe it! it's been a ride writing this, even while it's almost over, i can't believe the support i've been getting! i've almost got 60 followers on tumblr?? thats crazy to me!! i'm so thankful to you all! i really hope you enjoy this chapter!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I don’t even have anything to wear,” Alfred all but whined from within Kiku’s wardrobe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could hear Kiku laugh at him and he sighed, his mind running through further excuses to get himself out of going on the shopping trip. Kiku was trying to distract him from the impending stress of the preliminary trial, and he appreciated it, he did, he just didn’t see why they had to go on an excessively long shopping spree. He’d rather spend the weekend inside. With Kiku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could just go naked,” He tried, eyes narrowing at his own clothes hanging within the wardrobe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not entirely opposed to the suggestion.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred sighed, wandering out of the walk-in wardrobe to glare at his boyfriend, “If I leave this wardrobe and you’ve got that smug look on your face I’m gonna-.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to what, Al?” Kiku interrupted, a small smirk pulling at his lips, “It’s bad practice to leave your sentences unfinished.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scowling, Alfred turned to continue his fruitless escapades of whiney clothing searching when Kiku’s hand gripped his wrist, tugging him back into the bedroom. Alfred wanted to roll his eyes, to tease his boyfriend’s antics, but one look at Kiku’s eyes halted him. He was pressed flat against the wall, Kiku’s mouth hovering just over his own –  a kiss never came, though Kiku’s hand dipped beneath the elastic of Alfred’s waistline.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred gasped, partially in surprise but mostly due to the hand wrapping around his cock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku remained silent, his hand stroking Alfred in his underwear as he tried to keep himself in check – a thumb stroked across his slit and Alfred’s back arched from the wall, his lip caught in his teeth to mute his moans. His eyes met Kiku’s and a whimper left his throat; the lawyer was silent, yes, but his entire attention was focused on Alfred.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes followed the swell of Alfred’s lips, watched the scrunch of Alfred’s eyes on a particularly hard stroke – watched the younger come apart, a moaning mess, beneath his hand. Alfred partly felt like he was on display, a piece purely for Kiku, to construct, take apart, and the thought had a shiver running along the length of his spine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With Kiku’s eyes watching him so intently and his hand down his pants, it wasn’t long before his hips were rocking against the other man’s grip, his precum slicking Kiku’s hand. It was almost embarrassing, it should have been embarrassing – except, Kiku appeared nothing but proud at the fact he impacted the younger so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hands were clutching the material of Kiku’s shirt, his forehead pressing against the lawyer’s neck as his hips trembled, stuttered, Kiku’s grip tightening and pace quickening as he came against the inside of his pants.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku continued to stroke him, even as his legs threatened to crumble in oversensitivity. Only then did his boyfriend kiss him, kissed the remaining oxygen from his lungs as the white light of his mind began to clear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go clean up,” Kiku said, placing one last kiss at the corner of his mouth, “We have shopping to do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred allowed himself to fall back against the wall, his breathing laboured, “What was that for?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku merely hummed in response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate you,” Alfred muttered, his voice entirely without hatred.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Although he’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>agreed </span>
  </em>
  <span>to accompany Kiku shopping, it didn’t mean he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to. As if he didn’t know Kiku was using this as an excuse to distract and spoil him. Alfred kept that in mind as he dressed, slowly, deliberately meticulous. He could buy Kiku a gift, even the tables a little, perhaps show Kiku he wasn’t here for materialism… (Though he enjoyed it.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emerging into the living room, he found Kiku attired in the most casual clothes he’d ever witnessed the other man adorn. He couldn’t keep his feet from pausing, eyes following the black sleeves of Kiku’s sweater down to the light jeans tracing his thighs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not exactly a stranger to the public,” Kiku answered, attempting to fix the hair that now hung in his face. Al thought he looked cute, it was nice to see him look so unprofessional, “I don’t plan on being featured in next week’s issue of Honda Kiku spotted eating ice cream in public.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We couldn’t have the country knowing one of its richest men prefers mint ice cream,” Alfred agreed, watching as Kiku fixed his turtleneck one last time, “What an awful discovery.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s superior.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It tastes like toothpaste.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku rolled his eyes, “Careful, or only one of us will be enjoying ice cream this afternoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I already brushed my teeth, thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Brat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred didn’t even try to avert his eyes from appreciating Kiku’s thighs when the older man turned around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t that Alfred hated shopping, or buying things, or sidestepping people in overcrowded streets – it wasn’t that he didn’t care for it, either, because he most definitely enjoyed returning home a few bags heavier. He’d just never really expected to be led around a store, his fingers grasped loosely by Kiku’s as he pondered over materialism.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He still planned on buying the lawyer something; a feat proving difficult considering the man had enough money to buy anything he ever wanted or needed. Alfred was learning that it was less about money and more about practicality, something that Kiku would appreciate for itself and not its price tag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku wasn’t even trying to hide the fact he was out to spoil Alfred, buying anything that Alfred even remotely hinted towards liking. Their bags were slowly growing and Alfred didn’t feel too bad – Kiku seemed to be happy with the fact Alfred was allowing himself to be spoiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We could buy you a suit for Tuesday,” Kiku said, pausing outside a shop window.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The preliminary hearing – Alfred had been trying to forget.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have clothes I could wear,” He replied, because, really, he had clothes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps,” The lawyer responded, though he pushed open the door to the store anyway, “We can buy you a suit, anyway.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you had Erzsébet for this kind of thing,” Alfred pondered, eyes running over the selection of materials he hadn’t the slightest inkling about, “Would she be offended?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku snorted, “Who do you think owns this brand?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Alfred let out as a distantly familiar face greeted them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Andrei,” Kiku addressed, smiling small, “I’m aware Erzsébet is busy – I was wondering if you could help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Busy,” The redhead – Andrei – snorted, “Her second lunch with Secretary Janssens this week, I have a feeling this goes beyond the needs of business.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Secretary Manon Janssens, Alfred realised; Erzsébet had the highest standards of anyone he’d ever met. He tried not to stare wide-eyed at the other. A member of the government and a passive-aggressive stylist. Incredible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve heard,” Kiku said, before unhooking a dark suit blazer and handing it to the other, “You’ll be able to get the measurements from Erzsébet, I assume?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrei nodded, taking the material, “Pretty sure she complained about leg length the entire time, but, I’ll get them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After exchanging thanks and farewells, Kiku led Alfred out of the tailors and onto a street growing busier with the lunch hour. Despite Alfred’s previous thoughts that domesticity brought all things dangerous and uncertain, it felt good – being able to brush knuckles with Kiku in public, for the other man to genuinely enjoy spending time with him… for Alfred to feel utterly at home regardless of surroundings, when the lawyer was present. It was nice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It made permanency appealing, and Alfred knew he’d grown far too attached far too quickly, but how could he not when Kiku looked at him like he was the only fucking star in the sky?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ice cream?” Kiku asked, adjusting his hood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it’s not mint,” Alfred agreed, grinning when Kiku’s lips quirked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they began their route towards whatever ice cream place Kiku was craving, Alfred’s eyes ran over the de-coloured sign of a rather ambiguous store front. He used their entwined fingers to tug the lawyer into the store, taking in its vintage insides as Kiku followed. Alfred wasn’t particularly certain what the store was supposed to sell, but he wandered down an aisle regardless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It sold a little bit of everything, Alfred gathered as his eyes glanced from comics to clothes. A perfect place for someone with no idea what to get as a gift.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was he even supposed to buy for someone like Kiku? Socks? Tea cups? Alfred was left rather clueless, allowing his feet to wander him aimlessly through the store. Eventually, his eyes grew distracted by a collection of cameras on display – cameras of all eras, of all designs and uses. Kiku already owned an old, dusty version of one of the polaroid cameras on display, though Kiku’s camera failed to develop pictures vibrantly. Everyone could find a use for a camera… probably. At least this one would work properly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glanced over his shoulder to see his boyfriend peering through books that looked bigger than any one man should read, before picking up the small camera box and heading to the desk to pay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku glanced at his bag curiously when they exited the shop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you buy?” He asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t buy mint ice cream and I’ll consider telling you, Mr Honda.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Kiku mumbled, though he agreed to freeing them both from the mint ice cream.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Predictably, Alfred was the worst person to leave the power of flavour picking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku had sent him to buy the ice cream, any ice cream, claiming a table and dumping their bags as he waited. In a slight panic, Alfred ordered six scoops of ice cream flavours he’d never even heard of, staring at the poor girl holding the ice cream scoop with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And one mint scoop. He wasn’t entirely cruel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you plan on eating all of that?” Kiku asked amusedly when he returned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lovino could probably eat more than this to himself, in one sitting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lawyers nose scrunched up in reply, and Alfred laughed. He handed over the bag containing the camera, figuring it would hardly be a surprise. It was just a little something he’d wanted to do – it wasn’t like Kiku had to appreciate it, or would even care for something so mundane. And yet, Alfred had wanted to buy it for him anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s for me?” Kiku questioned, waiting for Alfred’s affirmative before peering inside, “A camera?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your other one was left neglected,” Alfred explained, instead focussing on the ice cream, “Dusty in some clutter cupboard, and I figured, why not have a new camera… for new memories? I guess it’s kind of the same, but this one is just better because your other one was ancient and honestly-.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred,” Kiku interrupted his rambling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred glanced up, “What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love it,” Kiku informed, and Alfred really didn’t want to think about the things the look in Kiku’s eyes did to his stomach, before the lawyer leaned across the small table and kissed him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad,” Alfred said, a little relieved, voice a little small.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I always did enjoy photography.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He frowned, “Why did you never use the other one?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Busy,” Kiku answered, taking a small spoon of the weird green ice cream, “Never had the right person to photograph.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred mentally refused to blush for the second time that day, “You can take pictures of other mundane things. Like trees. Or the sky.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Kiku’s smile was small, “But, you’re better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead of rolling his eyes at his boyfriend, Alfred, alternatively, attempted to ignore how hard he was falling for the man sat across from him. Perhaps it was a little frightening, to have so much invested in someone – even if said person enjoyed mushrooms with their breakfast and mint ice cream elsewhere, Alfred couldn’t help the way his insides came apart in adoration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred spent the car journey home looking through the things Kiku had purchased, finding mostly clothes he’d probably leave at Kiku’s apartment eventually. One thing did catch his eye – earrings. Simple, silver circles. He hadn’t even seen the lawyer buy them and wondered when the latter had even noticed his ears were pierced. The diamonds following the curves of silver probably cost more than Alfred could think to make in a year.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Glancing over at Kiku, Alfred, albeit cliché, felt his heart clench.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He never wore earrings, but his ears were pierced all the same – it was a nice gesture and Alfred didn’t hesitate to insert the metal through his ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His apartment was devoid of both his friends by the time he and Kiku returned, the latter carrying the majority of bags despite Alfred’s protests. Because, of course Kiku was a real gentleman, of course Kiku would spend a ridiculous amount of money on him and walk him to his door, bags in hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku appeared oddly fitting in Alfred’s bedroom, his casual clothes hardly abrupt against the modernity of his surroundings. Alfred didn’t care to be discreet as he leaned against the door of his bedroom, eyes scanning across his boyfriend in unbridled appreciation. The lawyer placed the bags down to one side, momentarily distracted as he peered around the bedroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have any other plans today?” Kiku asked, raising an eyebrow when he realised he was being watched.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred shook his head, “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” The lawyer replied, leaning up on his toes to plant a kiss atop Alfred’s mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unable to stop himself, Alfred smiled into the kiss, allowing his hands to find purchase on Kiku’s neck as he led the younger across the room and to the bed. Alfred found himself sprawled out completely, Kiku straddling his lap as he licked into the younger’s mouth. His hands travelled down Kiku’s back, tracing the curves of the lawyer’s muscles through his shirt – he hesitated momentarily, before cupping Kiku’s ass and squeezing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chuckling, Kiku’s mouth travelled along his jaw; the combination of his boyfriend’s mouth and the way they rocked together had Alfred’s breath stuttering in his throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Piercings are a good look on you,” Kiku murmured, his teeth tugging lightly at the silver in his ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Heat flushed through Alfred, and oh, he’d never realised how sensitive his ears were before. Kiku licked a stripe up the shell of his ear and he shuddered, hands gripping Kiku’s ass even harder – pulling them flush together, causing the two of them to groan in unison.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, their clothes began to pile together on Alfred’s bedroom floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku was now straddling his bare thighs, his hardening cock pressing against Alfred’s hip as he kissed Alfred breathless. The younger pulled away, his face flushed and lips swollen as his own dick strained against Kiku’s ass as they continued to rock together, intimate but very much unsatisfactory.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Al,” Kiku began, a shiver running down Alfred’s spine, “Perhaps, you could fuck me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred paused, eyes glancing up from Kiku’s kissed red lips, “Are… you sure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His boyfriend rutted particularly hard against him in answer, and Alfred groaned out at the friction between his dick and Kiku’s ass. He nodded, reaching across to his bedside drawer to retrieve the lube – a feat proven difficult with Kiku straddling his lap. He handed the bottle to Kiku, a little unsure how he’d prefer things to occur.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d never thought much about their positions during sex – he knew he preferred to bottom, and Kiku preferred to top; but there was something exhilarating to be found in the fact that Kiku wanted Alfred to fuck him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku merely poured the lube onto Alfred’s fingers, guiding his hand down between them.. Alfred didn’t have time to hesitate as Kiku kissed him, his finger sliding into the tight heat slowly. His own cock was leaking between them as he pumped his finger into Kiku, the only sign of Kiku’s reaction was the hitched breathing, the slight swaying of his hips as Alfred worked him open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Alfred added a second finger, Kiku’s forehead pressed against the crook of his neck, his breathing growing uneven as the seconds passed – Alfred knew the discomfort of being stretched when your body wasn’t used to it, he wanted to make Kiku feel good, wanted to be good to Kiku. Good for Kiku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At three fingers, Alfred had shifted them both so Kiku could lay down – he’d been straining his thighs, before, all but riding Alfred’s fingers in an image Alfred would never be able to unsee. Alfred kept the pace slow, scissoring Kiku and pressing deeper until he heard the moan escape the lawyer’s lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred might have been the one to finger his boyfriend open, to fuck him, yet not an ounce of him felt like he was in control of the situation. Kiku was half-lidded, murmured praises bringing the blush to Alfred’s ears and Alfred wanted to be good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sheen of sweat was causing strands of Kiku’s hair to stick to his forehead and Alfred considered the thought that it was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen. The lawyer laid breathless, his eyes scrunching in pleasure as he held Alfred’s free hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, Kiku placed a hand on Alfred’s chest and pushed him to lay against his headboard – he then moved to straddle Alfred once more, his hand reaching down to slick lube across Alfred’s dick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With hands placed atop Alfred’s shoulders, Kiku began to lower himself onto Alfred’s cock. Alfred held Kiku’s hips, aiding the lawyer to move slowly – they both gasped when Alfred’s tip pressed against Kiku’s ass, and they both moaned as Alfred’s head finally pushed in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred was louder, even from where it was muffled as he placed kisses along Kiku’s clavicle. His thumbs rubbed circles into Kiku’s hips as the lawyer seated himself, and he began to doubt how long he’d be able to last like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a shuddering breath when Kiku had fully seated himself, his muscles tense to prevent himself from rutting up into his boyfriend; his mind felt afloat, pleasure curling like stars in his stomach as Kiku breathed a little heavier, fingers carding slowly through Alfred’s curly blonde hair like he was the one who needed comforting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God,,” Kiku murmured, pressing a kiss to Alfred’s forehead, “You feel so good, baby boy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred groaned as Kiku experimentally moved his hips, Kiku’s walls clenching around him tightly – it started slow, a swivel of Kiku’s hips, Alfred’s grip on the lawyer’s waist tightening as he fought to hold himself together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Kiku began to rock against him, Alfred’s entire body felt aflame, almost crying out when Kiku began to ride him properly. He supported Kiku’s weight the best he could, something proving difficult with the pleasure searing through him and quaking his muscles. Kiku felt so good, so tight, and Alfred could feel himself slipping, his grasp on reality shifting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Al,” Kiku groaned, dropping himself down onto Alfred’s cock harder, “Please,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred could feel his brain practically short circuit at Kiku’s voice, shaky and pleading. He’d never heard the lawyer sound so desperate. So he complied, his hips snapping upwards and pulling a choked moan from Kiku, his loudest yet– and when Alfred found the right angle, Kiku spasmed around him, his nails dragging lines across Alfred’s shoulders. Alfred’s hips faltered, the coiling pleasure almost too much as he fucked up into his boyfriend. His moans were growing incomprehensible and he felt an utter mess.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku,” He let out in an almost-whine, “I’m gonna – I’m so close.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku clenched around him, hushing him when he let out a sob, “Not yet, baby boy, just a little longer. Touch me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And so Alfred did, wrapping his hand around Kiku’s leaking cock between them – he kept his grip tight, Kiku all but fucking into his fist as he rode Alfred harder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please, please,” Alfred whined, desperate, his cock aching, “I need to – Kiku, shit, I can’t-.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come for me, angel,” Kiku managed to gasp out, “You’ve done so well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred allowed himself to finally chase release, rutting his hips harder into the other when Kiku tangled a hand in his hair, his hips swivelling as he pulled Alfred’s head back to kiss him harshly, Alfred cried out into the other’s mouth, pleasure snapping through him as he came, buried in Kiku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku rode him through his orgasm and Alfred tightened his hand around Kiku’s cock, stroking him until the lawyer spilled between them, come coating both of their stomachs. His boyfriend continued to kiss him, even as Alfred’s moans grew quiet and higher pitched..</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was unsure how much of the sweat coating his skin was his or Kiku’s – and figured it hardly mattered when there was come cooling where it had splashed against his stomach. He gingerly pulled out of Kiku, who collapsed next to him atop the bed; they continued to breathe in the silence, allowing their lungs to recover from the exertion in sync.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to change these sheets,” Alfred breathed into the silence, skin tingling in familiar ecstasy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku laughed, airy and quiet, “Now you know how it feels.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have a cleaner,” Alfred retorted, nudging his boyfriend with his leg, “That doesn’t count.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to shower, first,” Kiku pushed himself up, looking down at Alfred with a fond smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred groaned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred awoke to find Kiku, sat to one side of the sofa and eating cereal, holding the gaze of Feliks – who sat at the other side of the sofa, their legs folded beneath their chin as they watched Kiku eat. He watched his boyfriend and friend for a moment, realising with a small smile that Kiku was wearing his clothes. It was a nice change. Not so frighteningly domestic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cleared his throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku glanced up, a smile tugging at his lips, “Good morning, Al.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wearing his clothes, eating his food – Alfred felt wholly content.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks raised their eyebrows, “Did you, like, stay here last night?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Alfred replied, deadpan, “He broke in this morning to eat our food and steal my clothes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ignored his friend's heart-eyes as he sat between them on the sofa, deflating into the cushions with his morning-hazed mind. Kiku shifted slightly, moving just enough for their thighs to press together – the lawyer then continued to eat as Alfred began to wake up, his eyes feeling puffy from the hours of sleeping.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t long before Kiku finished, pushing himself up and wandering into the kitchen. He raised his eyebrows when he heard the lawyer begin to wash up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s sweet when he’s in a good mood,” Alfred said, more to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friend snorted, “And when he’s not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hot as hell.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks probably rolled their eyes, but Alfred was distracted by the reappearance of his boyfriend. Kiku picked up a bag Alfred hadn’t realised had been sitting on the arm chair, before crossing the room and placing a soft kiss atop Alfred’s forehead. Feliks might have cooed, but Alfred chose within that moment to ignore them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to go,” Kiku started, regretfully, “Would you prefer I pick you up Tuesday morning?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d almost forgotten, “Oh. Uh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or, would you prefer staying with me Monday night?” Kiku continued, one hand gently pushing through Alfred’s hair, “I may be working late, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred nodded, and Kiku leaned down to kiss him goodbye. The lawyer then left, wearing Alfred’s clothes and his own suit in a damn bag. He watched the other disappear through the front door, his bottom lip worried between his teeth; he didn’t feel as bad as he’d assumed he might, with the seconds until the court date falling away like dead leaves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was likely Kiku he had to thank for that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seeing Kiku in his clothes was a sight Alfred could grow familiar with – it was a warm feeling, satisfactory without fear of it slipping through his fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s Tuesday?” Feliks asked, moving to lay their head in Alfred’s lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred glanced down at his friend with a half-shrug, “Prelim hearing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could feel better, but I could feel much worse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks looked up at him in consideration, “It seems, like, serious. Between you two, I mean.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” He responded, “How are things with Toris?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Interesting,” Liks replied, grinning up at him, “He’s good. Like, as a person, you know? Plus, I think he must like, work out cus he can totally throw me arou-.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred shoved Feliks from his lap without regret. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unsurprisingly, Alfred had remained an anti-fan of the courtroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The morning had approached so quickly he hardly remembered the past couple of days. A cocktail of anticipation and worry often had that effect – Kiku had been a key comforter, assuring him that not much could derail the hearing that morning. And if it did, Honda Kiku was prepared, Alfred knew that, yet one simple side track of thoughts made him feel sick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t that law school had been particularly awful, though he’d never been a fan of the betraying competitiveness; how easy his classmates would throw each other to the dirt at the chance of extra credit. He’d never been fond of the power dynamics within the court itself, the need to appease a judge and a jury he’d probably never see again. He found nothing appealing to be found within vocal bargaining, persuasive speech leaving tongues trained in money.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sitting there, behind a wooden desk below the Judge resurfaced an array of nostalgia he’d never enjoyed – and would probably never enjoy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite his own unease, Kiku was far more relaxed within the courtroom of distrust. Before they’d even exited the car, Kiku had squeezed his hand and reminded Alfred that it would be okay. That Alfred could trust him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku was a calculative man, observant, and that’s why he did so well within such circumstances.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Playing the accused was not something Alfred could say he’d ever experienced before. It was rather mundane and everything he had expected it to be – his name, his plea, the declaration that any further trial would be dependant on the evidence provided. The thing about preliminary hearings was that it could be the end, finished, the trial dismissed due to a lack of evidence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as Alfred hoped this would be his last appearance in court, when had he ever been so lucky before?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Antonio was sat in the first row, behind them, Lovino at his side; Feliks had sent him a flurry of good luck texts, they had a class that morning with attendance already on the edge of dismissal. Lastly, his father sat at a separate desk to the right, Arthur sat aside him with an air of superiority. Or, rather, narcissism.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred exhausted half of his attention on refusing to look in their direction – a waste, considering he had no option but to watch Arthur as the man opened the case. Of course, his opening spiel was nothing but praise for his boss, and Alfred’s petty side wanted nothing more than to tune out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I also find it relevant to mention,” Arthur eventually said, after his ‘Mr Jones is one of the most reputable citizens of this country’ bullshit, “The leeway Alfred Jones has been granted – he was out of custody and without bond, something unacceptable considering the charges he may be facing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku, of course, remained silent. There was an appropriate time to speak, regardless of Arthur’s accusations.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And though there were no witnesses for this unjustified assault on Mr Jones, I would like to bring forth a case to dismiss the authenticity of the defendant’s sole witness claim.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred couldn’t help the way he glanced up in shock, hardly expecting Arthur to target his mother already – of course, they were aware of the witnesses to be present, Alfred just hadn’t expected them to dismiss her before she’d even said a word. Arthur’s approach seemed to be more direct, abrupt… Less calculated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“On what grounds?” The Judge, an older woman with rather sharp features, questioned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Medical, your honour,” Arthur answered, retrieving a collection of papers from the desk, “Mrs Jones is currently beneath the influence of a variation of medication, many of which render the conscious thought unprincipled. I do not believe Mrs Jones’ recollection of events will be one-hundred percent reliable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt the beginnings of anger prickling beneath his skin – his father was completely willing to drag his mom into the dirt, to disregard her as mentally capable when Alfred knew she was mentally comprehensible. She may have had moments in which she struggled to talk, but he’d yet to witness unprincipled speech. It was complete bullshit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Objection,” Kiku called, the calmest interruption Alfred had ever witnessed in court, “Do you have medical evidence for this claim?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do, actually,” Arthur walked towards the Judge’s bench, holding the papers out as an offer, “A medical report, conducted by the doctor under which Mrs Jones is a patient.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A doctor his father had paid, to look after her at the Jones residence – a doctor under his father’s payroll, able to bias any argument for medical opinion to favour his father. It wasn’t fair, nor just, but it was exactly his father’s form of retaliation; and Alfred was angry, angry that his father would so easily do this to her, that he’d been corrupt for so long such a thing was no problem.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Alfred wanted to wipe the smug smile from Arthur’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t realise he’d been gripping the edge of the desk until Kiku spared him a warning glance; he relaxed his arms, urging himself to appear calm. Kiku had a fucking talent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a brief silence in the courtroom as the Judge scanned the file Arthur had handed over, her brow creasing slightly before she sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mr Honda, Mr Kirkland – approach the bench.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pair of lawyers approached the Judge’s bench and there was a lapse of quiet, though tense, words. Arthur appeared to bristle slightly, through which Alfred assumed something was being said in his favour – the taller lawyer was the first to leave, though Kiku lingered a moment to bow his head in thanks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will need time to read and consider this report,” The Judge announced, before looking at Kiku, “Mr Honda, you have until we reconvene to consider your response or submit something of your own. Court adjourned.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room seemed to stand in unison, the Judge disappearing from sight almost as quick as Kiku did. He already had his phone in hand, prepared to make a phone call. Or three. Kiku was set in lawyer mode, his gait and tone professional, his smiles to please and his words to persuade. They had yet to present their own case, but Arthur had thrown them a rather dangerous curveball.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred disliked admitting it, but a lot of their case had been built around his mother’s statement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let a long breath, turning on his seat to face Lovino and Antonio.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino offered him a smile, “Kirkland somehow turned into a bigger dick, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Alfred glanced to ‘Tonio, “What do you think he’s doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku?” Antonio asked, and he nodded, “Most likely following up hearsay, probably someone involved with medicine – hopefully a doctor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should probably step out,” Lovino suggested, shrugging, “Take a breather. You don’t know how long this might drag on for.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred nodded, standing to do just that. He didn’t even spare his accusers a glance, figuring he owed them nothing as he left the courtroom. It somehow felt easier to breathe past those wooden doors, the air flowing to his lungs and clearing his mind. Things could have been progressing worse, the trial hadn’t even started properly and Arthur was attempting to dismiss their witness – they still had to file through the entire assault case and recollection of events.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He retrieved his phone, finding the correct name before tapping call. The dull call tone felt unending, until it stopped, though no one greeted him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mom? Is everything okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” She croaked, sounding anything but, “Aren’t you supposed to be busy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Adjourned, for now,” Alfred informed, taking a seat on one of the benches outside the courtroom, “He’s trying to dismiss you as a viable witness”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. I informed Kiku he would try to do that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku had been prepared, and Alfred had no idea – he just hoped the lawyer was calling the right people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s sigh was quiet, “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“People change, I see that now,” His mom replied, her hoarse voice weak over the static of the call, “He’s no longer the man I fell in love with – but, he is the product of the man I fell out of love with. It’s not the end of the world.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?” He asked, prompting a more normalised path of conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mother couldn’t attend, even as a witness – her condition wouldn’t allow it, meaning her statement had to be given in the form of a declared written statement. Alfred assumed the Judge already had the statement, had perhaps already read the recollection in preparation for the prelim. It was up to Kiku to validate said statement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t see Kiku again until the court began to reconvene, the lawyer offering nothing but a small smile to ease Alfred’s worry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you done what you needed to do, Mr Honda?” The Judge asked after the courtroom fell silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku offered her his sly professional smile, “Yes, your honour. Two further witnesses, I do believe they have just arrived.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Two?” The Judge asked, perplexed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doctor Nguyen, Mrs Jones’s doctor before she was wrongfully discharged,” Kiku answered, and Arthur practically bristled, “And, nurse Mei Xiao – for a later defence.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very well, let us hear from Doctor Nguyen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred vaguely remembered the pretty face of the doctor who now took to the witness stand, her aura professional as she stated her name and pledged to speak the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Her words were clear and precise, and eventually Kiku stood to question her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doctor Nguyen,” He began, leaning back against the front of Alfred’s desk, “Thank you for coming on such short notice. When did you last see Mrs Jones? And, in your medical opinion, how was she?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I last saw Mrs Jones a week ago. Her condition had been deteriorating, as predicted – I had been adamant that she remain within our care, though Mr Jones refused to even consider my opinion.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku shot a quick look in Mr Jones’s direction, unreadable, before continuing, “And her mental state, had it also been deteriorating?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dr Nguyen shook his head, “Not to my knowledge, her illness had yet to cause any significant damage to her mentality – other than stress and worry, of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And the medication? Is it known to be detrimental for the mind?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” The doctor then frowned towards the accuser’s table, “I would like to know how the medical report came to be – there are no proven occurrences that this medication has ever obscured a patient’s mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see,” Kiku hummed in fake thought, “There are no theories to support why Mrs Jones’s recollection may be unreliable? Unprincipled?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mr Honda, there is not even one medical journal to suggest the possibility – such a claim is something that demands research, as a doctor I have a responsibility to warn my patients of all possible side effects, especially concerning something that may damage my patient’s mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for your time, Dr Nguyen. No further questions.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Judge, who had been listening closely until this point, then sighed, “It’s unfortunate that my decision must be rushed – it is one doctor’s opinion against another’s, and I have chosen to allow the court to hear Mrs Jones’s statement. I will decide for myself the value of these words.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred couldn’t help his deflated sigh of relief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mrs Jones’s letter left the courtroom in a silent shock – Alfred could feel it, his father’s anger, Arthur’s patience, Kiku’s mild satisfaction. Of course, there was nothing in the letter Alfred hadn’t known, hadn’t been told before; his mother had not been quiet about her regrets, about the things she should’ve done. Hearing it a second time did not aid Alfred in digesting the words, though, and he was left feeling a little hollow. Bare, for the entire courtroom to see.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were few people within the courtroom that knew him for him, yet they knew about sections of his life that had impacted and changed him permanently – it wasn’t a nice feeling, being on display like this, allowing countless strangers into the privacy of his own life when he’d remained quiet about it for so long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mother had mentioned their estrangement, his father’s aggression, the strain, their reconciliation – her illness, how she knew she’d been wrong, but had been too blind to stand against his father, and how she was attempting to rebuild those bridges. She also discussed her belief that Alfred had not done the deed claimed by the accused, that his father had told her they’d had a scuffle. A scuffle was not a common assault misdemeanour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She called her husband a liar, a man blind to anything other than his own wants. A failure of a father.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred had averted his gaze as Kiku read the letter aloud, stared at his hands in his lap and tried to ignore the furious glare his father attired – tried to ignore the heavy-set numbness in his stomach when his mother’s letter mentioned she’d spend what little time she had left loving her son the way a mother should.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To finalise my defence,” Kiku announced as the courtroom settled. “I would like to call forward Mei Xiao to the witness stand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The young face that took to the witness stand was vaguely familiar within Alfred’s mind, though from where he was unsure – Kiku had said she was a nurse, so it was possible he knew her face in passing. It felt like a little more than that, somewhat more personal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was with a memorable twinge to his nose that he remembered – the night in the hospital his father had punched him, there had been a night shift nurse present who ensured his nose was not broken. Alfred was certain it was the same nurse, after which he’d found himself at Feliks’. But, how could Kiku possibly know that? How could he possibly know which medical staff had been present?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ms Xiao, it is to my knowledge that you work at the same hospital as Dr Nguyen. Correct?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded her head and then spoke, “Correct.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is also to my knowledge that you’ve seen both Mr Jones and his son once before. Correct?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Correct.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku then nodded, “And, under what circumstances did you see them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, um… I was working my usual late shift when I was distracted by a minor disturbance,” The nurse looked from Alfred to Mr Jones, “I saw that man punch the defendant, I then made sure the poor boy hadn’t broken anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did the defendant hit Mr Jones first? Was Mr Jones’s reaction mere self defence?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The nurse shook her head, “The man – Mr Jones? – seemed rather aggressive. I don’t think he liked what the defendant had said.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Ms Xiao,” Kiku shifted his attention to the Judge, “Just a day prior to the accused assault, the witness claims to have seen Mr Jones, unprovoked, assault his own son in the very same hospital. If anything, the defendant was the one to rise in self-defence, not Mr Jones – the idea that this man, a valued member of society, has made such claims is undeniably unacceptable. I do believe Mr Jones’s reputation will be in tatters after this trial, your honour.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Judge offered no comment to Kiku’s words, though she didn’t appear awfully off put by them, either – Alfred was unsure how the trial was progressing, there was no jury to read the faces of, only a Judge whose decision it would be to progress the trial further. Kiku’s defence was strong, convincing and he hadn’t even finished his case yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred was yet to take the witness stand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His palms had grown clammy in apprehension, wiping them against his suit pants a mere temporary aid as he approached the stand at the front of the court. Where he’d felt on display before, through personal information and false accusations, only worsened here – he tried to ignore the faces in front of him, tried to focus on staying calm. He needed to stay calm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, under pains and penalties of perjury?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred nodded once, “I swear.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred,” Arthur began like they were friends, “Your relationship with your father, was it a good one?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” He replied, tone tight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur clasped his hands together, “Could that be, perhaps, why you attacked him that night?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t attack him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was he abusive?” Arthur continued, an attempt to shine a brighter light on Mr Jones.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except, Alfred had been prepared, “Not physically.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pausing, Arthur’s eyes narrowed slightly, “So the assault was revenge for the years of mental strain?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred took a deep breath, regaining his foothold in calmness, “It was self-defence, after he slammed a fist into my face.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lying on the witness stand is illegal, Alfred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not lying,” He said, just as monotone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And your relationship with Mr Honda, could that have also played a factor?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unconsciously, Alfred’s eyes widened – he’d known Arthur to be a dick, but he’d never expected this. Alfred didn’t care that their relationship had been outed, Alfred wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality nor would he ever be ashamed of dating Kiku. But, that wasn’t anywhere near the point – the point was that Kiku was one of the most appraised lawyers within the fucking city, his reputation was a clean slate the man had worked hard to build and being outed like this was only bad for business.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred couldn’t be responsible for damaging Kiku’s reputation – with his reputation came his business, his work, his clients, everything Kiku stood for. The country’s view of Kiku as a lawyer could not be impacted by his decision to represent Alfred pro-bono.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, as Arthur had stated, lying on the witness stand was illegal. Punishable by perjury.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The courtroom seemed to have fallen into a shocked silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Objection!” Kiku saved him from the decision, standing with his hands braced atop the desk, “Irrelevancy, your honour. I don’t believe Mr Kirkland should target personal standings amidst his failure to accept defeat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur spun on his feet, “I don’t think I’m the-.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s quite enough, Mr Honda, Mr Kirkland,” The Judge interrupted, tone scalding, “Do you have any more questions for the defendant?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, your honour,” Arthur answered, stalking back to his desk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you, Mr Honda?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mrs Jones covered anything I could ask, your honour,” Kiku replied, sitting down calmly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very well. This is a mess of a situation and frankly, Mr Jones, it’s hard to believe the things you have been accused of in return of your accusation,” The Judge said to his father and Alfred found it a little difficult to breathe, “However, I do believe them and quite rightly I’m disgusted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred glanced towards Kiku, his heart beating too fast to fathom within his chest – Kiku’s face was blank, as expected, though his eyes were quite literally shining. A good thing, perhaps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Judge had chosen to believe his mother’s words, a relief so thorough Alfred could feel it calm his veins.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am dismissing this case, and your claim against your son,” The Judge stated and Alfred’s eyes widened, his ears barely registering the words that followed, “And, frankly, I believe your son could pursue his own case against you – that is a decision for the defendant alone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked to him in expectancy, but Alfred was still frozen in his seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“May I talk with my client?” Kiku asked, his voice bringing Alfred’s mind back into the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have two minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred,” Kiku spoke quietly, leaning in to be heard, “This is your chance to retaliate, to bring forth a case that could destroy your father.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It may have been ridiculous, except, Alfred had no desire to pursue prosecution against his father. Those were things of the past, things he’d learned to move on and forget – he wouldn’t forgive his father, but today alone had mentally exhausted him. He never wanted to see the man again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To any other, it could feel like losing, like giving up and accepting what had happened – but, it felt like finality, like leaving behind all the toxic parts of himself. If that was what giving up felt like, then he didn’t care, the quicker that man left his life the better. He preferred it this way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred shook his head, hoping Kiku would understand, “I would rather not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku appeared hesitant, “Are you sure? He deserves everything bad coming his way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can’t we just… finish this mess today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Realisation flooded Kiku’s eyes and he smiled, secretive and small, just between them, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lawyer straightened himself out, purposefully ignoring the desk at which his father and Arthur appeared a very unhappy duo. He took his time, fastening the buttons at the front of his suit and looking every bit as suave as he did so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, Mr Honda?” The Judge prompted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My client has chosen not to pursue anything further, today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Judge was momentarily surprised, “I see. If that’s all, then this case is dismissed – I’d like to thank the witnesses and any other jurors involved. Court adjourned.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was it. It was done.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’d won.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The case had been dismissed and for once Alfred had won. This trial could have been stretched on for weeks, he could have been facing assault charges… it was rare such cases were dismissed in a pre-lim stage and yet… it hardly felt possible. It wasn’t like things like this happened to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only after the majority of the room had stood to leave did Kiku smile genuinely, accepting a handshake from Antonio and probably some form of teasing from Lovino. The gratefulness that surged through his chest was almost unfathomable, and he reached forward to brush his fingers against Kiku’s, lightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He bid Lovino and Antonio farewell, accepting a far too tight hug from his best friend before he climbed into Kiku’s car – he was tired, mentally, and entirely thankful towards Kiku. He still wanted to disappear for a moment, to refresh his mind and accept what had just happened. It had gone well. They’d won and Kiku was fucking wonderful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know,” Alfred murmured after Kiku seated himself in the car, “The media will find out about what Arthur said – that courtroom was full.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mean, find out about us?” Kiku questioned, “Does it bother you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Alfred frowned, meeting his eyes, “That’s not what I meant. It should bother you – you’re the one in the spotlight, the one the media will target.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let them gossip, Alfred. It’s all they are good for.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re gonna take one look at me and…” He deflated, averting his gaze beyond the window.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And?” His boyfriend prompted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“People like you don’t fall in love with people like me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku sighed, “If that came from anyone else’s mouth, I’d be a little mad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred glanced down when Kiku reached for his hand, “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re telling me who I’m supposed to love. That’s not anyone’s decision,” Kiku’s thumb traced along the back of his hand, “Not yours, and definitely not pathetic businessmen’s who’ll come crawling back to me with their tails between their legs because they need me. You’re every bit as worthy for me as I am for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Alfred responded, deflated and feeling a tad ridiculous, “I’m sorry – I just don’t want this affecting your work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It won’t,” Kiku assured, offering a small smile, “My clients are loyal and my skills dictate my business, not my personal preferences.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” He blurted out, “For everything you’ve ever done. For representing me, when you could be busy working for someone who paid you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care about money,” Kiku responded, “I care about you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred almost huffed, “I’m still thankful. I mean it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku placed a gentle kiss to his cheek, and Alfred wanted to melt into the leather of the car seat. Instead, he let himself lean against the lawyer, thankful that the windows for the back of the car were tinted dark – perhaps he didn’t need to disappear to refresh his mind, perhaps all he needed was Kiku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>as usual, my tumblr is @heta and i love talking to you all</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ITS THE LAST CHAPTER *crying and sobbing*</p><p>It's been such a wild ride to write this and I never expected how much love and support I would get for a fic like this!! A thousand thank yous is not nearly enough but thank you thank you thank you. I'll keep this beginning note short and be all sappy in the ending notes.</p><p>*made some small tweaks and updates*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Alfred had predicted the media outrage the moment the words had left Arthur’s mouth – and your relationship with Mr Honda, could that have also played a factor? One bitter, petty question and he knew repercussions would follow. Of course, that had been Arthur’s sole intention, his slipping grip holding on to the case with vicious claws; all but ripping through irrelevancy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In all honesty, he hadn’t really expected the Twitter hashtags wherein younger, more liberated minds came to the lawyer’s defence as the media attempted negative backlash. Backlash including arrogant fingers searching through everything personal involving Alfred – and publishing it. He wasn’t concerned for himself as much as he had been for Kiku; he didn’t have a multi-million company to save from share plummets.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Someone had discovered he’d been the initial intended hair to Jones International; had discovered, through nought but hearsay, that he’d left due to conflict with his father.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could spend days reading thoughtless rumours and nothing you could say would aid them in disappearing any faster,” Kiku began, leaning against the door to his own office, “Ignore it, why care?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred looked up from his phone, “Don’t you care? I saw the shareholder percentage drop – I’m pretty sure the whole country did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guilt, perhaps, played part to Alfred’s reluctance. If Kiku hadn’t represented him, this wouldn’t have happened – there wouldn’t be an ongoing power battle for the top firm if Alfred hadn’t dragged Kiku into this mess. His mess. If he wasn’t attached to Kiku this way. He was unsure how Kiku could be seemingly unaffected when this could’ve been avoided.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku sighed, pushing himself up to close the distance between them, “Yao and I own a majority within the firm – I couldn’t care less about balding old men with heads buried deep within each other’s asses.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He snorted as Kiku leaned down to kiss his forehead, because, yes, somehow, he’d expected something similar from the lawyer’s response. His own doubts were nothing beyond overthinking, an inexperience that stemmed from the way Kiku as much as smiled at him – like his heart was expecting his mind to wake up any moment and face reality.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except, this was reality – and Alfred’s heart was admittedly in deeper than it had ever been before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a meeting,” Kiku said, a little regretfully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred blinked, remembering the sole reason he’d even turned up to Kiku’s office – although, it may have been remotely believable that he’d just turn up to watch his boyfriend work. What other inspiration would he need?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He held up the plastic bag at his side, “Remember to eat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The look in Kiku’s eyes, then, the crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes – adoration, perhaps, something not quite fathomable within words, as Kiku leaned down to place a goodbye kiss to Alfred’s lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will,” He replied, taking the bag and giving Alfred a smile he’d never quite learn to breathe through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once again left alone within Kiku’s office, Alfred pushed himself to his feet to find a better use for his day other than lingering around the lawyer’s firm. As much as he liked the people here, he’d experienced enough law jargon and professionalism to last him quite a while – it was as he was leaving that his eyes noticed the white plastic, something rather out of place atop Kiku’s large wooden desk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a polaroid picture – the very picture Alfred had taken on Kiku’s old camera, the two of them sat in front of Kiku’s living room windows. Kiku was sat behind Alfred, his arms out of view though Alfred remembered them being wrapped around his own waist. The lawyer’s eyes were closed, his lips pressed softly against the skin of Alfred’s neck; something rather soft to contradict Alfred’s own goofy peace sign.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was unsure for how long he stared at the picture, the quality poor but cherished by Kiku all the same – on Kiku’s work desk, of all places. Somewhere the lawyer would look every day. Alfred found himself sitting on Kiku’s chair, his heart beating a little harder in his chest as he, for possibly the first time, allowed himself to feel how much Kiku meant to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How much he loved Kiku. He loved Kiku – was in love with Kiku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something so arbitrary yet it had taken him this long to even realise it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead of allowing himself the fear of prevailing attachment, though the panic crossed his mind, he allowed himself to breathe – and wait. Because he wasn’t entirely an idiot, he’d seen the way Kiku looked at him often, the smiles, the touches like they’d somehow prevent Alfred from disappearing. It was something, even if he had no words to determine whatever it was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku had never been verbal about the way he felt, nor had it ever been easy to read the man’s face – instead, perhaps, it was found within the little things. Within the way he awoke Alfred with a kiss to his forehead on dark mornings before even the sun had chance to touch his skin; within that crinkle of his eyes as he watched Alfred attempt to save a burning breakfast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Adoration in the lawyer’s eyes and all Alfred had wanted to do was make some damn food.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred stared at the polaroid a little longer, his mind searching for the sense to describe the light feeling flowing through his veins – the search was fruitless, the polaroid returning to Kiku’s desk as Alfred stood up, words in his heart that his mind was beginning to find.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d tell Kiku, eventually. Probably.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliks had finally decided to pick up their ass and move in with them – the move itself had been rather painless, albeit the uncanny number of belongings their best friend had somehow managed to cramp into their tiny apartment. (And the fact that Feliks complained the entire time.) They’d also been reminded of Feliks’ awful eating habits, the fashion design major surviving solely on instant ramen and coffee alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m making you dinner,” Alfred announced the moment they’d all collapsed onto the sofa, “And you’re going to eat it, Liks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m an art student, not dying,” Feliks retaliated, kicking their feet up onto the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Coffee doesn’t replace sleep,” Lovino mumbled, his eyes closing in mild exhaustion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And anyway,” Feliks continued, “Toris is taking me out for dinner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And then what?” Lovino asked, smirking despite his closed eyes. Feliks smacked him in the middle of his chest with enough force to hurt but not enough to damage their newly manicured set.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred rolled his eyes, just as their doorbell rang – Feliks was on their feet in an instant, sauntering over to the door like he already owned the place. Toris appeared as Alfred remembered him, though his clothing far more casual; which meant Feliks had probably told the CEO's son to come straight from class. Poor soul.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lovino remained half asleep as Alfred made them all coffee (see also: hot chocolate for Feliks), the light feeling in his chest that morning keeping his mood afloat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So anyway,” Feliks began in the tone they used when trying to be discreet, “How’s your whole, like, music producing thing coming along?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um,” Alfred replied, sitting down, “Good? Kinda wish I was studying it at college, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was enjoying where his life had taken him, right now – from everything personal to practical, he was beyond thankful he had the chance to produce music without having to worry about paying rent. It was all he’d ever wanted to do, all he’d ever enjoyed doing… he just wished he could be doing it in an environment that allowed his potential to escalate. Like college.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toris raised a nondescript eyebrow, sharing a look with Feliks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does Kiku know?” His friend questioned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred frowned, “I’m not letting him pay for my tuition.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as Alfred might have wanted to take this to a higher level, there was no way he’d even allow Kiku to consider paying his tuition – there were things he wanted to do for himself, no matter how distant the possibility. He refused to be a burden, and he refused to be a charity case.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two shared another look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Alfred sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I…” Feliks trailed off, before grinning wide, “I may have showed Toris the track you wanted Lovi to demo vocals for. And then I, also, maybe, showed him all your other music demos? Shared online account perks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… what?” He replied, confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Toris finally spoke up, offering the taller a small smile, “I think you have a real talent, Alfred. A talent that could really be put to use in the right environment.” His smile was warm as he handed him a small pamphlet. (With a smile like that, Alfred could definitely see why Feliks was so smitten.) “I think you would fit right in here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s eyes widened because, oh my God this is one of the most of the most prestigious arts schools in the country. There was a small picture of whom he assumed was Toris’ father (judging by the last name) and momentarily wondered what else the tech giant had his hand in. Anyway, it was a nice thought, up until the hefty price tag. He was thankful for the sentiment, though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, but,” He hesitated, smiling small, “It’s not something I’d ever be able to afford.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toris’ smile was soft, “We’re offering you a scholarship, Alfred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes flickered over to Feliks’s in disbelief, who looked both smug and bashful, “I’ve hardly earned a scholarship.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toris looked at him seriously, “This isn’t for Feliks, if that’s what you’re thinking. I listened to your work, myself – me and my father. Alfred, you have real talent, and we-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span>-- wish to contribute to your future; contribute to harnessing that potential.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Because, really, what else was he supposed to say?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can think about it,” Toris gave him a charming smile, patting Alfred’s shoulder as he and Feliks prepared to leave, “The new semester doesn’t start until January.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>January was literal months away, an entire winter away – and Alfred had that amount of time to think about it like the decision was his. He was certain that Feliks played some sort of role in his offer, but Toris claimed he’d heard Alfred’s work first hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He merely watched as Feliks and their (boy)friend left, the disbelief prominent in his wide eyes as Lovino shrugged his shoulders and sipped on the cooling coffee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, Alfred wouldn’t entirely trust his instincts when they told him something was wrong. Not particularly wrong, but different – because he was pretty damn certain that Kiku was acting different. There were moments of hesitation between them, in which Alfred could conclude nothing but confusion; Kiku didn’t hesitate, he didn’t change the subject whenever Alfred began to prod… except, he was. And Alfred was concerned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, Alfred gave up on his game of tiptoeing around the older man and sat himself directly atop his boyfriend’s lap. Kiku merely tried to continue reading the words upon his laptop screen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did something happen?” He asked, sliding his arms around Kiku’s neck to make the lawyer look at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I…” Kiku trailed off in a way that lined Alfred’s mind with nerves, before sighing, “We’re considering a large corporate case. Remember when I said I’d initially been assigned to a branch in China?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred remembered, it was the night they’d first opened up to one another.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We kept the majority of our clients – one client in particular, one of my most loyal clients, is being sued for… millions. I’ll be spending the rest of the year in China,” Kiku continued, his lips dipped in disappointment, “I only trust myself and Yao to handle this, and Yao has been extremely busy for quite some time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been busy, too,” Alfred defended, trying not to think about the fact that the rest of the year meant at least five months.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps,” The lawyer agreed, smiling reluctantly, “If all goes well, I’ll be returning in February.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If all goes well, Alfred thought to himself, Kiku could be gone for… even longer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” He felt a little selfish for the way it was the only word to leave his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Alfred asked, not really needing an answer, “I understand. You’ve already neglected so much work because of me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s face was so serious, so intense, Alfred had to look away, “And I’d do it all over again if I had to, but he’s my oldest client. I have my own professional loyalties, regardless of how much I’d rather spend that time here with you. I could say I’ll fly back when time permits it, but with a case like this, I’m unsure if time will permit it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t even imagine not seeing you for that long,” The words slipped from Alfred’s mouth, even as the warning signs flared to declare he was being clingy, annoying, childish, “I could come with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Kiku’s answer was quick, “You have college, your mother, Alfred, those are not things I’ll allow you to leave just because I’m away for a few months.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A few months?” Alfred mumbled, knowing Kiku’s argument was right, “Semester starts in January and I can fly out to see my mom regularly, it’s not like it’s that long a flight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred knew his mind was fighting for loopholes – it wasn’t like Kiku was disappearing for ever, or even leaving him… but, he couldn’t help the way he felt, the dumb need in his chest that told him four (at least) months apart was going to be pain he didn’t want to experience. Alfred had always preferred change, had always preferred travelling to new places with no plan set in mind. It was freeing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps it was dangerous, with his mom’s health as bad as it was; it was particularly selfish to even allow himself to follow this path of thought. He wanted to be here for her, and it seemed to be the only thought keeping him rooted to the country.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the court case with his father had settled, his mom had successfully filed for divorce and had been moved to a private hospital. She wasn’t restricted to the hospital, nor her bed, but it wouldn’t have been smart to stray far from medical assistance</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku sighed, “I don’t even know when I’ll be able to return.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to be busy, I’ll have the time to see my mom – and maybe I need the change.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Recent events had exhausted him, mentally, his energy draining into the surroundings. A new scene could give him what he needed to recharge… or, he was making excuses again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku had a smile threatening to tug at his lips. “That’s ridiculous,” and Alfred may have agreed, but he was not about to just let go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Alfred tried a smile, “Let me come with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku pressed a kiss into his temple.“Talk to your mom.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next time he saw his mother, he’d offered to take her out to lunch – it was a pleasant opposite to what lunch with her and his father had been, the air much more relaxed without the need to be on the edge of his seat. She had seemed to be doing better, her eyes glowing with mischief as she prodded him with questions about Kiku. He couldn’t tell if she was realistically doing better, or if the distance from his father had brought out the best in her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He considered that it was a placebo within his own mind – he wanted her to be getting better, so any little indication that she was merely looking better filled him with hope. Her coughing fits brought out the familiar ache within his chest, the useless feeling that he contributed nothing to her wellbeing, had been nothing but stress as a son. That he hadn’t conformed to the son she’d probably envisioned as a young mother.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps, he thought for a moment, watching as the condensation trickled down the bottom of her glass, it would be better for him to remain here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you worrying yourself with, now?” She asked, picking up her glass after the coughing halted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her hands still trembled, Alfred noted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled, sad but genuine, “Kiku has to work away, for a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long is a while?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“February, at the earliest,” Alfred answered, toying with a napkin, “A client in China – I understand that it can’t helped. Still sucks, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He considered himself a professional in down playing the ache he seemed to feel within his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She watched him for a moment, before replying, “Some of the saddest memories I have include leaving you, and as a lawyer, those trips away were never short.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred didn’t really want to think about his childhood, about the way he saw more of his teachers than he did his own parents. It was possible that these were the things he should think about, in order to move on from them; he’d already accepted it, but hadn’t, perhaps, completely healed from it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, it’s not like… we can change those things.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m still allowed to regret them,” She gave him the look he’d seen too much of recently, remorse and something akin to sadness, “It wasn’t easy for me. It won’t be easy for him, either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not my mom, though,” Alfred’s attempt at light-hearted humor was overlooked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I remember, on those nights I came to see you before I left, you’d beg me to take you with me,” She then laughed, the sound light and airy, “You said being stuck in my office all day would be better than being stuck in a classroom.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was a smart kid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want to go with him. Why is that causing you so much trouble?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because,” He replied, like the singular word was enough of an answer, “Of course I wanted to go on your business trips, you’re my mom. He’s not my mom. He’s a grown man – I’m a grown man.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred,” She started in that annoyingly persuasive yet soft mom voice, “Let me be here for you, now. Let me be your mom, and let me tell you that I can see what you’re not telling me. Let him be there for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He might not even want me to go with him,” Alfred blurted, because the thought had been burying itself deep within his mind, “It’s a long time to be stuck with someone. We have our own lives, and his does not revolve or even have to remotely consider the way my-.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred,” His mom repeated, shutting him up, “Don’t let your thoughts run away from you. You know he cares about you.” His mom was so smart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He mumbled out a barely audible </span>
  <em>
    <span>I know</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you spent most of your time at his place, so why is that an issue?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Narrowing his eyes slightly, he responded, “Did Feliks tell you that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lovino,” She corrected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Traitors, talking to his mom behind his back like he wouldn’t find out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to leave you here,” Alfred finally said, after chewing on a piece of his food for way too long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mean to say that you’re going to stay here, moping around for days on end, when you could catch a flight or even call me from a country that’s, quite literally, next door?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It sounds simple when you say it like that – but, it’s not simple, mom. I couldn’t live with myself if… if something happened to you here when I’m not here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Visit, call regularly – I refuse to be the one thing anchoring you here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m not just-.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred, you’re my son, and I’m telling you to follow whatever that conflicted heart of yours is telling you to do. Learn to follow your heart now – don’t wait until you’re as old as me to do the same.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He left the conversation at that, choosing instead to talk about his college offer and everything else that didn’t include him travelling to China with Kiku. He chose not to talk about it, nor think about it, nor debate his head and heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lunch had been nice, to finally be able to treat his mom and spend the day with her. It somehow felt needed, like talking to her was the easiest thing in the world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their day eventually drew to an end, and Alfred once again found himself being able to talk for moments on end to his mom – it came with a side of regret, regret that he’d been neglected the opportunity to do this all his life; to just talk to his mom like a normal son and have her chastise him like a normal mom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t entirely clear to him that he’d fallen asleep at her bedside, again, his legs pulled up underneath him in the armchair as she, too, spoke to him about everything and anything. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, hadn’t even realised how tired he’d been until he found his eyes unwilling to open as voices filtered through his ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s voice, and his mom’s – he’d completely forgot that Kiku was supposed to be picking him up and felt a remote pang of guilt that he’d probably worried the lawyer by not replying to his texts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The voices were oddly comforting, and he found himself dozing back into a half-asleep state, his mind still soft with the feeling of slumber. It was as he fell asleep again, his ears bound to betray the words he was hearing, that he heard his mom ask Kiku if he loved her son.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was in those last few moments before sleep, before his body once again fell beneath the lull of warmth, that he heard Kiku’s confirmation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A confirmation that he loved Alfred – and a promise that he’d look after her son, regardless of what the future brought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>☽ ☾</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a particularly long day, this was not how Alfred had predicted it would end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had begun innocent enough – Kiku had drove them both to his apartment, the words Alfred had heard before drifting asleep dancing on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to ask Kiku about it, but something about ‘hey, do you love me?’ was not how Alfred wanted this to ignite.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, he kissed Kiku; kissed the breath from Kiku’s lungs the way the lawyer had done to him so many times before. Alfred had kissed him until the other man had pushed him down onto the bed, lips swollen red and a hint of curiosity in his eyes – curiosity that morphed into something darker when Alfred opened his mouth, sliding the lawyer’s index finger into the heat slowly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku was watching him carefully, his thigh pressed between Alfred’s legs as he pushed his finger in far enough to watch the younger gag. A smirk tugged at his lips, then, and as he moved to withdraw his finger, Alfred bit down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you remember your safe word, Al?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred felt the arousal low in his stomach begin to dance as he nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the hand not fingering his mouth, Kiku slowly began to undo the front of the younger’s trousers, grinding his hand into Alfred’s hardening dick as he did so. Alfred moaned low around the fingers, the sound muffled as Kiku freed him of his underwear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stroked Alfred slowly, his grip tightening as he began to pump the length. Alfred inhaled sharply, almost choking on the fingers within his mouth when Kiku slid his thumb across the head of his cock. The motion was rough, the lack of lube almost painful – that didn’t stop him from complaining when the hand disappeared from his dick with the fingers from his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except, Kiku then pressed the hand to Alfred’s face and Alfred looked up at him in question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Alfred did, leaving a trail of saliva on his boyfriend’s palm and tasting himself in the process.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The slide was easier with the aid of Alfred’s spit, though barely, as the fingers returned to his mouth. Kiku kept him like this, with the younger’s hips bucking up into each stroke as the fingers pressed down harder – in time with a particularly rough stroke, Kiku pushed his fingers into the back of Alfred’s throat and Alfred gagged, his eyes watering as the heat in his abdomen curled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to ask for more, for something quicker than the slow pace Kiku was dragging this out at – the words were useless, a mere gurgle around Kiku’s fingers as the elder smirked, quickening his pace until Alfred was certain he was seeing stars.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku didn’t even try to stop Alfred from fucking up into his fist, instead used the precum to ease the strokes of his hand. He quickened his pace until Alfred was squirming, on the edge of coming apart, before halting his actions completely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred whined, his hips bucking up into nothing as Kiku slid the pants down his thighs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The click of a bottle lid was the only hint Alfred received before a finger was pushing into him, his aching cock left neglected between them as Kiku begun working him open – with the lawyer’s fingers out of his mouth, Alfred’s tongue failed to halt the begging, to halt the please and more that fell past his lips as Kiku pinned his hips to the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The seconds fell together into a desperate blur as Kiku took his time, drawing out every moan and whine that Alfred didn’t even try to hide until the lawyer was turning him over, pulling his hips into the air and pushing his head against the mattress.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt Kiku’s lips on the back of his neck, then, the trail of teeth and tongue following the length of his shoulder as Kiku lined himself up at Alfred’s entrance – he bit down as he pushed in, and Alfred couldn’t even care that he was drooling against the bedding when he moaned, Kiku’s low groan joining him as his hips pressed up against Alfred’s ass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku waited, seemingly in no rush as he continued to lay his lips where he pleased along Alfred’s upper back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Move,” Alfred gasped out, trying to grind his cock into the air beneath, “Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Where he’d been slow in the preparation, in pushing Alfred to the edge only to pull him painstakingly back, he made up for when he pulled out and slammed back into Alfred – the younger was certain he yelled, but the thought was hardly relevant as Kiku began fucking into him properly, his hands holding Alfred’s hips up in a bruising grip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred’s hands grasped for the bedsheets, a last-ditch attempt to avoid jerking himself off; he wanted to feel Kiku’s hand around him, pushing him over that edge as he pushed into him harder – the thoughts were voiced aloud and Kiku groaned, fucking Alfred harder until the sound of his hips slapping against Alfred’s ass joined the chorus of moans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was close to coming untouched when Kiku slowed, pumping into him slowly and Alfred wanted to cry in need for the release that had been denied twice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was when Kiku pulled out completely and Alfred whimpered, hardly graceful when Kiku turned him over and wrapped the younger’s long legs around his hips. He leaned over Alfred carefully, leaning down to briefly kiss his lips as he began to fuck him again – the kiss was far from perfect, sloppy and jittery with the pace of the lawyer’s thrusts, yet Alfred chased the other’s lips all the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A hand trailed down his ribs, sliding across the sweat on his stomach until, finally, wrapping around his cock. He clenched around Kiku instantly, the pleasure searing through him as his boyfriend fucked into him until he was a moaning mess, his hips trying to fuck into the fist and fuck back onto Kiku’s cock at the same time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku leaned away from him, then, the grip on his cock tightening as the pleasure in Alfred’s body began to peak.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to come for me, baby boy?” Kiku’s voice was breathless, his tone low as Alfred let out an oh god please yes, “Then come.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Kiku slammed into him, Alfred’s back arched from the bed as his hands gripped the sheets so hard the muscles in his arms strained – he clenched around Kiku, hard, as his come joined the mess of sweat between them. Kiku’s own groan was low, his pace quickening as he pumped Alfred until his thighs shook in oversensitivity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred lifted a hand to grip onto Kiku’s back, his nails raking down the skin as Kiku tensed on top of him, his hips stuttering to a stop as he came with Alfred’s name on his lips. He kissed Kiku, the action a breathy mess as they both panted hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku allowed himself to collapse to the side of Alfred, pulling the younger against him and uncaring of the mess now cooling atop them both. They said nothing, merely allowed the darkness in the room to calm their breathing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They continued to lay there through their high, Kiku’s fingers tracing shapes into Alfred’s hip as they allowed themselves to simply appreciate the other’s presence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cleaning was probably their smartest move, yet Alfred preferred to just lay there, tucked into Kiku’s side like he wasn’t the taller of the two. He allowed his eyes to focus through the darkness, to trail the length of silver light that the moon spilled through the open curtain. The only sound remained that of their breathing, yet the sound within Alfred’s chest felt so much louder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to say it, the words that had been on his mind for the past few weeks – regardless of what happened, he knew he’d be okay with it. The thought of China may have scared him beyond admittance, but somehow that fear was beyond miniscule when Kiku was by his side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite his lack of energy, he found himself moving to straddle Kiku’s lap; it couldn’t help but feel reminiscent of their first night spent together, how uncertain things had been yet how content he’d felt there on the lawyer’s sofa.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His lips touched Kiku’s jaw, slowly finding their way through the dark to Kiku’s lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alfred kissed his lips once, before murmuring, “I love you, Kiku.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, perhaps he was unfamiliar with those words when uttered allowed, and yet, his shoulders felt lighter than ever before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku’s hands tightened on his waist, lips against his own once again until his mind began to swim – and not entirely from the lack of oxygen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve loved you for quite some time, Alfred Jones.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right now, he didn’t have to worry, he didn’t have to think about anything other than the gorgeous man laid atop him. He loved Kiku, he loved Kiku so much it was overwhelming, and Kiku loved him back. He repeated Kiku’s words like a mantra in his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time, it was Alfred who smiled into the kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(He really hated to admit it, but Lovino and Feliks had actually been right. For once.)</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>AND THATS A WRAP! THE END!! oh my god this was so much fun (and very hard) to write! I started this at around the beginning of quarantine because I had some free time and was disappointed in the lack of sub!America I'd seen, especially in Ameripan! I didn't think I'd even finish this.</p><p>Thank you all so much for your continued support, I really hope you enjoyed this fic. I can't believe my friend even doodled Feliks from this for me? Like what! I genuinely tear up at every nice comment and ask I got on tumblr about this fic, it was mind blowing I didn't expect any of it. This was my first long fic and my first smut fic actually!! I'll probably cringe at this by this time next year but at the moment I'm very proud of myself.</p><p>Okay sappy ranting over, please leave kudos and comments if you liked! Or you can send me asks or DMs on <a href="https://heta.tumblr.com">@heta</a>! I love making mutuals and talking to people so don't be shy, I'm a total loser.</p><p>Thank you all again for all of your support, I love you.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>follow me on tumblr @heta</p></blockquote></div></div>
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